Saturday, August 20, 2011

Love Hurts

Hello & Welcome to the Inside of a Bag of Slightly Used Clothes.
Yes, that's where I feel I am speaking to you from this late winter's evening.
You see, it's Op Shop Time of Year again.
But, you may ask, isn't it normally Op Shop Time Every Day of the Year for you, Della?
For me personally, yes. But Certainly Not for The School.
For the past few years in late August, I've been organising a Fundraising Op Shop Parade & Stall at the school. I'm not entirely sure why I do this because I'm not known for my organisational skills & I rarely if ever make lists which is what I think most Splendid Organisers do.  I also have had a strong belief that I am bad at getting people to do things because I was once sacked from a job in a boutique  because I didn't sell one thing in a whole entire day. Also, I have been spectacularly unsuccessful over many years at getting students to do their homework. And they never even bother trotting out an excuse like the dog ate it. Occasionally, though someone might say they left it at Dad's House in a bid to make me feel sorry for them. Which I don't.
So, in spite of the fact that I'm a Lousy Organiser & I can't get anyone to do anything, I'm running this Big Fundraiser.
First, I had to cajole students to bring in Donations of  clothes to showcase in the parade & then ti sell the next day. I did this by getting the Principal to agree for the Op Shop Parade Day to be a Mufti Day, which in case you don't know, means NO School Uniform. The word 'Mufti' is a Sacred Word at my school & it's spoken in hushed tones. As if a whole boring day schlepping from one draughty classroom to the next is going to be Magically Transformed because you're allowed to wear your own Ugg Boots & jeans while you're doing it.
(BTW, as I type, my poor little feet that have been punished all week by my slavish insistence on wearing high heels are luxuriating in  Toy Ugg Boots. If Feet Could Purr, they'd be doing it right now )
Anyway, The Principal said to the Entire Student Body at Assembly, 'No Donations. No Mufti'.
'No Mufti?' echoed through the crowd. Quelle Horreur! You'd think that she'd announced that Lunch was cancelled for the rest of the year.
The next day, the Donations began to pour in.

The next thing I had to do was to cajole girls to be Models. You'd think that in these days of  'Australia's Next Top Model' & all those other reality shows, that everyone would be totally gagging to strut down a Toy Catwalk to the tune of Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way'. (Actually I'm planning to use The Glee Cast version. It's just that tiny bit tamer).
Absolutely Not. All they want to do is Hair & Makeup.Or be a Stylist. No one wants to Model because everyone is going to laugh at them because they're Stupid Looking or their Bum's Too Big or both.
(BTW, if you want a good My Bum's Too Big in Jeans story, read Reader Rita's own true story in the comments of my last entry. Not only is it entertaining, but instructive)
Again The Principal was wheeled out At Assembly to say, 'No Models. No Mufti'.
The next day sixty girls signed up.
The Parade is on next thursday & the following day we're selling the donations during lunch time. Last year, we made over a thousand bucks in about twenty minutes. Beats the hell out of a Sausage Sizzle.
Hopefully after then I may return to normal. Or should I say, Normal For Me.
If you're at all wondering what that might be, take a look at this v. brief video I took (or is it 'made'?) today in the Clothes Sorting Room at BednobsEtc, a room I'm not normally allowed to venture into because a Disgruntled Customer complained that I was going in there & getting Preferential Treatment by seeing the clothes before they came out into the shop.
I wasn't. But I'm  still barred from it.
Anyway, in the video, a small Plush Toy Dog is singing 'Love Hurts' which is a more or less accurate enactment of My Normal Internal State.

video

I hope you bothered to watch it.

 I'm getting v. sleepy & am desperate to hop into bed. And it just might be cold enough for me to wear my Toy Ugg Boots to bed. What a treat if it is!
You can see that I'm angling to finish up & not bother walking you through what I'm wearing in the photos. I'm sure you can work it out for yourselves, although I'll point out what appears to me to be The Bleeding Obvious:
1. A Persistent Black & White Theme.
2. Persistent Pearls.
3. Everything either given to me or thrifted at Bednobs.
4. Bangles with text on them. One of them says 'Hope'.
5. A plastic pin in the shape of a red mouth.

 Some quick points before I go:
*Found it hard to eat the capsicum I paid $4.32 for. In fact, it spent over a week languishing in the fridge before I could bring myself to eat it.
*In spite of bananas being $14.99 a kilo, I still bought one that I used to make little Banana Butterscotch Puddings for my Sunday Nite dinner. Hunter, one of my Regular Guests said that he didn't agree with another guest who claimed that Expensive Bananas were contributing to The Current Inflation Rate. Because he loved & appreciated the smooth taste of a banana, Hunter gladly pays $2.00 or more for the privilege of eating one. I applauded.
* I have Definite Proof that European Style Kissing -i.e.  kissing on both cheeks, is not only Annoying but Dangerous. This evening as I was going up the escalator from Harris Farm Market, a local friend saw me & jumped on the escalator. I turned around & he kissed me on one cheek & then unexpectedly went for the Other Cheek. I was so Unprepared & Put Off by having to quickly snap into gear with this that I suddenly fell backwards & landed on my butt at the top of the escalator. All the staff came running. I promptly assured them that I wasn't going to sue the shop. They went back to their jobs. I limped home.

Before I go, here's The Ex-School Nurse & me taken last saturday at BednobsEtc. Until I saw this photo I thought that I looked fab in the thrifted 'Morrissey' oversized cashmere sweater. Sadly, it looks Slightly Potato Sackesque. E-SN looks very sporty in what she originally thought was a jockey's cap. It wasn't. But it looks great anyway.

4 comments:

Rebecca said...

Oh, I miss you in between posts. And when it comes to "leaving my comment", I am lost for words. It's hard for me to dignify your posts with appropriate response.

Suffice it to say, in the outfit department, I find your selections pleasing - but then I'm a great fan of black and white.

I think bangles with text are most interesting and HOPE this one serves you well in the pre-OP stage.

Mufti. Another whole WORLD opens to me with THIS one! Do you know the etymology of the word itself? I shall read it with the same respect as it is spoken in the school halls!

Best of luck in recruiting models.

And seriously, (if you haven't already) find a publisher for your writing! It is SO entertaining.

Rebecca said...

Oh, I miss you in between posts. And when it comes to "leaving my comment", I am lost for words. It's hard for me to dignify your posts with appropriate response.

Suffice it to say, in the outfit department, I find your selections pleasing - but then I'm a great fan of black and white.

I think bangles with text are most interesting and HOPE this one serves you well in the pre-OP stage.

Mufti. Another whole WORLD opens to me with THIS one! Do you know the etymology of the word itself? I shall read it with the same respect as it is spoken in the school halls!

Best of luck in recruiting models.

And seriously, (if you haven't already) find a publisher for your writing! It is SO entertaining.

Rebecca said...

OK. You can delete one of the duplicates - or not. The extra # might look good on your comment tally.

Trixie Drew said...

I Like the cashmere sweater - it screams casual weekending. Like something from St Elmo's Fire? I don't know why I make that connection but I do. The Preppy look perhaps? And like Rebecca I too miss you in between posts.

ps I hope you didn't hurt yourself too badly after the fall.