Monday, May 16, 2011
I Didn't Mean To Hurt You, I'm Just a Left Handed Woman
I feel somewhat tentative because I offended Someone & had to delete the post that featured them.
They said that what I said about them was Defamatory & that I must come home at nite & down a few glasses of wine & then start writing the blog.
I was shocked & mortified. I quaked in my boots. I protested loudly that I Don't Drink & Blog. And, I felt stupid that I didn't really fully understand the Defamation Laws.
One good thing, though. I now understand how a Celebrity feels when they say or do Something Inappropriate & people get mad at them & then accuse them of Substance Abuse. I could just see myself being photographed entering the courthouse for the Great Defamation Trial wearing a Slightly Slutty Dress not unlike the one that Lindsay Lohan wore for her recent trial.
But you'll be pleased to know that this Whole Awful Experience has not deterred me from putting people on the blog. See how I've put my friend The Ex-School Nurse on it? Here she is outside a v. interesting shop in Waterloo that we visited on Saturday as part of a Massive Shopping Odyssey.
Have you noticed how popular The Union Jack is as a Design Statement? It's almost as ubiquitous as 'Keep Calm & Carry On'. And Burberry Patterns. I'm sure it's a Worldwide phenomenon. Next time you venture outdoors, look around you. I'm sure wherever you are, even if you are in Alice Springs, there's bound to be someone who has a little Bit of Burberry peaking out from somewhere on their person. Or they're carrying a Burberry umbrella. Or a handbag.
I could go on & on listing all the products that feature a Burberry pattern & I could even make a guestimate as to the total number of Real & Counterfeit Burberry Patterned Items that are currently in World Usage. But I won't. OK... I'll guess the number: One & a quarter billion. I just know that I'm right.
You may notice that my Top & Bottom are Incongruous: The Top part of me looks like Polo (the game, not the brand) Matron, 1985 & the Bottom Half looks Punk Rocker Wannabe 1985. Note the curious zipper at the bottom of my footless tights. BTW, I'm now wearing high heels as often as I can. So far, I can still Walk. Or more accurately, Totter. Or Teeter.
On Saturday, we also visited 'Extinct', the perhaps Seconds Shop of 'Dinosaur Designs'. I am in love with the colours & made a mental note to stop wearing so much black.After all, my current Fashion Crush is Anna Della Russo who looks like a Male Peacock at all times, even straight after breakfast.
As I look down at what I'm currently wearing, most of it is black, although I've got a silver & black thrifted 'Bluemarine' skirt on which sounds a bit Nightclubby for a Day at School.
I thoroughly enjoyed it & feel sad that Rebecca & Darla & Zizzi & Janavi etc can't visit it because I'm sure they'd appreciate the ambience as well as the Magnificent Quince tea that was served to us in a v. grand silver teapot.
I am constantly amazed at how smells & tastes can be transported to candles & tea & soap & bubble gum & lip gloss. I'm still wondering how the hell can you stuff the smell of the Hall of Mirrors at the Palais de Versailles into a little scented candle?
But I digress. Back to the script.
'Tea Parlour' was full of little still lifes. Or is it 'Still Lives'?
Presiding over the Tea Pouring was a gigantic stuffed Male Peacock whose gargantuan plumes enveloped the whole place. Now, that's the second time I've mentioned Male Peacocks in the one post. Clearly, just like Aileen's clothes, they're on High Rotation right now.
But the stand out for me were the little clusters of Faux Fleurs that filled every orifice - from empty bottles of 'Veuve Cliquot' to beer bottles to Retro Enamel kettles to grand silver chalices. Seriously, they totally looked like Real Fleurs. But Amelia, the gracious proprietor, assured me that they came from Go-Lo, which is incidentally one of my favourite shops. Of course, I went there yesterday & bought a whole mess of them for my own 'Still Lives'.
Time to go, but before I do, please read 'Reader Rita's comment in the previous post about Steamers. It's worth it. Also got to post a pic of me in my DVF Wrap Dress.
Oh......one more thing. I desperately hope I haven't Offended Anyone. If I have, I Sincerely Apologise. And I apologise for all those Careless Throwaway Comments that I've made over the years. I didn't mean it. I'm just a Left Handed Woman.