Thursday, July 21, 2011

Between Two Artichokes

 Well Hello.
It seems that I was so overwhelmed by Wearing Black all Holiday that I forgot to post anything. Perhaps Persistently wearing black, leeches, or is it, drains all the creative juices out of people?
If that is true, it would certainly go a long way to explain Karl Lagerfeld.
I'd love to say that this Marvellous Post will make up for it, but sadly, I know that it won't. I'm far too tired & distracted by watching a v. young Van Johnson in a movie called, 'Between Two Women' which may as well be called, 'Between Two Artichokes.
 In it, Van plays a v. young doctor who cures  an equally v. young Gloria de Haven of 'Neuro-psychological Self-Starvation', which is what they called Anorexia at MGM in the 1940s.

I was so bedazzled by the fabulous array of sparkling white Toy Doctor & Nurses uniforms that the entire cast wore, with the exception of Gloria who was dressed as a Slightly Trampy Nite Club singer, that I had to take a photo to show you.  BTW, Young Dr. Van is on the left. Wouldn't you just love to be fussed over by that lot when you about to have say, a gallstone operation? I know I would.

 Here I am at The Seaside. You'd think that this would be a Holiday Snap.
Sadly, it isn't. Believe it or not, I was Actually Working whilst I was posing for this photo.
Pourquoi, you may inquire? A beach is not a Classroom & even if it is, where are the students?
Surely I wasn't attempting to teach passerbys? Or a rogue seagull?
Certainly not.
In fact, I was at a Spirituality Retreat that the entire staff went on just before the girls came back to school earlier this week. I was sent  down at the beach  to see if I could See God in All Things, to quote St. Ignatius Loyola.
You'll be pleased to know that I almost succeeded.
Note I'm wearing something that almost, but Not Quite, looks kind of like an Edwardian Mourning Outfit, but perhaps I  am deluded. I didn't intend for this last bit to be in large writing, but it won't stop.
Important Notice: OMg. This blog is a Complete Mess. Just then I stupidly pressed the 'enter' button which deleted the photoof me next to grafitti which should be here. Then I re-added it, but now it's at the Top of the Post. Please please scroll back & look at it.

 Have I ever told you that I love Grafitti? My friend Dark Star Maud led me to to this new Outcrop in the back streets of Newtown last week when I was legitimately on holidays. I was thrilled at the tiny stencilled girl with the Parasol. Please note the large Louis Vuitton bag. Since  I bought it last week at 'BednobsEtc' for forty bucks, I have been in a Total Lather because I convinced myself that finally this time, I had cracked a Real Louis, not a Toy Louis. The Leather Trimmings actually look & smell like Real Leather & The Hardware, as  the little brass knobs etc are called, all had 'Louis Vuitton' stamped on them.
Besides, the Bag had a Certain Air of Gravitas that no other bag I've held has ever had. I even swaggered into a 'LV" shop in Westfield with it dangling off my arm & confidently said hello to the smiling assistants, like I go in there all the time.
But over dinner at the Spirituality Retreat, my supportive colleagues started casting doubt over the bag's Parentage. To prove them wrong, I consulted Google between courses. After a short search, I found a short movie called 'How to Spot a LV Fake'. The Earnest Presenter spoke with the urgency of an expert who was informing people on how to Spot a Communist during the 1950s.
There's a whole raft of tell-tale signs, none of which MY Bag exhibited. But then, just before the end, she said that the LV initials in a Real Bag never had stitching on them or were in a crease. No, LV was sacred.
But not on My Bag.
I was crushed.

 Look below. I've wearing my best Drum Majorette Outfit to greet diners at my favourite local cafe, Zinc.

 And here I am back in the classroom after the Spirituality Retreat doing my best Tea Cozy Impersonation.
 Note I'm Partially Wearing black.
Had a great holiday. Watched 30 Rock, made Apple & Strawberry Custard Crumble for my sunday nite dinners, wondered if Kate Middleton was really too thin, swooned over Vaughn Willliam's 'Lark Descending', read 'Women in the Background', an only partially satisfying novel by Barry Humphries AKA Dame Edna, downloaded the Glee Cast version of 'Born This Way', wondered about Alec Baldwin's marital status, toyed with the idea of opening up the lid of the piano & dusting the keys before playing a tune & revelled in wearing my Toy Ugg Boots, but never outside. In fact I'm wearing them now.


Elegancemaison said...

This post leaves me gasping with admiration. You calmly covered so many topics while grappling with Blogger up to its random font changing and other tricks. I salute you for just ploughing on and letting your post appear 'as is' in the face of Blogger's attempts at sabotage. I usually scream, rant, then delete and try again later by which time my blood pressure is dangerously high. How much better to just go with the flow. I shall try to emulate you in future!

see you there! said...

Goodness, a spiritual retreat? I don't know. I think it would throw my whole persona out of whack.

Great beach photo tho.


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janavi said...

I think the LV bag is close enough.
EVERYONE in Switzerland carries LV or Hermes. I have a toy Botegga Veneta, which I hope looks real enough.
Interesting comments about black being draiing- may be true.