Monday, April 28, 2014

Never Too Matchy Matchy

Like most loud women, I've always been a fan of Joan Crawford.
Admittedly, I went through a stage that lasted about fifteen years of loathing her after I first read Mommie Dearest & then saw the movie.
Who could ever forget the chilling opening sequence where Joan , played by Faye Dunaway is shown washing her face first thing in the morning from a massive sink full of ice cubes?
I can't imagine any of the beauty gurus of the time like Elizabeth Arden or Max Factor or even that arch-punisher, Helena Rubenstein recommending doing anything like that.
So she must have made it up herself - The Masochist's Guide to Achieving Non-Saggy Skin Over a Certain Age.
Maybe I should try it.
But far more train-wreck gruesome were the photos featured in the book & of course brought to life in the movie of Joan & her adopted daughter, Christina wearing identical outfits.
Perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad if both of them were wearing a simple black sheath under an ocelot coat or a mink stole, but it was always something truly pukey like matching pinafore skirts awash with frilly bits & bows. And character shoes & sox. Perfect for a six year old, but not for a film star over forty.
And even though it was all smiles in the photos, you could tell that they hated each other's guts.

Take a moment to seriously study the photo I've generously provided, below & you will see what I mean.
Then after you've done that, look at the photos taken at Easter of my daughter, Maeflower & Me. The only thing that links us to Joanetc is our matching outfits in both pictures.
In the first one, we are both wearing identical shirts sadly in a synthetic fabric by Peter Morrisey for Big W. He used to be a big name Australian designer who is now reduced to designing for Big W but maybe that's not such a bad thing if people like Jason Wu currently design for Target. Not that I'd recognise a Jason Wu if it knocked me in the face with the coat hanger it was hanging on, but I thought I'd drop his name to make me sound like a Fashion Bligger. Oops, I meant Bloogger.
Blogger. I think it's time for bed.
But before I do, I must alert you to the v cozy matching slippers also from Big W that we're wearing. They have a kind of Alpine feel to them which is apt because Canberra at this time of year is v nippy particularly at nite. In fact, I slept in them.
After that, we couldn't keep the Matching Outfits at bay. They became a force of nature & there was nothing we could do to stop them. The next day, we found ourselves sniffing the roses in the garden out the front of Old Parliament House with matching grey tops & black bottoms.
One last thing, as hard as I tried, I could hardly smell a thing from the roses.
Are roses losing their perfume as a result of global warming, or is it just my nasal passages?









4 comments:

janavi said...

Actually I remember reading that ice was good for the face. I think maybe Katherine Hepburn did it as well.
I might have tried it myself at some point.

jazz said...

I sended you a hidden FB message. check it out, della

amystic said...

Missing your posts! where are you?

Coastal said...

Please let us know what happened. I see fans from all over the world are still checking the blog and are concerned.
Peace and love.