Friday, June 29, 2012

A Sudden Rush of Smug

Thank God I'm on Holidays.
Look above at me taken towards the end of last week, the day before the Last Day of the Term.
It's my Best Tired Budgerigar Look . You just can't fake a look like that.
And clearly I'm misreading the days because  my outfit, screams Disco Friday and it was only Thursday. I can't believe that I got up in the morning & put on that jacket. And then threw that Tired- As-An-Old-Rag- Scarf around my neck.
As soon as I saw this photo, I tore off the jacket & threw it in the Garbage.
Talking of Garbagy Clothes, this week I read a scathing critique of  Modern Dressing by some Fed Up American Journalist called Elizabeth Kline, who in the Huffington Post said that Michele Obama doesn't dress well because she buys environmentally questionable disposable outfits from shops that stock cheap imports. Shame on her because she should be setting the standard for Ethical Dressing, said Kline.
I certainly didn't say that. I wouldn't even think it.
But I do admit to being overcome by A Sudden Rush of Smug as soon as I read the article. Go read it yourself, I kindly & uncharacteristically provided a useful link.
As some of you or perhaps one of you might know, I don't buy new clothes, although I do admit an occasional liking for Cotton On & their  v.v. cheap oversized tee shirts. In fact, I had one on today that you'll later be able to glimpse.

Oh dear, I'm having Layout Problems again with this Blog Post. The photos have kind of rearranged themselves & now Blogger won't let me type where I wanted to type. I do hope you can follow.
It would be a Tragedy if you couldn't.

Anyway, where was I? OH yes, back at school in the photo on the left. It was the Actual Last Day of Term & even though it Actually Was Friday, I mercifully decided NOT to turn it into Disco Friday, alhough I did attempt to flirt with a new male member of staff  at End of Term Drinks , but he probably didn't notice & just thought I was Brown Nosing instead.  Which I sort of was. It's my default position.
I'm wearing a Muppet Collar  which I bought many years ago at H&M NYC.
 Oh, how I ache to go there again! Tyler, my stepson is there at the moment working for a Psychopath in the Fashion Industry & living in a cozy shared apartment in trendy Williamsburg where all the young men except him are walking around with Big Beards with no Mustaches & looking like they should be living in Log Cabins.
So, I'm not in NYC, but on Monday I was in The Next Best Place - Parramatta Westfield.  (For anyone who is an OutofTowner, Parramatta is a suburb to The West of Sydney's CBD)
My great friend Trixie Drew drove me out there for a Special Treat. Of course we stopped off at my favourite Jewelry Store, Diva, where sadly they were having The Butt End of a Sale, throwing out such Must-have items as Playboy Bunny charms & diamante encrusted knuckle dusters. I couldn't find a thing to buy.
Note I'm wearing what appear to be Pants. Usually I never wear them for a Multitude of Reasons that can be summed up with Short Legs Big Bum. I absolutely loved wearing the thrifted from 'BednobsEtc' jacket that was from NYC but sadly also had a 'Made in China' label. Luckily, I didn't buy it new or I'd be in that feisty Journalist, Elizabeth Kline's bad books. Quelle Horreur!

Recently, when Channel Surfing, I briefly watched a documentary about the Best Fashion/Beauty Inventions of all time. I was shocked to hear that the invention of Dry Shampoo was right up there with the invention of the Little Black Dress.
Why was dry shampoo such a Big Deal, I wondered. Most people have working bathrooms with running water & shampoo & conditioner & even blow dryers, don't they?
But then I realised how sick to death I am of washing my hair. I must have washed it millions of times over my lifetime & it still looks greasy the next day. I think I've earned the right to wash it only when I feel like it.  Oooo, I am sounding a little Hilaryesque, aren't I?
So, I bought some dry shampoo. It took me a while to decide between the Tropical Coconut Variety & the Vanilla. I eventually went with the Tropical because I particularly love coconut in cakes. My colleague, The Other Sue, drinks Coconut Water every lunchtime which I think is rather faddish. But that's a whole other story.
Anyway, here I am this morning in the photo above just after I had sprayed my hair with it. It Looks & smells just like a Coconut. Yum.

Just after I photographed my Freshly Coconutted Hair I took this photo of part of my bed.
I do love my Union Jack pillow cases  which remind me of Vivienne Westwood. They're just for show because I'm afraid that if I sleep on them, I'll dribble all over them. And then they'd be ruined.
I also love my newly-thrifted from 'BednobsEtc' woolen blanket even though it only fits half the bed.

 Talking of 'BednobsEtc', my great friend AJ photographed me in there today wearing my favourite Flanelette Dress holding  a Real Not Toy Chanel Handbag. I nearly wet myself when it appeared. I had dreamed of, prayed & yearned for this moment for years! And it finally arrived!  My excitement was undiminished even when AJ loudly declared that the bag was 'on it's Last Legs'. She also queried my credentials in being able to identify a Real from a Toy Chanel.
How does a Mother Emperor Penguin tell her Offspring from all the other seemingly identical Baby Emperor Penguins, you may ask? It's the same thing.

 I took a close up of the bag when I got it safely home. In the photo, you can't see all the cracks in it. A bit like my face when photographed at a distance under good lighting.
It's even got its Original Tassle. And the Double C logo has got a 5 engraved on the side. I've never seen that before. And all the zippers, inside & out still zip. What a bonus.
I had been tempted to rush out & purchase the newly-revamped Coach Willis Bag that has been launched for Coach's 70th birthday. But now I won't. I'll settle for the Ten Dollar Chanel. Even though it's a little chipped. We make a good pair.

I was soo excited after I bought the bag that I had to take myself off to the New South Wales Art Gallery to have a look at the Biennale & view the new Re-Hang in my striped 'Cotton On' top. Apparently, when an art gallery rehangs their permanent collection these days, it's a Big Deal.  I'm not sure why.
Anyway, I couldn't help but photograph myself in a mirrored artwork. Note my Union Jack iPhone case. Maybe the Union Jack will become my Signature Emblem. Pity I'm not The Queen. Or even English.

I was intrigued by a display of ten tiny log cabins that were made from cardboard or some kind of paper by an American Indian artist called Alan Michelson. It was part of the Biennele which I don't seem to be able to spell properly but I'm sure you know what I mean.
I was particularly thrilled that I took this photo because there was a sign up forbidding photography which I cleverly didn't see until after I had taken the photo.  I think the photo is particularly charming because it appears to having a little rainbow running down the roof of the log cabin.
Not now, but some other time I'll tell you about my utter hatred of being told I can't photograph something I want to photograph because it's a sacred site or its a privacy issue or a copyright issue. Or some other issue. The world was easier before Issues Were Invented.

But I'm determined not to end this rather long post on a Sour Note. No, I'll leave that to Mrs. Victor White, the subject of this adorable painting by Australian painter Roy de Maistre from 1938. It was donated by her three granddaughters in 1972.
Mrs. White reminded me of my own Grandmother who was still wearing Whalebone corsets in the sixties.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Just Like Me, Teacup Pigs Cry Real Tears

 Hello & Welcome to My Queen's Birthday Long Weekend.
What a week!
As well as marking 97 exam papers & then another 89 exam papers, I had a full schedule keeping up with the Queen's Jubilee.
I sailed along the Thames in the Royal Barge with Her Majesty as she stood for hours & hours at the helm. I wondered if I could stand for that long. I certainly couldn't do it without complaining. Or at least sneering.
I felt Slightly Squeamish at the sight of Paul McCartney's Freshly Dyed Hair at the Royal Concert & wondered how all those years ago, I could have screamed into a cushion so my parent's couldn't hear me when I listened to him singing 'All My Lovin'.
I cried when Prince Charles began his speech to his mother with 'Your Majesty......Mummy'.
And I wondered what on earth could be done about Prince William's massive Bald Issue. Sadly, I couldn't come up with a Remedy. Perhaps Military Caps.

Not satisfied with all the excitement of the Jubilee, midweek I squealed with delight when discovering The Teacup Piglet. I'm sure that they've been aeronautically engineered or whatever you call it in a charmlessly disgusting way & that Pig's Rights Activists are up in arms, but it still doesn't stop them being cute.
Look at the photo above, & you'll see me fondling a couple of Teacups who just happened to wander into the classroom at the v. moment when I was giving a lesson on Futility & The Human Condition. Note I'm wearing a vintage Italian Wool Knit Dress by Spinelli that has a small hole in it.  Yellow is supposed to be Big Right Now. Sadly, I was wearing Black Undergarments which showed through & spoiled the effect somewhat. But luckily, the Teacups didn't notice.
One Startling Fact about The Teacup: Apparently, they cry Real Tears

I'm having quite a time with Blogger right now trying to organise
the photos & the text. It won't let me do what I want to do which sounds like a Microcosm for the Rest of my Life.
So it's Not MY Fault that everything is a little Higgledypiggledy in this Blog Entry. But maybe it always is.
Anyway, follow my Easy Directions & you'll get the General Gist!
Look above at the Two Photos. They are linked.
On the left is a gift of a beautiful bangle I received in the mail yesterday from Thousand Oaks Ca. It was from Bernisse who is on the left of the photo on the right.
 Are you with me?
Recently, Bernisse was in Italy & became acquainted with the Designer Brand 'Furla'. Knowing my penchant for Upscale Designer Brand Merchandise particularly if the Brand Name appears on the item, Bernisse purchased the bangle for me & sent it inside the little Branded Carry Bag that it came in.
I was thrilled! If you look carefully, you can see that 'Furla' is stamped on the bangle.
Now go back to the picture on the right. That is my BFF Marge who is wearing a dress which she describes as a Bandage Dress. It is from 'Anthropologie' & they call it, a 'Bailey Dress'. I'm not sure why. After David Bailey the photographer or perhaps Christopher Bailey, the creative director of Burberry?
Anyway, the dress looks great on her. Who would have thought that a dress that fits like a bandage would be so flattering? After all, you don't look at a person's bandaged limb & think how smart it looks, do you?

Now, go back to the photo of me Smugly Posing in a 'Simply Vera' by Vera Wang long cardi that I purchased at my favourite shop, 'BednobsEtc' for under $20.

As usual, I'm getting to the end & I can't be bothered telling you about my outfits.This always happens.
 One item is an Ungaro. Another item is a Diana Von Furstenberg. I'm sure you can work out which ones which.
 It's early Sunday Evening & I have a pot of Gravy Beef  on the stove that I'm cooking for hours & hours & will eventually become a Tasty Soup to serve to my Sunday Nite Mad Men Dinner Guests who will arrive in the next couple of hours so I must go. But not before I tell you how Rivetting Series Five is. But maybe you know this already.