My mind is full of Slight Little Worries that I ache to list now but I won't because I think it would test the limits of even the most Eager Reader.
So instead, why don't I distract myself by walking you through A Pictorial History of Sightseeing in Los Angeles & Ventura County?
Look above at this Ungainly Portrait of MBFF Marge desperately trying to squeeze into an old woolen dress straight out of the early eighties or even earlier at The Salvation Army Depot at Newbury Park. Both of us were seduced by it's label - I. Magnin,which was a High-End luxury Department Store in Southern California. Marge & I are suckers for luxury. You only have to look at us to know that.
Although I was thrilled that unlike Marge I could actually get the dress over my head, I was not so thrilled that the buttons were a little tight. Too many In-&-Out-Burgers and Gingerbread Lattes from Starbucks over the Holiday Season as they call it here.
And, and ... how Matronly am I willing to go in the service of Age Appropriate Dressing?
We turfed it back on the rack & moved on to Fresh Fields.
Talking of Age Appropriate Dressing, Marge couldn't resist trying on this completely reversible Jean Jacket that was lined in what looked like real Fur. We couldn't exactly place what type it was. Perhaps Fox. Or maybe Hamster.
Even though it doesn't look like it, we did manage to make a few purchases. But crazed with the adrenalin that only Thrift Shopping can create, we moved on to our next Shoppe - The Jewish Women's League Thrift Store in Santa Monica.
Here's Marge, below, again demonstrating the Powerful Effects that Hat Wearing can have on the Middleaged.
I, of course kept well away from Hats & confined my relentless search to tastefully Age Appropriate Dresses that sadly I couldn't manage to zip up. You can see me discreetly trying to do this in the middle picture above in a darkened corner of the vast store.
Note that I never bother with actually taking my clothes off in a change room. I just put everything on over whatever it is that I'm wearing. If it's tight even with layers on clothes on underneath, I know that it will be tight without them. I know it sounds strange, but it's kind of true.
But words almost, but not quite, fail me when I wish to describe The Jewish Women's League Shoppe. Why don't I just simply list the brands: Ferragamo, YSL, Prada, Ralph Lauren, Donna Karen sprinkled amongst the usual Coldwater Creek, Merona, Target & my personal favourite, Sag Harbour. What a name? I know it's got zhooshy Patrician East Coast overtones, but who wants to buy anything with the word 'Sag' on the label? It's too close to home.
But the Big Coup of the day was the Suede & Snake bag that Marge is gleefully holding up like it's a Huge Marlin she's just freshly caught off the coast of Maine. Or perhaps Nassau.
I was the one who actually spied it hiding in a mess of the usual sadly discarded bags of Questionable Provenance. I liked the classy gold hardware & it looked like Real Suede & sadly, Real Snake. But I'd never heard of the brand. Onna Ehrlich.
We inquired the price.
We thought about for awhile like we were weighing up whether or not to buy a computer or a Marc Jacobs bag, but decided in the end, what the hell, throw it in the basket with all the other stuff.
Much later at home whilst I was resting, Marge burst into my room & informed me that after a little consultation with her iPad, she had discovered that Onna Ehrlich bags sell for like, $700.
We were shocked.
Without a Hat. We took this picture outside a Starbucks mainly because we wanted to capture the gentlemen in the v. old Mercedes just behind her that of course you can hardly see. He was wearing a cravat & smoking a white tipped cigarette. We were kind of intrigued by his Oldey Worldey Charm.
Note Marge is wearing her usual Matching Cuffs & old Handbag that I've been urging her to turf out in favour of using a Small Posse of Different Handbags to suit Different Looks, even though style guru, Simon Doonan doesn't approve of that. He thinks stick to one bag. How could someone who was the Style Director for Barney's who are choc-a-block with Designer Bags say that, I wonder?
Downtown Los Angeles that I totally loved. I'll now have to switch to Numbered Points, my favourite text type because I've just realised the time - 11.45 & I must start packing because we're going out to have my Final Mexican Meal of the trip followed by a session looking at photos of us when we were young.
1. Downtown - mixture of old 150 high buildings straight out of Raymond Chandler & high glassy skyscrapers.
Biltmore Hotel, downtown LA.
3. Biltmore site of eight Academy Awards including first one.
4. Stayed for hours.
Old Aunt who's been wheeled out for the day for a special treat sitting up having Afternoon Tea in the Rendezvous Court of the Biltmore. Only we decided to have lunch - soup & Caesar Salad & Diet Coke (my usual LA lunch).
7. We loved the lifts & played in them for some minutes.
8. Thought about Bette Davis getting into this lift.
9. Look a little like v. old Airline Stewardess.
11. I saved $430.
13. Loved Christmas Lights. Very kind to our faces.
15. Realised that turning the flash on makes us look years younger.
16. Must pack.
17. Must go back.
18. V. Sad.