Look above. You can see Everywoman's Style Icon, Audrey Hepburn being fitted by Salvatore Ferragamo himself in a pair of shoes that look a little Nun-like to me.
And Audrey herself doesn't look too pleased with them judging by the look on her face particularly in the second picture.
But what would I know?
On second thoughts, I look more like I'm performing my daughter's favourite childhood song, "I'm a Little Teapot, Short & Stout" which is infinitely more apt.
Who can forget those Immortal Lines, 'When I get all Steamed Up, Hear me Shout!
Tip me Over, Pour me Out!' ?
For months, I ached for a pair of them to arrive at 'BednobsEtc' in reasonable condition.
And as I have a Flexible Attitude towards shoe sizes, I wouldn't have even minded if they were a size bigger.
No problem. I would have simply worn innersoles & if I was still slipping out of them, I would have stuffed the ends with tissue paper. I've done it before. And I'll do it again.
Sadly, in spite of Massive Visualisations, where I imagined in my Mind's Eye a pair magically appearing on the shoe rack next to a bedraggled pair of Nine West's, none came.
Time passed.
Existential Shoe Ennui set in. I just had to face the fact that I was not powerful enough to summon a pair of used Ferragamo Varas to the Op Shop. That's what they're called. Varas. I think that was Salvatore's daughter's name. But perhaps I'm venturing into Too Much Information Territory, a place I often visit.
And there was no way I could justify buying The Varas brand new as I actually bothered to trudge into the Ferragamo Shoppe in Sydney & Quelle Horreur, they were v. close to $600.
Then one day, a pair of Bruno Magli patent shoes with Gold Discs on the front which collectively spelt out the name 'Bruno Magli' arrived. You can see them below in the last photo.
I immediately became excited. Clearly, the Universe thought that I was better off with the Brunos.
And who am I to argue with the Universe?
They seemed a little roomy so I asked my Poor Sorrowful Cobbler who always seems to be in a permanent state of Quiet Desperate Misery to insert innersoles as well as re-sole them. He did.
I was All Set.
And then I wore them.
At first they were OK. But then, the next time I wore them, it seemed that they'd considerably widened in the interim. In fact, I had to grip on to the sole of the shoe with my ferocious toes to keep them on as I struggled down the street.
I decided to see this as A Sign.
So I consulted the Internet.
Within minutes I had managed to locate them at a fraction of the price on what appeared to be the Ferragamo Online Outlet Store. Only $158? How could this be?
But then when it came to nominate my size in the drop down menu, I was gripped with indecision.
I hadn't bought a new pair of shoes in what seemed like eons.
And, strange as this may sound, I suspected that my feet had Actually Grown over the past year or two which I had weirdly blamed on my flexible attitude to shoe sizes.
What you do is, go into a Real Bricks & Mortar Store with Real things to buy that you can actually feel & try on.
You select what you want & then pick up your mobile device & buy it online.
That's exactly what I did only I waited until I got home to buy them.
It was the least I could do.
I can't really understand why the Varas were so much cheaper online. But then, there's loads of things that I don't understand.
Like how the can opener works.
But that's a whole other story.
