OMG Not Pig Flu!

Today, fresh from the Queen's Birthday Long Weekend, all anyone had to say  in the Staffroom was, 'OMG Pig Flu!'

Note the Pig in the Food Photo above, taken on Sunday evening at my weekly 'True Blood' dinner. How's that for tying everything neatly together? 

Staffroom/Pigs/Weekly Dinner/Pig Flu. And for once the text & the accompanying photo Almost, but not Quite, Match.

And the contents of the photo all neatly tie in together too: I put bacon in the Sad Little Shrunken Meatloaf featured in the foreground & everyone bought food in the same Bacon Tonings which sent Black & White, the poodles seen below, into a frenzy. They spent the entire night frantically pacing the ground underneath the dining table & sniffing like I imagine Specially Trained Gastronomique Dogs do when hunting Truffles.

By the way, I could never eat a Truffle because they are way too Rare & Expensive & the whole experience would be wasted because I would be thinking of the cost, not the taste.

Back to the Staffroom.

Today, Aunt Neddy had an Uncharacteristic Day Off which led people to start talking Pig Flu. And then, my neighbour in the staffroom, Libina, expressed concern that her daughter who is say, eleven, has got Pig Flu symptoms which sounded v. like Ordinary Flu Symptoms to me. And now I'm feeling a little choked up , or is it clogged up? 

I've just taken two 'Disprin' , a brand of aspirin fed to me constantly by my mother when I was a child which is now my v. favourite Drug of Choice. 

So here's hoping I don't have it.

Never Cast Aside Like a Sucked Orange

Now that Season Two of 'Mad Men' is finished, don't think I've fallen into a Black Hole.



No. There just was no time for a Vaccum to be felt because immediately the time slot was filled with Season One of 'Pure Blood' or 'True Blood' or Whatever it is. It sounds like a show about the Ku Klux Klan. But it's not. It's about the quest for Vampires to be accepted as a normal part of the community with voting & property rights, just like the rest of us.



It must be called 'True Blood' because of the TB initials on the amazing Experimental Plum Pie that Moniker made in honour of it's first Screening.



So, every sunday evening is now filled with a big sumptuous dinner made by my Pals who don't have Cable TV followed by 'TB'. (BTW, Moniker did realise the rather unfortunate associations behind the initials)
We watched Episode 2. I had to cover my eyes for about a third of it as there was blood all over the joint & lots of sex. I'm such a Delicate Creature.
But all my guests were transfixed.

I'm fond of Venn Diagrams. I always marvel at their Elegance & Simplicity, something that I'm always shooting for in My Own Life.
So, if I was constructing a Venn Diagram to explain Vampires, there would be three circles all laid on top of each other. The bottom circle would be labelled 'Vampire'; the next circle,'Sex' & the last circle, 'Violence'.

It's a heady mixture. And it's one that I don't really Get.

I have never had the desire to have sex with a Vampire. Maybe this goes back to my adolescence. When I was about sixteen or seventeen ,I was continually given Love Bites by Hungry Boys. It was a nightmare because I just couldn't cover them up & My Mother would see them & Go Into a Rant. I never worried about the Nuns at School noticing them because they'd never been with a Living Human Being because they were 'Brides of Christ'. So they wouldn't know what a Love Bite was.
Anyway, they were Half-Wits. In preparation for our Senior Formal, Sister Naomi told us all that if we allowed our Partner to kiss us, even if it was a Goodnight Kiss, the boy would throw us aside 'Like a Sucked Orange'.


What a piece of advice. No wonder I've been so Fabulously Successful with Men throughout my life.
So, I don't find Vampires sexy. In fact, I don't find any Made-Up Creatures as Appropriate Objects of Desire. Except of course Mr. Darcy.

But all my guests, including my step-son Tyler loved it. And that's enough for me. Next week I'm just going to focus on the Muscular Frame of the Australian actor who plays this really really dumb sex-crazed brother of the main character who can read people's thoughts. Thankfully, he's not a Vampire.




I just had to show off one of my new earrings that Sandrabollocks sent me. Of course you can hardly see them which is an excuse for another photo later.