Hello & Welcome to Me.
But where do I begin?
Do I start with telling you what I'm actually doing & why I'm doing it in the first three photos (& sadly, it's not having a facial) ?
Or, do I start with what I thought about last nite's Oscar Red Carpet & which dress I personally would wear?
Actually, none of them. Imagine me walking or perhaps, stumbling into the classroom in Armani Prive or stupid Marchesa looking like an Elderly Feather Duster? (If you want to see what I mean, look at a pic of Kirsten Wiig) & holding a silly bead-encrusted Judith Leiber handbag the size of a pill box (I mean, where would I put my iPhone & my Whiteboard Markers?) & not to mention, the Mandatory Manolos, or perhaps Jimmy Choos.
Or perhaps I could start with a Loud Complaint about the unbearably hot & humid weather we're finally having at the supposed end of summer. Today was 33degrees celcius & tomorrow is Officially the End of Summer. Trixie thinks that the weather will begin to get less humid. No it won't. It'll keep on like this for Months & months.
Nay, I'm not going to start with any of those Topics.
Instead, I'm going to Walk you through my Current Jewellry Collection.
But before I do that, let me tell you My Philosophy de Bijou:
1. I don't really lust after Expensive Jewels as long as I can get the same thing as a Fake. (e.g. I almost bought at Diva for five bucks a brilliant copy of The Duchess of Cambridge's engagement ring which of course was originally was worn by her Mother-in-Law, The Princess of Wales)
2. Apart from a few old rotting diamond rings left to me by Dead Relatives, I don't own any 'Good Jewelry'. And I don't care. Je ne regret rien spelt badly.
3. I regard Swarovski Jewelry as twee & loathe the idea of their tiny crystals adorning anything I would wear. I would not, however, criticise you if you liked them. It's just a matter of personal taste.
five bucks. I rarely go above twenty.
5. My favourite jewelry shop in Australia is 'Diva' & it's sister shop, 'Lovisa' ; my favourite one in the US is the Stupidly Named Forever 21.
6. I love wearing bangles etc with text on them.
7. My favourite word on a bangle is 'Hope'. It says Everything as far as I'm concerned.
(A Brief Segue: As I type, I'm watching Maestro Daniel Barenboim play a Beethoven Concerto on TV & I'm marvelling at how a man with hands that look like Pig's Trotter's can produce such a beautiful sound)
8. I love Enamel bracelets. They remind me of 'Hermes'.
9. I love wearing lots of the same things together. Take today, for instance. I wore three black rings. And two black chandelier earrings. And two black many- stranded necklaces. Sounds like A Gothic Nightmare. But it wasn't.
10. I like to make my own necklaces & the occasional earring from bits & pieces that I've gathered.
Instead, look above at me last week holding a Blueberry Muffin, sadly Not at a resort but at a three day retreat I supervised for Year 11. I'm wearing one of my Homemade Necklaces that you can hardly see. How frustrating! Oh well, you'll just have to take my word for it that it a Wonderful Glittering Piece - all toy gold & diamantes & fake gold coins & enamel.
Note I'm wearing a v.v. layered look that I've been favouring lately - a Slightly Slutty Schaperelli Pink dress over a v. loose striped top all from 'Cotton On' with a fab pear (intentionally spelt that way) of a cross between Midnite & Electric Blue footless tights from 'Forever 21.
Ahhhhhh.......I do love the words, 'Midnite Blue'. It takes me back to the late sixties when I was desperate to wear a Midnite Blue Moire Velvet empire line gown to some revolting formal that I was going to with some Sweaty Youth. In fact, I don't think I actually wore the dress. I think I maybe just drooled over it in 'Seventeen' Magazine. And maybe I didn't even go to the formal.
'Hope' bangle thrown in to Soften the Look. Note the little diamantes on the heels of my Sad Flats. Slightly reminds me of Paul Simon's song - Diamonds on the Souls of my Shoes.
Symphony of Wood in the photo above, taken just before I mounted the bus to attend the Opening School Mass. Look closely & you can see my Toy Hermes leatherlike Wristband from 'Lovisa', cut-out Leatherette Leaf Necklace & various wooden necklaces & bangles.
Lastly, look below. I'm standing next to a watertank at yesterday's Sweltering Annual Swimming Carnival at the Des Renford Aquatic Centre in a Treeless suburb of Sydney.
Note I am holding a tube of 'Kid's' Sunscreen that was inexplicably Lavender Coloured. Sadly, due to the intense rays, the sunscreen was only Partially Successful. When I got home, to my great horror I realised that I had some sunburn just below my neck . Perhaps the large red beads acted as Sun Magnets.
I'm wearing a Clever Copy of a YSL ring, bought at 'Diva' for five bucks.
It's now teeteringly close to My Official Bedtime. I hope I can stop sweating before I hit the pillow.
Daniel Barenboim's Pig's Trotters are still going & are remarkably unsweaty unlike the rest of him.