My Life as an Absessed Tooth

Denial

Dear Amigos

It is such a shame that I have a v. strict policy of 'Never Explain Never Defend' because if I didn't, I would begin this post by explaining to you why I haven't posted for what seems like an Age.

Instead, I will just simply say that I have an Absessed Tooth.

I suppose you guessed already because of the pictures which I took myself.

They show all the various Shades of Me as an Absessed Tooth.

In the first photo above, I am imitating a knarled tree in order to distract myself from the Pain.

It didn't work.

The Dawning Realisation.

In the next photo, above, I have seriously moved into Ennui as the realisation has just dawned on me that I Will Have to Go to the Dentist.

Luckily, the dentist, 'Dayman Dental' is conveniently located right next door to my apartment building. Sadly, he is v. expensive. But then everyone tells me that ALL dentists are expensive.

And I absolutely can't put this off. Half of my face has Slightly Ballooned, accentuating my Naso-Labial Folds and making me prone to dribbling.

Libina, my Nasty Colleague says that I look like I have Bell's Palsy.

But none of my students noticed.

An Overdeveloped Gag Reflex.

Here I am above, after I've returned from 'Dayman Dental'.

I'm feeling dazed & slightly embarressed because My Gag Reflex went into overdrive when the dentist tried to shove something in my mouth when he was x-raying it. I just couldn't help it. But the dentist looked utterly disgusted.

Another thing to feel ashamed about.

Lightly Dribbling.

I went to the dentist.

He put me on Double Doses of Anti-biotics.

I'm still slightly swollen & lightly dribbling.

Tomorrow I go back to have the Rogue Tooth extracted.

I hope the dentist plays Michael Buble on his Dental Sound System during the procedure. I know Buble sounds like he's reading from the Phone Book when he's singing a Love Song, but I think that he's the Perfect Accompaniment for a Tooth Extraction. I only hope I can hear over all the drilling.

Oh, even though Pain Prevented me from catching Joan Rivers' 'Fashion Police' this week, I've still got Absolutely Oodles to tell you. And its all worth telling. I promise.

But not now. I have to finish watching a documentary about 'The Importance of Being Earnest' & then take an aspirin & then fall into bed.

But one of the things I will preview is about my Clothing Stall with The Ex-School Nurse that's coming up this sunday at The Rozelle Markets. Please come & visit us if you live nearby. We are going to be conveniently situated close by to a tree slap bang in the middle of the market. I already have some pictures to post as we went to the market last weekend to pay for the stall.

Just like Dr. Frankenfurter, I'm 'trembling with Anti-ci-PATION.'

Too Good to Send

I've been desperate to design & sell my own personal greeting cards for some time.

Like years.

I would just love for the Entire World to be awash with my cards.

The thought of running a Large Greeting Card Empire from my desk in the Classroom fills me with glee.

But do you think I could do something like that?

Sadly, up until now, No.

Not that I have any immediate plans to set up the Empire at present.

But so far the Practical Details of doing such a thing have eluded me . It is far easier for me to stand in front of the whiteboard rabbiting on about how Alfred Hitchcock bullied all his blonde leading ladies & how after she shot the shower scene in 'Psycho' (which I'm showing to Year Neuf tomorrow), Janet Leigh could never take another shower again. In fact, she died without ever showering.

Don't think that I'm dissatisfied with my job. Who could fail to have a Sense of Daily Purpose when such Important Information needs to be conveyed to the Youth of Today. What could be more important?

Perhaps saving the planet.

But failing that, I'd like to have a Card Empire. I've even made up a name. I'm not going to tell you what it is in case you might want to steal it because it's a Great Name. Not that I don't trust you or anything.

Practical Considerations that Seem to Be Beyond Me.

1. Printing Cheaply but Beautifully.

2. Getting Cheap but Beautiful Card Paper whatever you call it.

3. Making a Profit.

Anyway, here's a card that I made.

Hope you like it.

Life is All About Priorities

Just recently, I've experienced some Pleasant Surprises when visiting the homes of Old Friends who I've sadly neglected for years & years & am now desperately trying to suck up to. The surprises have been around walking into a room in their house & suddenly discovering an artwork by me hanging up that I'd forgotten about. 

Last sunday I visited the wonderful art deco apartment of my old friend Jeni & her partner Mitch. Upon walking into their fabulously renovated study, I discovered the collage painting above, hanging over the mantlepiece. Of course, I immediately wondered if they'd quickly dragged the picture from the back of the cupboard & put it up just moments before I arrived. But I decided that I'd Let That Thought Go for once & just enjoy the thrill of seeing it.

You may or may not be able to read the text - Life is All About Priorities. It shows a merry group of Society Hobnobbers from the 50s relaxing in the front driveway of a House that has been severely earthquake damaged. 

I thought that this Silly Picture summed up my Current Mood & perhaps the moods of many of my fellow Australians right now. The death toll from the bushfires in the state of Victoria in South East Australia has just reached 181 & will probably rise to 200 by tomorrow morning. The charred remains of a family of three have just been found in their bath where they were sheltering. Hundreds & hundreds of people have lost everything , but the mood in the makeshift camps where people are gathering is one of gratitude to be alive. 

It certainly puts my little worries into perspective.