Look above, Dear Reader.
That's how my life has been like over the past couple of weeks.
Yes, A Blizzard. An Emotional Blizzard. And you may well ask which one of the three characters I am. I'm the one in the middle, cowering into the shoulder of the other girl.
Oh, how I wish I could be more like Little Karl Lagerfeld who,when asked by an interviewer if he was nervous about an impending runway show said, 'I don't have any emotions. I have the mentality of a Professional Killer'.
Or maybe I could take Jim Carrey's advice & get a couple of Pet Penguins. He should know, because he's just starred alongside Real, Not Computer-Generated Ones in his latest movie, which looks like a Nasty Stinker, BTW. Anyway, after he made the movie Jim said, 'It's impossible to be unhappy whilst in the company of penguins'.
Of course, I was intrigued & immediately wanted to rush out & get some. Sadly, I wouldn't be able to afford the Air Conditioning Costs necessary for keeping Penguins because they require Sub- Arctic conditions in order to survive.
I wonder it Karl could live in Sub-Arctic conditions? It seems that his Heart already does.
Can you guess which character I am in the picture above? Of course, I'm the blond with the plaits. I always identify with Blondes, either Real or Fake. Except perhaps Marilyn.
Who in God's name would want to identify with all that misery & loneliness? Anna Nicole Smith did, & look what happened to her?
But for now, I'd rather say that Thank God I have Good friends that I can sit at the foot of their beds, or more accurately, sit across the table in the cafe, or in the staffroom or on the phone or on an email & whinge & whine to.. Marge & AJ & Trixie & Sue & The Ex-School Nurse & Maud. And not forgetting my precious Maeflower.
Oh God, I hope I'm not sounding too maudlin. Quelle Horreur! I certainly don't feel that way. It's saturday nite & I've got a fresh 'Fashion Police' to watch & another sumptuously steaming bowl of freshly made Chicken Soup to shovel in. I've already had one bowl, but it's Not Quite Enough.
(BTW, I am mildly shocked at the number of times I've referenced 'God' in this post. Clearly, I'm in need of some Divine Assistance)
Our Best Selves.
Last week & this week turned out to be Big Weeks. Not only did I survive an Emotional Blizzard & attend The World's Biggest Morning Tea to aid Breast Cancer Research, but I also cried buckets over Oprah.
I just couldn't stop.
And I hardly ever watched her show. God knows what I would have been like if I was A Regular.
As soon as I turned the TV on, I started weeping. By the time, Poor Sick Queen Aretha came on to belt out 'Amazing Grace', I thought that I would have to blow into a paper bag to prevent Hyperventilating with Grief.
Apparently, Oprah coined the phrase, 'The Ugly Cry', which is the cry you have when you are Seriously Boo-Hooing. I must say that I was shocked by my reaction, as I usually only indulge in a Dainty Cry which merely involves silent tears mixed with a mild frown. Perhaps some red blotches. A Slight down turned mouth in extreme circumstances.
Hopefully, an Ugly Cry is Youth Regenerating. If it is, I'd certainly indulge in it more often. In fact, it could become part of my Beauty Regimen.
But my favourite part of the finale was a segment featuring a young female high school teacher in her classroom. She told us that she'd used Oprah's shows countless times over the years with her students to teach such diverse topics as The Civil Rights Movement, Terrorism, How to Keep a Gratitude Journal, High School Shootings & How to Ensure Your Poop is 'S 'Shaped (or is it 'L' shaped?) I have never taught any of those topics . But I did suddenly remember what I use from Oprah.
It was the idea of Your Best Self.
Some years ago, I had an lack lustre Year Nine Class. They were surly, lazy & charmless. They resented picking up a pen. When I suggested that we read 'Romeo & Juliet', they would ask, 'Can't we just watch the movie?' I dreaded going to class.
Then one day I walked in & calmly said that I wanted everyone to be 'Your Best Selves, you know, like in 'Oprah'.
A strange thing happened. Just about everyone stopped lying all over their desks. They sat up, spines straight as a ramrod. They opened their books. I smiled & instructed them to turn to The Balcony Scene.
I've used 'Best Self' many many times since then & it's amazing. It works every time. Even on me. You know they say that We Teach Best What We Need to Learn Most.
TThe Inner Wolf.
Look look above. Unlike its author, this post has a mind of its own. It won't let me type under the drawing of a wolf. And I'm too fearful to delete that annoying 'T' that's next to the photo of me in a Real not Fake 'Calvin Klein' dress in case it deletes the photo as well.
Anyway, I wanted to show you the Wolf. I drew it on the whiteboard this week after faithfully reproducing it from a picture on Google Images. I made everyone copy it into their books because we're studying a novel called 'Wolf'.
What more of an excuse do you need to draw a Wolf than that?
After the girls had finished copying it, I walked around & looked at their work. To my mild surprise, No One Wolf was alike. Everyone had unwittingly drawn themselves as a Wolf.
I'm not sure what the point of this story is, or if in fact there needs to be A Point. Perhaps I could conclude that we all have an Inner Wolf inside that is just like us but Hairy.
OH, I just remembered that book from the Nineties - Women Who Run With the Wolves. I wonder if you remember it?
I think it re-interpreted fairy tales so that the Females in them could all come out looking kind of Brave & Warrior-Like. And possibly showing how much they were done over by Men. But I'm not too sure about it. All I know is that I rather liked the idea of running with Wolves as long as they didn't eat me.
It's Always Fun Until Someone Loses An Eye.
Thankfully, the Blog Post is now allowing me to type between the last two photos. Thank You Blogger. If I had a gratitude journal, I would definitely include this in it.
I'm desperate to finish & get back to the TV. I must must find out what Sharon Stone said about Joan Rivers. And what the panel thought about Snooki's neck brace & matching Hairy Mammoth Boots.
Click on the link & have a look yourself.
But before I go, have a look at my Jewels from last week. In the photo above, I'm wearing a mess of cream bangles with text all over them that says things like 'Find Your Passion'. You can hardly see them so I urge you to double click on the image for a better look. I promise you won't be disappointed.
I'm not so sure about the jewels, below. They could be a little Too Violent & Unsettling. But I did enjoy wearing them & particularly loved entwining the glomesh snake around the spikes of the bangle. Oh, you'll be relieved to note that I didn't poke my eye out or injure myself in any way when wearing them.