Friday, November 30, 2012

Oh! I Longed to Live a Life Like That!

As I type, I'm sitting in a v. steamy classroom while  Year 7 (not my own class) are watching a film on The Nativity featuring a v.v. young Mary who looks about twelve.
 I was shocked.
But I've just been assured by a learned member of the class that in fact, the film is 'historically accurate' because Mary actually was thirteen when Jesus was born.
Who knew?

What I really want to talk about is to tell you about an Art Exhibition that I'm in this evening in Sydney, opening at 7 pm. I know it's a bit far, particularly if you're from Outta Town, like Canberra or Berkeley or perhaps somewhere in Indiana, but I just thought that I'd let you knows it's on.
I don't know much about the show, except that it's organised by a friend of mine, Kim Holten & that my fellow exhibitors are also Women.
Over the past few weeks I've been busily painting these little paintings of  Angst-Ridden Schoolgirls who of course bear little or no resemblance to the Happily-Well-Adjusted Ones I teach In Real Life.

Ever since I was a young child, I was obsessed with stories of English Schoolgirls who all merrily boarded the train together at the beginning of each term loaded with hockey sticks & Tuck Boxes full of  fruit cake & Orange Fizz & Jellied Eel which they scoffed down on their way to some OldeyWorldey Boarding School with leaded paned windows & ivy growing up the walls.
These Independent Young Things never seemed to be particularly bothered by Interfering Parents & in fact the only adults that featured in these stories were: The Stern But Fair Headmistress,
 the Mysterious French Teacher
amp; the Bullying Games Mistress who may be doing something unpleasant like smuggling on the side.
 And perhaps the Kindly Matron who bathed their wounds when they were hit in the shins by Verity, The Resentful Prefect on the lacrosse field.

Oh, I longed to live a life like that!
In my World there were far too many Meddlesome Adults ruining everything - Fascistic Parents featuring an O'erbearing Mother who used to hit me over the back of the head if she caught me licking my knife during dinner. Hateful Nuns who hit us on the palms of our outstretched hands if we got a word wrong in the Daily Spelling Bee. Dyspeptic Nun music teachers who rapped us over the knuckles if we hit a wrong note. Not to mention the Mad Mother Superior  who called me a 'Supine Spineless Jellyfish' just because I wouldn't dob on my friends. I was quite shocked when, after Superior Nun called me that, I ran to the dictionary to look up the word 'supine' to discover that it meant 'reclining'. I guess if you're a jellyfish you're always lying down.
The Schoolgirls in those stories were never bothered with such things.
Nay - they were far too busy planning Midnite Feasts in the Dormitory or hunting for ghosts or smugglers in the Medieval Ruins that were conveniently located next to the school.

Anyway,I like to think that the Schoolgirls in My Paintings are those Schoolgirls.

But I've just looked at them again & I've realised that they are not.
Sadly, they're just like Me.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Every Woman Has a Story

I can't remember the last time I uploaded a video. But I'm uploading one now.
I made it myself & it was shown tonite at the school's Annual 'Snippets' Film Festival.
I'm not exactly sure if you could call it a film because in it no one actually moves or speaks.
It's just a series of still images which are collaged photos of students that I've taken at various events over the years with backgrounds I made.
It only goes for three minutes of so.
Why not watch it?

Monday, November 5, 2012

Please Don't Touch My Beetroot Stained Top

 Hello. It's Monday nite.
 I'm sitting on my couch desperate to hop into bed. But before I do, let me v. briefly walk you through My Exciting World which is full of boxing in the Park, making unexpected finds on the side of the road, cooking with Kale & other ingredients whose exotic names are too too difficult to pronounce, wearing animal prints to school & discovering that half the staff room are also in various shades of Animal Print, watching Joan Crawford films & marvelling at her jewel like appearance & lastly, finding intriguing notes left by Disgruntled Students in the classroom.
As Obama often says, "What a Week!"
BTW, talking of Obama, I have been closely following the US Election & am now  sick to the stomach worrying that Michelle's Arms won't get re-elected.
 I wonder if the Obama's are also sick to the stomach with worry? I can't imagine it. Not that I know them personally.
By way of contrast, look above at My Arms taken last thursday after a strenuous session at Boot Camp at Yarranabee Park in Sydney. I'm proudly holding up a vintage game of Chinese Checkers that Madge, a fellow Boot Camper spied on the side of the road.

Note my Authentic Head Sweat Band that I'd wrapped around my wrist instead of my head because I feared that it might give me a headache. You can never be too careful, can you?

Next up is part of last nite's Sunday Nite Dinner Extravanganza. As anyone who knows me even remotely knows, every sunday nite I host a dinner that is part-eating & part viewing. So far, we've viewed three series of Made Men (I couldn't help but keep in that delicious typo), one hateful series of True Blood & two series of Boardwalk Empire. Currently, we're on to The Newsroom which by the way is compelling but no one seriously behaves like that at work even in a newsroom.
As part of the eating section of the nite,  Every week I try to include some ingredient that I've never used before.
Last week it was frozen broad beans that I microwaved before throwing in a salad of fresh asparagus, mint & fetta.
Last nite it was a Salad of Kale & Quinoa which was a Brand New Donna Hay recipe taken from her new Recipe Book.
Doesn't it look scrumptious in the picture above, particularly with AJ's hands lovingly tossing it?

 It was disgusting.
If I were a Tweeter, I would have Tweeted Donna to tell her. But I'm not. So I won't.
Look above at the enormous quantity of Quinoa tantalisingly prounounced Kinwaa that Donna said to cook. It was waay too much. Even if you were obsessed with the stuff you're not going to want to shovel in vats of it in one sitting.
I must admit that I was a Quinoa Virgin until now. To me it tastes like soft but still Slightly Crunchy Pebbles. Not bad.
But don't get me started on the Kale which I believe is v. popular with Cows. Apparently, they love it.

 Now to Joan who I adore & I don't care about the coathangers anyway. I took this little snap of her from the TV last saturday nite. It was taken from a gorgeous looking film called 'Ice Follies of 1939'. I only watched the last ten minutes of it on mute so I'm not sure if Joan actually Ice Skated in it, but she looks so wonderful in that outfit & the large green cocktail ring is to die for.
Oh, I ache for those Eyebrows!

 Here I am today trudging home from from school in a Terrible Wind. That's why I have my eyes closed & my hair is a trifle messy. But I'm not one to complain particularly in the wake of Hurricane Sandy.
My black & white striped Napoleon bag is my new Lunch Pail. Note I'm daintily holding it because it contained the remnants of lunch which by 4pm was smelling a little off.
The cerise shoes are Bruno Maglis from 'Bednobsetc' & so is the dress which sports a New York Label. Am desperately channelling Anna Dello Russo with the Big Blingy Toy Gold & Diamond necklace with a large lion's head pendant.

 And now to the Mysterious Phenomenon of Coworkers Wearing the Same Colours/Patterns to work on the same day. This is a v. well documented phenomenon in Our Staff room. e.g - everyone comes to work wearing , Shades of Grey, dare I say on a tuesday like we planned it in advance. And then maybe Shades of Beige the next day. And then on Friday, everyone's in Black.
It's like Magic.
Here I am above with the Beautiful Rosetta Stone who is wearing Animal Print pants & I'm wearing Animal Print tights. Talk about being On the Same Page. At least Sartorially.

 You can get a closer look at my animal print tights in this photo above which shows me flat out miming someone furiously typing on an imaginary keyboard. God I work hard.

I'm leaving you with this Important Message which perhaps you can barely read. And neither can I.
It was in a classroom. A student had spilled beetroot over her Sports Uniform top which I think would have actually improved it but she clearly didn't think so. So, She tried to rinse the stain out &  laid it out to dry on a desk with a sign saying, 'Please don't touch beetroot stained top'.
Someone who was clearly Not in a Good Mood that morning placed a Passive Aggressive Smiley Face on the note with the words, 'Please don't tell me How to Live my Life'  underneath.