The Curse of Man Made Fibres

Memory Lapses or Am I Just Making Up My Life As I Go Along?
I've spent the last week trying to remember if this is the second or third Market Stall that The Ex-School Nurse & me have had this year. It certainly feels like the third.
Anyway, here we are at the beginning of the day. The car is packed full of our clothes & it's v. early in the morning. Note that we are both Unintentionally Thematically Dressed in shades of black & white except I've just realised that I'm also wearing shades of red. Ex-SN is wearing a beautiful silk dress she had made in Vietnam & a Mother of Pearl Dinosaur Designs necklace.
I'm wearing Top-to-Toe Synthetics which is one of the reasons that  My Clothes aren't that attractive to Potential Buyers. But More about that later.
Atlas Ears
.I'm also wearing enormous black Chandelier Earrings  I recently purchased for $5 at 'Lovisa' in Bondi Westfield. Even though it looks like my Lobes are carrying a Large Load, seriously, I didn't even realise I was wearing them except when I moved my head suddenly & they smacked me in the side of the face. Luckily, no bruising occurred.

The Ex-SN is uncannily lucky with parking spots so of course we got an all day parking spot almost directly outside the Rozelle Markets. Every time I am in the car with her, it's like The Parting of  The Red Sea - a car spot always spontaneously opens up, only Moses or Charlton Heston isn't there to oversee the proceedings. Ex-SN does it all herself.
I digress.
Feeding Frenzy
As soon as we schlepped our wares to our designated spot in the Market Grounds, we were invaded by hoards of permanent stall holders, above, desperate to rifle through our bags, pluck out a few choice items, pay a v. modest price for them & them re-sell them at five times the price. You'd think that this would annoy us but it doesn't. We enjoy the attention & don't care a fig who buys our stuff.

This lovely lady is wearing a hand painted dress that a friend made for her. She's holding up one of my Man Made Fibre Tops in the hope that it might fit her as that shade of blue is her favourite colour. Sadly, even though I totally willed it to, it didn't fit her. I was crushed.

I spent large chunks of the day channelling my New Hero, Bill Cunningham & taking photos of people who I thought looked interesting. I just loved the Dusty Pink Sequinned dress worn above by that Beautiful Person.

And I loved the way this young woman (I dare not use the term, 'Lady' because the Advanced Style blogger got heavily chastised by another blog for calling his subjects, Ladies) is wearing her Chanel Bag......

....and and I also loved how this Young Woman, above (is it too limiting or discriminating to call her a Baby or perhaps, dare I say, a 'Toddler'?) is wearing her jewels. BTW, this is the only age group that can get away with wearing Crocs.

But my total favourite look of the whole day was worn by Liv, above who just took my breath away with her unusual combination of flowers & colours & jewels & big smile.

Here she is again, above, with her mother carrying An Important Message over her shoulder.

Another Mother & Daughter combination wearing complementary shades of green. Honestly, Joan & Christina Crawford couldn't have done it better.

I was v. impressed with people's Sun Hygiene. I have a difficulty in wearing hats as I'm convinced they make my Slightly Hooked Nose look more prominent.  Perhaps I should carry a Stylish Parasol like the Fab One, above.

I gushed all over this Person. I loved the Red Camellia sandals & the hat. I wanted to rip the sandals off her feet & put them on my own. But I just took her photo instead.
BTW, have I told you that since I seriously started wearing Other People's Shoes in a range of sizes, that not only have I been bothered by Corns but also it appears that my feet have grown by at least a size? What a phenomenon, although I have been Reliably Informed that as we age our Noses, Ears & Feet grow.

Even though many people were brightly dressed to celebrate an Uncharacteristically Sunny Late Spring Day, I noticed Truckloads of Black, like this Person, above. I  loved her Pared-Down Minimalist Look accessorized only with the Magnificent Plait. And I was tempted to spell 'Pared- down' as 'Peared-Down' but resisted the urge. Such Control in the face of Such Temptation.

I've saved the Best Dressed to last. This wonderfully clad Pomeranian, below who calmly sat on a table while her owner set up her Plant Stall, stole the show. No wonder the word Dog is God Spelled Backwards. 
By about 3pm, the thunderstorm that had been predicted for lunchtime began with a large fanfare of falling leaves. We took this as our cue to pack up. Ex-SN had her usual Bumper Day. I was Less Successful owing to my Man Made Fibre Handicap. But you see, I must wear Synthetics because I lack the Necessary Ironing Skills.

Dyspeptic Comfort Zones

 Good Morning, although it probably isn't morning when you read this. But it is for me.
Writing in the morning is soo Out of My Comfort Zone as I usually write in a frenzy at nite while desperately trying to beat the clock before My Official Bedtime arrives.
And..... I'm not really sure if I do actually have a Comfort Zone at all...... but that's a whole other story.
As it's the morning, I am in the School Hall sitting amongst a  large gaggle of senior students who are supposedly studying for an assessment task that they will complete later today.
A student just came up to me & asked me to tell her the meaning of 'Dyspeptic'. I obliged. She thanked me profusely & went back to her desk. It occurred to me that 'Dyspeptic' totally describes my mood today.
I now realise what is happening. Della wants me to write about Comfort Zones & Dyspepsia.
But I don't. Instead, I want to write about how I'm having yet another Clothing Market Stall with my friend The Ex-School Nurse on Sunday at Rozelle Markets & how I'm ruthlessly throwing out Semi-Cherished Items such as this Vintage Handbag, shown Above & Below.
There's Two Things that I want you to note about the pictures:
1. I have photographed them using the More Lomo app on my iPhone. This week I saw some photos using this app featured in an old issue of Yen Magazine that I retrieved out of my building's Recycling Bin.
I wonder what the correct name is for someone who almost falls in Head First into large Garbage Bins whilst desperately searching for discarded magazines? A Bin Diver, perhaps?  Slightly lame.
Of course I just checked with The Oracle, Wikipedia. It's called Dumpster Diving. Whilst I do like the repetition of the 'D' sound, it's not really correct because I don't believe we use the term 'dumpster' where I come from.  We call it a 'Skip'. God knows why. Anyway, I wasn't actually diving into a dumpster. It was one of those green garbage bins that  go to just below my bustline & I'm not technically a dwarf. If the bin was a dress, it would be an Empire Line.
I must move on before I Drown in my own Detail.
1(a) I must say that I ever so slightly recommend the More Lomo app. I loved the effect that it created with these photos, particularly as I took them v. quickly without much thought. You'd never know.
BTW, don't bother reading all the comments that disgruntled users have posted about More Lomo. They're just having a whinge.
2. Look closely at the Gold Gucciesque clasp on the handbag. I can't tell you how much time I've spent gazing at Gucci Logos on Google Images. At this stage, I have abandoned any slight tinge of hope  that the bag is a vintage Gucci.
Yes, I have Offically Let this One Go, although I don't want to be like that family who sold the lost Da Vinci painting for 45 pounds at Sotheby's in 1958 & now that  it's had six years of v. detailed cleaning & restoration is authenticated as a genuine Leonardo. And priceless.

Upstairs Downstairs

Helen Mirren's Doppelganger.

You may or may not be wondering what I'm still doing at the Rozelle Market.

It's rather cumbersome to explain & I'm sure you're not that interested.

I know that I'm certainly not that interested in telling you.

I'm far more interested in getting back to watching one of my favourite films of all time, 'Gosford Park' which I've paused for the moment.

I hope you've seen it. If you haven't, you shouldn't be reading this blog.

That's perhaps a trifle harsh. I take it back. But seriously, if you haven't seen it, or haven't seen it in yonks, do yourself a favour & watch it.

Why?

1. It's directed by Robert Altman which means that everybody talks over each other. Kind of what people do In Real Life, whatever that is.

2. Poor Robert is dead which is a damn shame because I would have liked him to do a sequel - 'Gosford Park 2: The Revenge of Downstairs'.

3. It has my Ideal Cast - Maggie Smith, Helen Mirren, Eileen Atkins, Stephen Fry, Alan Bates, Richard E (or is it 'F'?) Grant & Dumbledore to name just my particular favourites. The only sour note is that Judy Dench is not in it.

4. I totally remind myself of Maggie, Judy & particularly Helen.

5. It's set in my Absolute Dream Time & location - a large country house full of nasty plummy voiced guests & poor downtrodden servants in 1930s England. No prizes for guessing what group I would most identify with.

Sudoku Dressing.

Here I am with The Ex-School Nurse.

I've really gone Out on a Limb with the Pattern Mixing which is one of my Favourite Pastimes besides having my eyebrows waxed. I'm absolutely convinced that it keeps my brain active, rather like doing a crossword puzzle or perhaps, Sudoku.

Of course, my great fear is that I look like a Tarot Card Reader or a Circus Performer. Not that there's anything wrong with looking like either.

The Ex-SN is wearing an absolutely scrumptuous 'Dinosaur Designs' necklace which is sadly partly obscured by that ungainly lampshade which I hope nobody bought. Drat.

One of the main reasons why I do so like to go to the market is to take photos of Other Outfits.

I loved the look of this Latter Day Mary Poppins Shopper. Her outfit reminds me of two trends that I've noticed lately : 1. The Preponderance of Polka Dots. 2. The long dress.

Although I think this lady looks great, I personally wouldn't wear a long dress. But perhaps if it was a Designer Label that I managed to purchase v. reasonably at 'Bednobs Etc' I might be persuaded. But it would have to be an 'A' list Designer.

I desperately wanted to buy this Man with His Insides Showing on the Outside as I could identify with it. I often feel like my insides are showing.

And I'm getting mightily sick of typing in bold when I didn't ask for it.

But I didn't buy it. Xmas is coming & I want to buy some nice gifts for my daughter Maeflower, who totally deserves a little pampering. And I'm not just saying that to suck up to her. Plus I'm going to California in two weeks tomorrow. And the Australian Dollar has parity with the US Dollar. And I need Dental Work done unless I'm keen to look like something out of 'Hansel & Gretal'.

The Gravitas That Fakes Never Have

Bonjour Mes Amigos

Come on a quick Pictorial Journey with me & The Ex-School Nurse! You won't be disappointed. Or bored. But perhaps a little Sad that you weren't with us.

It was yesterday morning at around 7 am when we loaded up Nursey's Four Wheel Drive & headed for Rozelle Markets where we had High Hopes of selling all our Unwanted Items of Clothing. And look at how much of it we had. If only I could get rid of all my Unwanted Emotions so easily. Actually, It wasn't v. easy for me to get rid of the clothes either. But more on that later.

Eyebrow Appreciation.

Look look look at me above with my Freshly Waxed & Shaped & Dyed Eyebrows that scream 'Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee'. Actually not her. More, 'Look at me, I'm Janet Leigh'.

I've just been teaching 'Psycho' to my Year 9 class & all I can look at & admire is Janet's majestically arched eyebrows. My eyes can't keep away from them even during the Shower Scene.

The Strict Eyebrow Regime.

Every four weeks I go to 'The Waxing Diva's' in Bondi Westfield .

And every time I go, it gets More Painful as Roe, the Eyebrow Diva finds more Rogue Hairs on my face to Wax. Eventually, I imagine that my entire face will be waxed.

How will I withstand the pain?

What the Hell? Why, O why am I talking about eyebrows when I'm supposed to be walking you through My Market Stall Pictures?

You know, this is the problem with Della. I'm mentioned this before. But its high time that I mention it again: The Blog has a mind of its own. It wants to run the show. It wants to set the agenda. But you know what? I'm in charge. Not Della.

So its back to Market.

Persistent Polka Dots.

Don't you think that the term, 'Polka Dot' is an Absolute Crack Up? I've never thought of it before. I'm suddenly thinking of neat rows of Happy Peasants on the Village Green with the Matterhorn in the background, madly polkaing to the accompaniment of a a Piano Accordion.

Perhaps it was the earliness of the hour, but when I got up on sunday morning, I was suddenly impelled to pay homage to the Humble Polka Dot. And I'm not sorry. I totally loved wearing this ensemble which was made entirely from Man Made fabrics . Luckily, I don't sweat much.

Arm Candy Rules.

I'm still totally obsessed with loading up my arm with Elacticised Bracelets that mostly feature pearls & diamantes & little cubes that spell L-O-V-E. Usually, I wind them all around each other to form an Interesting Arm Sculpture that often cuts off the circulation. But I couldn't do that at the market as I needed to use my arm.

Not that I don't have to use it on Normal Days.

Here's The Ex-School Nurse looking radiantly unruffled as she unpacks the Unwanted Clothes even though a small pack of vultures are surrounding her.

I must say that it was slightly stressful unpacking everything & throwing it on the trestle tables that are so generously provided by the Market.

(a) My table groaned under the weight of The Unwanted.

(b) I'm sure My Table was too much of a challenge for Most People.

(c) There's always at least One Item that everybody is drawn to & has to pick up & inspect.

And then they put it down. This time, the lucky Unwanted Item was a patterned slightly bubble shirt. After its Fiftieth Rejection, I started to feel quite sorry for it.

(d) Sales were generally slow throughout the day. Which was absolutely NOT what I imagined would happen.

(E) At the end of the day, I had to stuff most of it back into the bags & schlep it back into The Ex-SN's car.

(f) After an exhaustive Post Mortem, I decided that my Presentation & Marketing Strategy Needs to Change.

(g) I had a great time. The Ex-SN gave me a Louis V. satchel that had been kicking around her house for yonks & she thought she must sell. I am totally convinced that it is The Real Deal because it has a Certain Gravitas that Fakes never have. Plus, I have convinced myself that the stitching is a kind of a mustardy colour, which I am told is a Total Giveaway in identifying a real one. Plus Plus, I bought from her a fab pair of Patent Loafers that will be perfect for me when I briefly resume Winter when I go to California in three weeks.

Hats.

Here's a few Hat People that generously allowed me to photograph them.

I asked one lady who looked a little like a more grotesque version of Eddie in 'Absolutely Fabulous' if I could photograph her . She was head to toe designer-logos: Huge Dior sunglasses, LV silver logo dangly earrings, TWO LV shoulder bags & Dolce & Gabbana jeans. She must have been in her sixties. Not that I'm criticising because that's exactly where I'm heading.

I went up to her & smiled & asked if I could take her photo.

'Why?' she asked.

'Oh, for my blog', I replied.

'What's a blog?'

'You, know, The Internet'.

She kind of begrudgingly agreed & I scampered back to the stall to grab my camera.

Sadly, when I came back she said that she had decided against it because the Sour Woman in the next stall had informed her that I could be 'making money' out of her.

'No problem', I said.

I do love the contrast between the Frank Sinatriness of the hat with the Hippy Peasantness of the cheesecloth blouse.

That's twice in this entry that I've mentioned Peasants.

I'm sure there's an interesting contrast or a juxtaposition going on in the photo above, but I just can't find it at the moment. It must be time for Bed.

This lady, looked an absolute knockout.

So did this one.