Absolutely Not Skiing.
Howdy & Welcome to My Winter Holiday.
It's rare for people to announce that they're on a 'Winter Holiday', unless of course they're going skiing. And I've never skied in my life. The very thought of it sends shivers down my spine.
Think of all the accidents. And all the lost limbs. And all that cumbersome equipment you have to buy or hire & then lug up mountains or hop on ski lifts with .
I don't think I'd be capable of hopping on a ski lift. I'd lose my footing & catapult down the mountain & sustain serious Head Injuries. And then where would I be? In a Nursing Home.
And don't get me started on the Outfits. Nobody, not even The Duchess of Cambridge looks good in a Ski Parka.
No, I'd much rather sit at home & watch back-to-back episodes of 30 Rock. Or trot down the road to my favourite cafe, Zinc & sip lattes. That's where I was earlier this week looking a little too much like a Wannabe Middleagedteacherbikerbabe for my liking.
Note that I am Wearing Pants. This is a totally new innovation. I stopped wearing them in 1983 after thirty years of hearing My Mother tell me that pants & especially jeans made my bum look too wide. And my little legs made my bum look too close to the ground.
Anyway, I do love the pants, even though I can still hear my Mum's voice in the background as I trot down the street in them. They're thrifted 'Bettina Liano' & are a cross between a Harem Pant & a Sweat Pant.
Harem Sweats. Perhaps I've coined a new term.
And then there's the Biker's Jacket. Another thrifted item in Toy Leather.
It's a constant battle to Dress Age Appropriately. It's like solving a puzzle or or deciphering a code or worse still, slaying the Jabberwocky. I must, repeat must, keep those Baby Doll dresses out of my wardrobe. I've got to cover up The Girls & the Upper Arms. Maybe I can show a bit of leg because the leg is the last to go. And the last thing I want, is to look like I'm Trying too Hard. Heaven Forbid.
In my last entry I announced my love of grafitti, although I was at pains to say that I am Not a Lawbreaker. Here I am in Newtown this week, after a sumptuous lunch of Corn Fritters with my friend, Dark Star Maud. Dark Star is always on the lookout for Fresh Grafitti & this one, which adorns a rundown squat had only been painted the day Before. Talk about being On the Cutting Edge!
You'll notice that I'm still wearing the Harem Sweats but thankfully without the Toy Leather Biker's Jacket. This winter, I've totally embraced the jacket. It's my desperate bid to emulate Emanuelle Alt, the editor of 'French Vogue, although I look nothing like her.
A small Accessories Point: If you double-click the image you may notice that I'm wearing Big Elephant Tusks around my neck. You may be relieved to know that No Elephants Were Killed so that I could wear their tusks. They're plastic.
Romance is Born is the name of an Australian designer clothing brand specialising in V.v. colourful one-off items that perhaps are made from antique kimonos & velour cushions & old tassles maybe with a motley fur stole thrown in. You can see what I'm talking about if you scroll down a couple of photos. Their website proclaims that wearing one of their items is a 'Clothing Experience'.
Of course, my current 'Clothing Experience' is a Sea of Black & Occasional Navy. The most colourful I've got this week is to wear sequinned horizontal black & white stripes which have slight Bumble Bee overtones. Perhaps you could say that my clothing label, if I had one, would be called, 'Romance Was Dead or better still, Romance Was Dead Until I Met Someone Suitable. I bet Tina Fey would've come up with a better name than that. I must, repeat Must, stop being envious of her. And I must stop wondering about Alec Baldwin's marital status. As if.
We're now moving into The Chanel Part of the Blog.
Don't you just love this painting of Coco? I found it in a book on Chanel at Ariel Bookshop in Paddington, & of course, whipped out my iPhone & took a photo, careful that the shop assistant didn't see me. Perhaps I would make a good Spy after all.
Concierge!) generously took the photo. Note I'm holding my Daily Second Latte.