Monday, April 7, 2014

The Right Kind of Powerful For Me.


Rarely, if ever do I want to be anyone else. Usually, I couldn't be bothered.
But just lately,as I trudge down the hill to school each morning, I've been wondering what it would be like to be really really powerful.
And as I trudge, I compile a list of powerful women who I could become.
So far, it is a v v short list.
Desperate for inspiration, today I turned to my almost favourite class of 16-17 year olds in Year 11.
They know everything, I said to myself, they'll give me some names.
Oprah.....Still?
Ellen because everyone knows who she is without having to use her surname.
Michelle Obama. Really?

What about some Australian examples, Girls?
Everyone immediately yelled out Gina Rineheart. Or maybe it's spelt Rhinehart.
I was shocked. But of course they could be kind of right.
World's richest woman.
Hates welfare recipients.
Most of her children hate her.
Maybe hate is too strong a word. Perhaps, resent.
Desperately needs a makeover. But the same could be said of me.
Fail.

Like the highly trained performing seals that they are, the girls kept on rolling out suggestions until they became hoarse.
Foreign minister Julie Bishop. Lockjaw.
Cate Blanchett. Far too universally admired.
Ex- Governor General Dame Quentin Bryce. Too perfect. Hair a little bit too neat.
Governor of New South Wales, Marie Bashir. Overloaded with gravitas.
Best Supporting Actress Oscar nominee or perhaps even winner, Jackie Weaver. God no.
And on it rolled.

Finally, I had to admit defeat. Hate to say it but no Aussie woman has the Right Kind of Powerful for Me.
I had to go to my old favourite, Hillary Clinton.
And I turned to what must be the most famous photo of her - one that has inspired countless memes & blog entries & newspaper articles. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because she's sitting in an Airforce One type plane texting with sunglasses on.
Inappropriate Wearing of Sunglasses usually says one of two things -
1. Trying too hard
OR
2. Kickass.
Clearly Hillary doesn't need to try too hard to do anything, so it must be Kickass.

Amazingly, I stared at the photo for so long that I actually morphed into it. Who knew I could do that?



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Above are two v recent photos of me being powerful.
It felt wonderful.
I thrifted the black ornately pleated "Preen "dress last year from Bednobs & Broomsticks.
I remember the occasion distinctly. I walked into the shop on a Friday afternoon fresh from the classroom. I boldly walked up to the "Designer" rack & pulled out the dress, noting that the label was still on it with the original price blacked out & with the new price of $15 scrawled across it. I recognised the label as one that Important Fashion People who are in the know always crow about when they're asked in Harpers or Vogue what their favourite designers are. I immediately put aside any misgivings I may have had about the sleeves looking a little too bulbous & bought it.
I scampered home to check the average price of a Preen dress on the internet.
$1000. I rarely exaggerate. And anyway, if you don't believe me, check it out yourself.
Even though I've worn the dress a number of times, I still haven't had the heart to remove the label which is silly because it's rubbing against the back of the dress & is perhaps making a small hole. Quelle horreur!

In the last dress, I'm really feeling powerful as evidenced by the position of my arms.
Again, it's another thrifted item from Bednobsetc , this time a DKNY dress which also had the label still on it. But you'll be relieved to know that I cut it off because the original price was a mere $99.
I didn't realise that Donna could be that cheap.
You may also be interested to know that it is a Mullet dress - party at the front & business around the back hemline-wise. Trixie thinks it makes my waist look thinner than all those Von Furstenberg Wrap dresses I love wearing.
She's always right.
Lastly, I'm going to go to bed soon to think about Mickey Rooney who died today who I loved in the Andy Hardy movies even though they were twee. But he was cute & spunky.
And I'm going to dream of going to school in Airforce One.
And maybe tomorrow I'll wear sunglasses in the classroom.
Kickass.

1 comment:

janavi said...

Can't believe you found a Preen dress at that price. Would never happen here.