Oh God.

I had it all planned that I'd Burst Back into the Blogosphere with a Magnificent Post, full of verve & panache. Funny, breezy, ascerbic, with just a little touch of The Brave Martyr, like Joan Crawford, perhaps in 'Mildred Pearce', (one of my favourite films by the way)  lightly carrying the emotional weight of the world on my ample shoulder pads.

Instead I got sick.

I'm not kidding, I thought that I'd got Pig Flu. Last night as I lay in bed tossing & turning, boiling hot & then unexpectedly icy cold, I racked my brain as to where I could have contracted it. I certainly hadn't been to Mexico. 

When I woke up this morning, I seemed to have worsened. It was the first day back at school after our holiday. How could I stand in front of the whiteboard with Pig Flu? It would be Too Irresponsible. 

So I rang in sick. 

I went back to bed & wondered what to do next. For a while I listened to 'Mindfulness', an audiobook by some fabulous spiritual teacher called Jon Kabat-Zinn. The earphones made my earache worse, so I stopped listening. 

Then I got up & had two aspirin & three thousand milligrams of Vitamin C. And I've been doing that every four hours for the whole day.

 My answer to everything is Vitamin C. Never mind that I could be killing my kidneys. A small price to pay for not having Pig Flu.

And now it's Night & I'm feeling Slightly Better. 

So, I'm going back to bed to listen to more audiobooks. I've ditched Jon Kabat-Zinn for Lynne Mc Taggart who I discovered on Oprah's 'Soul Series' radio programme. Lynne is going to talk to me about how we live in this silly Newtonian Universe when really we should be living in a Quantum One. I'm quite interested & find her no nonsense confident American voice quite soothing. Just what my Pig Flu needs.

I've got sooo many pictures of my amazing thrifted finds from 'Bednobs & Broomsticks' to show you.  Sooo... stick around

Betty Bacon Goes to A Party

This is Officially Not an Explanation.

But I just thought that you might like to know that I've been Slightly Sick. Maybe a v. mild virus, with a hint of Existential Ennui thrown in.

But I've got such a lot to Bang on About that I Must Post Now.

The pictures above are from a House Leaving Party that I attended on saturday evening. The House that is About to be Left to a shiny new owner is a Serious Sydney House. That means that it has Views. The particular view that this house has is The Pacific Ocean which is fab, but not quite as fab as having Harbour views. I've been to a party at this house before, so I was thrilled to be invited to another one.

It's always a little awkward to go to a party alone. I walked up to the front door clutching a v. reasonably priced bottle of Merlot, found it was open & walked in. And There I Am! An unknown person is standing in the hallway & I say hi. They grunt & then I walk into the huge living room with the pool & the Ocean all laid out in front of me & look for any familiar faces.

I spot the Hostess who looks glamourous in a Long Halter-Neck Sheath even though it feels like Late Autumn again when it's Almost Summer. I am dressed Autumnally in a Thrifted wool-like substance coatdress. I'm Nothing if Not Appropriately Dressed for the Weather Regardless of Season. 

Then I spy an Dear Old Friend who's chatting to Barbara & Joan, a couple of his friends that I like & would like to get to know better. It's a great thing when you go to a party alone & then you suddenly see your friends. It's like arriving at a Safe Harbour.

I was so relieved & excited to see them that of course I immediately began Oversharing. I started to tell in great detail The Story of My Dumping. Every little Twist & Turn including important background information about our relationship going back many years. A Complete Stranger came up & joined the group, but that didn't stop me. I just kept going. I would like to tell you that after a while a small crowd gathered around  me, hanging on my every word, &  urging me to go on in even more gruesome detail.

Sadly, that didn't happen. Instead, the host's black cocker spaniel, who is deaf & blind, knocked into Joan & started pathetically whining. Immediately all the attention went to the dog. I was crushed.

But I managed to bring the spotlight back to me by loudly bragging to anyone who'd listen that all my clothes are thrifted. That's always a great Conversation Starter, I find.  Barbara revealed that her wonderful 'Prada' bag, pictured above, was also thrifted. I just knew that we had something in common! 

Vive La Thrifte!

Who Would Have Thought that A Filing Cabinet Could Be Alladin's Cave?

Today I was full of energy.

 Not that I'm usually sluggish.  But I came to school, sat at my desk & immediately corrected five exam essays on 'Psycho'. 

Then I did something almost unprecedented: I opened up the drawers of my filing cabinet. As a rule, I eschew Filing Cabinets & those nasty dividers that live inside them. And I hate keeping stuff like Notes on Wordsworth or Lear or Arthur Miller or Ad Nauseum. I leave all that to my Hardworking Colleagues who I rely on to provide me with  the Relevant Teaching Materials on a Need to Know basis. 

 My Filing Cabinet is full of things that I have either permanently or temporarily discarded  - spare clothes, action figures, magazines, old debating trophies, wigs etc. 

Today when I opened it, it was Almost, but Not Quite like going into Aladdin's Cave. All sorts of things, both pleasant & unpleasant popped out at me.

A pleasant discovery was this marvellous  yellow waistcoat that I must have thrifted some time back that Princess Pip immediately pounced on & claimed for her own. 

An unpleasant discovery was a a load of smelly old Educational Pamphlets that had been silently rotting in the bottom drawer gathering mould for years.

As you can see, I  removed them, but not before my New Trusty Photographer, Goldie took a snap. 

 I'm Dressed for Action in my Official Faux Chanel outfit, including one of my own homemade necklaces featuring a cameo & the Number 5, in honour of Chanel's favourite perfume that I swear smells like Cat's Wee.

I thought that I'd lost my wonderful thrifted YSL flats that I'm wearing today, but they were only under the spare bed. It was almost worth the pain & anguish of losing them to experience the joy of rediscovery! 

The wonderful Faux Chanel top is a gift from my best friend Marge. She got it from our favourite shop, 'Anthropologie'.

I just had a thought: maybe my urge to clear out all the Old Stuff is something to do with moving on from 'Being Dumped'

As Enid Blyton would say, 'Hurrah'!!!!!!

Letting My Free Flag Fly

I'm still trying to come up with an Alternative Label to 'Being Dumped'. 

So far I can't think of a thing.

I did come up with 'Footloose', which does have a Certain Ring of Truth to it, but it just made me think of Kevin Bacon. 

And then I wondered if  my new label could be called 'Kevin Bacon' or just simply 'Kevin', but that would confuse things because our Prime Minister is called Kevin Rudd & everyone refers to him as 'Kevin'.

But 'Kevin Bacon' is the name of a person, not a State of Being or a Blog Label. Although since 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon', I'm not too sure.

I'd like to talk more about Kevin & how the whole 'Six Degrees' thing has been taken up by scientists who are using the idea as the springboard for Some Amazing New Scientific Discoveries, but I won't. 

 I've just had a Brainwave for the Name of the Label - Bacon!

 It's perfect. Well, at least it's better than Toast. 

So, from now on I'm Not Dumped, I'm "Bacon". 

Before closing, as you can see from the photo, I'm in a slightly patriotic mood today, as I'm posing with the Australian flag. Tonight's the night of the big premiere of the new Baz Luhrmann film, 'Australia'. Apparently Baz only finished it yesterday afternoon. 

Can't wait for the reviews tomorrow morning.