Shoes in Real Life.

I just had to show off some v. cheap shoes. I came across them last friday for one dollar at a clothing stall that 'Bednobs & Broomsticks' thrift store has out in the street twice weekly. Of course I'll probably never wear them. 

Actually, I Will Make an Effort to Wear Them because I've made a commitment to  having a hint of Slight Sluttiness in my everyday appearance from now on.  It may bring good luck.

I'm not sure why I posted the photo of my genuine vintage 'Saks Fifth Avenue' Young Elite Shop shoes that I bought at the Salvation Army Depot in Thousand Oaks California last July. I think it was to show off the label which you can hardly see. But you get the picture, don't you?

Room 101

By now, many of you would have completely forgotten about Mr. Ex-Middleaged. And some of you may never have heard of him. 

I don't blame you. I haven't mentioned him lately. But now it's time I did.

Here's the Executive Summary: Nine months ago, Mr. Middleaged (as he was then known) quite suddenly & unexpectedly left me after fourteen years. We had had a successful blended family with his two boys & my daughter who are now all in their early twenties. But by this time, we were Empty Nesters.

In his haste to leave, Mr. Ex-Middleaged (as he then became known) left behind a number of interesting looking bottles. I left them exactly as He had left them rotting in the bathroom cabinet. I also left the few remaining 'Gant' & 'Brooks Brothers' business shirts hanging in the wardrobe, as well as a whole bulging drawer of 'Calvin Klein' & 'Hugo Boss' underwear. It was a bit like when a child dies & the parents leave their bedroom exactly as they had left it. 

But last week I was suddenly driven to completely clean out the bathroom cabinet. I don't know what came over me, but whatever it was, I loved it. It was such a Cleansing Almost Rite of Passage.

I was going to turf out the bottles. But they looked so gorgeous, I couldn't bring myself to to do it. Plus, some of the bottles still had stuff in them, like the Tom Ford Perfume which is the black bottle next to Superman. Personally, I can't stand the smell. It Smells Smug.  But it was expensive. 

So, I decided to keep them on a shelf in the bathroom as a Homage to Scented Men. I've placed some of my favourite action figures around them just to give them a context. I just love that Smarmy Prince Charming from 'Shrek' who's sitting on top of the 'Calvin Klein' deodorant. But my personal favourite is  Ron Weasley from 'Harry Potter' who seems to be threatening the John Varvatos bottle.

And here's some more Recent Decorating Touches.

I just love Shop Dummies. I'd love to have a whole room of them to display all my necklaces. Now that's something to aspire to!

I bought the slimline torso a few weeks ago at the second hand shop across the road from 'Bednobs & Broomsticks', my Treasure Trove of a thrift shop. I hope it's not overkill. It's in my bedroom.

And below is a Homage to Fake featuring a combination of fake flowers bought at a two dollar shop & the real thing. I bet you can't tell the difference. Of course, I couldn't help but show off the view of the tail-end of Sydney's CBD from the window.

The Elegance of Sockettes

I'm just dying to mention Susan Boyle. But I'm Almost, but Not Quite too scared to because I might say something that someone might reprimand me for & I'm particularly Thin Skinned.

I hadn't heard of Susan until MBF Marge mentioned her, urging me to watch her singing performance on uTube  in front of Nasty Judges  Simon Cowell & a Token Blonde Stick Insect, & some other Smarmy 44 year old Male. 

Like many others, I nearly choked when I saw her. It's not that I'm not used to seeing people with grey hair & muppet eyebrows. I mingle with them all day. But I'm not used to seeing them on TV. See, I'm just as Shallow & Brainwashed as everyone else. 

Apart from having to endure endless closeups of Simon's changing facial expressions that went from eye-rolling to ecstatic like he'd just seen a Miracle Unfolding, I found the whole thing rather exciting. You see, when I was twelve, I became obsessed with Barbra Streisand in 'Funny Girl'. I got the Soundtrack for Christmas & spent literally Years & Years of my life on the floor of my bedroom playing it on my Stereogram. Or maybe I just called it a Record Player. My favourite part was when as the Ugly & Rejected Fanny Brice, Barbra came out on stage in an empty theatre & belted out 'I'm The Greatest Star'. I'm not ashamed to admit that I still know all the words. 

'I'm the Greatest Star, I am by Far, but No one knows it'. 

So I see Susan as kind of like Barbra. Or Fanny. 

Which of course, brings it all Back to Me. If you look closely at my feet in the photo you May Notice that I'm wearing Sockettes. And they're Not Matching. I know in the US they're called another name which sounds nothing like what they are. Something like Lupins or Toddies . Obviously, sockettes are a far more Sensible & Appropriate Name. Anyway, I'm wearing them. Nasty colleagues have made disparaging comments about them. Peter, the owner of 'Zinc', my local cafe, sniffed at them this morning. But I absolutely love wearing them. They protect my poor little feet which incidentally were v. cold this morning. I had to have them that way because the shoes which are genuine vintage probably from the late sixties from 'Saks Fifth Avenue' bought at the Salvation Army for four bucks, are so narrow that I can't wear them when my feet are hot & puffed up. I can only wear them when my feet are cold.

Anyway, I'm sure Susan would wear sockettes & wouldn't worry either.

The Grateful Grabber

Some months back I Discovered Gratitude.

It's not that I didn't thank people before, although I was always bad at sending thank you notes as a child, something I still feel a little guilty about, & I'm wondering if that's the reason that my Godmother  dropped me after I turned 21. 

But I never much thought about actually Being Grateful. I just grabbed as much as I could.

Nowadays, I'm still a grabber, but a Grateful One.

It all started when a colleague at school told me that her mother writes down five things that she's grateful for every day in a special book. I immediately loved the idea & began doing it myself. And, when a few months later this woman had some kind of Brain Aneurysm & nearly died I was undaunted. Admittedly, I stopped doing it for a little while, but since I found out that Oprah does it too, I'm Back on Track.

So I'm posting these snaps taken freshly today by my Default Schoolgirl Photographer Happy, to show off my Magnificant Houndstooth 'Simona' coat which was given to me by The Duchess' Mother- in-Love, Joy.  Thank You Ladies. Such a wonderful thing !

The Hierarchy of Men

Yesterday, someone (Darla) noticed that I'd written on the whiteboard 'Hierarchy of Men'. She wondered what I meant.

Yes, it does sound intriguing, doesn't it? What could Unlucky In Love Middleagedteacher be telling a pack of Back-achingly Bored seventeen year old girls about Men?

'Girls.....if there's one thing I want you to remember in all the myriad things that I've taught you is that there's such a thing as a Hierarchy of Men. The Man at the Top, for example, Jeremy Northam shown in this photo in his role as Mr. Knightley in 'Emma' is  Such a Man. Perhaps Richard Armitage as Mr. Whatsisname in 'North & South' is another. But  Colin Firth as Mr Darcy is the Exemplar.

These are the Men you must aim for Girls. Don't accept anything less.'

Of course I didn't say anything of the sort. I was just ranting on about Men in 'Emma'. 

But as I was writing that little imagined piece of advice, it occurred to me that that was exactly the sort of Ridiculous Mumbo Jumbo that passed as Received Wisdom when I was young. Stuff like,

' You can tell the character of a Man by the quality of the shine on his shoes'.

But now I've started to think more about The Hierarchy. I can see hundreds of men, all standing on top of  each other's shoulders, perhaps with a slight lean to them, looking like A Human Leaning Tower of Pisa. 

Who would be placed in the middle? Maybe Reliable Chartered Accountants and Suburban Dentists. 

And what about the Bottom? I shudder to think.

Over at my flickr photostream I've revealed my New Obsession. 

Michele Obama. And it's about time too. Jackie's Dead & I've Got To, repeat Got To Move On.

So every day I trawl through NY Mag's online Michele Obama Look Book  to devour more images of her so I can pretend to Shamelessly Copy.

You can see in the photo above that I'm Shamelessly Copying Mobama Arms. I like to call them Mobarms.

And look closely at my newly shaped & tinted eyebrows or should I say, Mobrows. Aren't they adorable?

Sadly, I think that I'd look like Hilary Clinton if I stood next to Mrs Obama, although I'd never be seen dead in a 'Slack Suit', or are they called 'Pantsuits' now? What I mean is, I'd look little next to her, although probably not quite as little as the Incredibly Shrinking Queen of England looked next to her. 

The Sartorialst Hits Sydney & Doesn't Take My Photo

The Sartorialist is in town. Do I have to go through who or what he is or what?

Let me summarise in as few words as possible: Scot Schumann is Possibly a short man (not that I think tiny men have power issues or anything) who rules over the world's most popular street fashion blog. He takes photos of lots of Middleaged & even Slightly Elderly Men who wear dapper  bespoke clothes that can look, a little, dare I say, Silly. Then he takes photos of Fashion Insiders of both genders generally smoking outside some Exclusive Fashion Event, like 'the tents' during NY Fashion Week or Paris or Milan or even Sao Paulo. Honestly, You can bet your bottom dollar that at any given week it's  'Fashion Week' somewhere in the world. I was hoping that because of the 'Economical Downturn' (a phrase used by one of my twelve year old students) that 'Fashion Week' might be shelved in favour of 'Thrift Week', but no such luck.

Here in Sydney & of course Melbourne, which is really the Home of Australian Style it's Fashion Week, so He's Here.

That's a Long Summary. But let me assure you, Every Word was Needed.

So, Scot & his camera positioned himself in probably the daggiest parts of Sydney - near the Opera House & the Harbour Bridge. Here's a photo showcasing one of his most popular looks - Towering Inferno Shoes & Big Black Statement Bag. 

Meanwhile, in another part of Sydney Harbour, I was slaving over a Hot Whiteboard even though only yesterday I was at home sick with a Mild Case of Pig Flu.

In the photo, I'm struggling to find some poor student's work that I can't find because I'm really thinking about the wonderful Toy Chanel Quilted Handbag on the desk that my friend & colleague, Princess Pip just bought back from a Place that Makes Them . 

What is it about Me & Toy Chanel Bags? What do they mean, I wonder?

Don't ponder too hard because I'd like you to click on the image of me standing next to the board. Next, enlarge it so you can see the wonderful Faux Sixties Op Art pattern on my newly-thrifted coat dress. 

Sadly, I know that even if I was walking past The Sartorialist, he wouldn't stop me & ask for my photo. So, I'll just have to keep getting my students or me to do it instead. 

There's always a way around everything.