Tuesday, November 1, 2011

There's Nothing Fascinating About Fascinators

 Apparently last nite was Halloween. I thought that it was last friday. Clearly, no one Tricked or Treated or even Grunted around my neck o'er the woods.
The photo, above taken by Maeflower, was the closest I came to Halloween if you don't count the five or so houses I drove past in my car sporting windows dripping with Enormous Fake Cobwebs that only a spider the size of a rottweiler could build.
In case you're wondering what the photo is of, I'll now tell you:
They're a Little Gaggle of Witches Fingers Cookies baked by M.Flower in honour of Halloween. I wonder what the correct Collective Noun is for them?
A Wand of Witches Fingers, perhaps? But maybe it's fairies who wield wands & not witches. I'm not sure.
A Cauldron of Witches Fingers? That's more like it.
Sadly, I didn't get to taste them, just to look at them via iPhone, so I can't tell you what they were made of. AJ, Maeflower's Godmother thought that they were broad beans filled with jam. What a Lame Guess. My money is on Marzipan with an almond as a fingernail.

 OK, so we're done with Halloween.
Next up is the Melbourne Cup. That was  today. I remembered this morning as I was trotting down the hill to school when I gazed in the window of 'Booty', the local shoe shop & I saw the Toy Horses. Of course, I immediately felt Inappropriately Dressed because I wasn't wearing a Fascinator or some hideous Floral & Feathered Headpiece which would accentuate my resemblance to a parrot.
But perhaps you're From Outta Town & are not familiar with The Melbourne Cup. Every time I go to LA I'm constantly asked by any number of sales assistants & waiters if I'm from 'Outta Town'. How do they guess?
Anyway, if you don't know, The Melbourne Cup is a boring Annual Horse Race that the whole of Australia supposedly stops for at 3pm on the first Tuesday of every November. I certainly don't stop for it. In fact, today at precisely 3pm I was ordering two takeaway lattes from 'Zinc'.
Even though it's in Melbourne, Sydney likes to pretend that they're part of The Melbourne Cup too. Women all  wear Fascinators. Work places have Sweeps. And there's Big Boozy Lunches that go into the Nite.

This, above, is what I did today instead of attending a Big Boozy Lunch. It was much more fun. Note, I'm wearing a thrifted Real Diane Von Furstenberg silk wrap dress that sadly has a 'Made in China' tag on it, which Slightly Cheapens it for me.  The big gold chain that could be mistaken for something a large Boxer Dog might wear came from a Toy Mark Jacobs handbag. The scarf is a Toy Hermes. But I'm Real.




2 comments:

see you there! said...

A fascinator? A boozy lunch? I'm sorry to hear you passed them up because I'm sure you would have shown us some great pictures.

Meanwhile I really like the wrap dress, cheap label and all.

Darla

ReaderRita said...

OOOh, I quite like "A Cauldron of Witches Fingers! We just came up with a "startle" of bats (rather than the old boring "colony" of bats) as our preferred descriptor for use during the Hallowe'en season. It seemed to please all involved, as I'm sure "A Cauldron of Witches Fingers" would have, had I known of it in time to bandy that it about. Next year!

I will admit ignorance about the Melbourne Cup; but why is it peculiar to all horse races that women don some manner of embellished floss upon their noggin? I am truly baffled.

Though I am not baffled but rather supremely impressed by your Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dress, regardless of where it's tag was made! (Et voila! A way out of your China-induced melancholy! Ha!)
A dress which, incidentally, looks completely lovely on you. I am desperately envious!
I saw a DVF hanging all beguillingly at a Sax Fifth Ave once when I was younger. I just had to touch it, in spite of the glare from the saleslady, who no doubt knew that the dress cost more than my rent at the time. The "hand" was incredible. That silk jersey is such a delight.