Thursday, December 22, 2011

As Much as Possible, Happy Holidays

 Hello & Welcome to a V. Quick Holiday Show & Tell. 
Here above is my Holiday Card to you. I hope you like it. I have unwittingly used Advent Colours as I must be unconsciously plugged into the Catholic Liturgical Calendar. All these years working at a Catholic School is finally paying off in Undreamed of Ways!
I'd totally love it if you found a way of passing this card on to your friends & loved ones. I'm sure you have many of those. At this time of the year people love to talk about how they hate Xmas & how everyone behaves weirdly & fights with everyone & then they moan about how commercial it is or how meaningless it is because they're not religious & it's too hot to eat turkey or they're allergic to shellfish  & they've always hated plum pudding & anyway they're on a diet.
I personally Adore Plum Pudding. In fact, as I type, I have a homemade one stylishly wrapped in a smart designer tea towel sitting in the fridge made for me by my friend, The Ex-School Nurse. I will not be serving it at any of my Xmas Celebrations because I plan to eat the whole thing myself over a number of weeks.

 Of course the School is now shut for the Holidays. And not a moment too soon. All year, I have valiantly attempted to behave like the Now Deceased Queen Mother (my Behavioural Role Model)  at school which means  sucking it up & waving & smiling at everyone when I really wanted to smack many many people across the face with a Wet Flounder. Sadly, the pressure of doing this day after day starts to build up.
Luckily, I had an Escape Valve, or whatever it is that allows you to let off steam & show your true emotions in a Safe Way. It was a simple Twelve Days of Xmas Staff Decorating Contest which I embraced with gusto. Because I rarely, if ever win anything (although I did win a $25 David Jones gift voucher at the Staff Xmas Luncheon) I didn't win the contest. I am not blaming this on the fact that a v. Elderly Nun judged it.
Nay..... who could ever compete with the Perpetually High-Fiving & Whooping Sporting Department who turned their staff room into Santa's Workshop complete with a log fire projected onto the wall from someone's computer?
I, of course, sensibly used my absolute Favourite Action Figure Dolls - Action Men who always look Festive whatever the occasion.

 One thing I've never told you is that since childhood, I've always wanted to be able to do the splits. Sadly, even as an eight year old I couldn't. That was one of many disappointments that were to follow.
Like not being able to water ski the first & only time that I tried.
Or hula hoop.
Or sing like Dusty Springfield or Barbra Streisand. At least I have a nose a bit like her.

 Here I am celebrating my new Holiday Decorations featuring Poitsettias, chilis, blue sparkly Xmas leaves & some Plastic bananas & grapes. Everything, just like me is, Holding Together by a Mere Thread.
But at least we're still standing.

 And here's some of my Sunday Nite Regular Dinner Guests. Carlotta is taking the photo. We're all pretending to laugh. You'd never know.
AJ is channelling Emanuelle Alt (French Vogue) & I'm trying to brighten up my thrifted Wayne Cooper black lace dress with huge shocking pink earrings. Hunter & Tyler look their usual Uber Wonderful Selves.

 I found an old Xmas Card sent to me by Jackie O lying around at home. I'm going to re-send it to Peter, from my favourite Potts Point cafe, Zinc as he so loves Jackie.

Lastly, I couldn't help but show you one of my Fairly New Pastimes - photographing pages from books in bookshops with my iPhone using  the More Lomo app. I do love the thrill of capturing the picture whilst  the sales assistant is not looking. This page is taken from a fab book which is in every book shop at the moment.  It features Meaningful Quotes from The Wizard of Oz.
You could live your life according to that book & I'm sure many people do. There are probably thousands of Wizard of Oz Self-Help Groups dotted across the Globe in many strange & unlikely places. Like perhaps near Scott's Hut in  Antartica.


Rebecca said...

Had I been judging, my dear, you would have won the contest. Oh, well....

BTW, that thrifted Wayne Cooper black lace dress shows off your wonderful forearms. I think that even our first lady would have bicep envy! (Is that what those muscles are? I really don't know my anatomy at all.)

Merry Christmas. I think I've missed a few of your posts. Not sure why. I'll catch up!

My word verification for this post is "poompots". There's a message in that word, I think...

see you there! said...

Very festive! No one stages a hunky action figure better than you do.

I used to enjoy holidays more when it meant time off work. Now that I'm retired they just interrupt my nap schedule.

Still, there's usually alcohol and chocolate so it's not all bad.

Merry Christmas to you and your Merry Band.


Anonymous said...

I'm so glad to see you again. What a relief.

Happy New Year.

ReaderRita said...

Firstly, good tidings for a fabulous New Year to you and your loved ones!
Next: love the Action Figure Diorama Christmas! Delightful!
...and, is it my eyesight, or does that note from Jackie say: "So much love to priory at Christmas"?
I mean, we surely can all find some love for the rehabilitation centers around this time of year, but...