Monday, April 23, 2012

Getting Even

 Welcome Back O Reader. I do sincerely hope you are Still There. 

Perhaps you're not. But I'll pretend that you are.
 And I'll imagine that you are wondering what happened to me. Where did I go? Did I simply lose interest? Did I run out of seemingly endless Rhetorical Questions to pose to the Blogosphere? Or did I run out of outfits to pose in? Or run out of anecdotes or TV shows to bang on about?
Not for a nanosecond.
No, I simply went on a Holiday.
A School Holiday.
And a Blog Holiday.
I wish I could say that I spent the entire time being expertly massaged by a Shiastu Master & having my Chakras realigned & soaking in hot mud baths & eating delicious healthy meals made from ingredients that aren't pronounced the way that they are spelled, like Quinoa for example.( Can you believe that it's pronounced , 'Kinwaa'?) O, & slurping huge amounts of Vitamin Water & Cocoanut Water. And maybe some Lite Lipo & Botox thrown in at the end.
Sadly, as you can see from the photo taken today on my first day Back at the Whiteboard, I did none of that.

 But yesterday I did take myself & my friend AJ & a v. generous Gift Certificate she gave me for my birthday off to a shop called 'Benefit' where I kind of had a v.v. small makeover, although you'd never know it from the photo, above.  The whole experience opened me up to a Whole New World of Problem Areas that I'd previously been blissfully unaware of.
Like Pores. I had no idea that I had large pores around my nose the size of small bunkers on a golf course. But thankfully, I was able to buy a product that hides them. And a whole swag of other products too.
I was thrilled.

 But the thing I admired the most was the name of the products. Like the one above.
I have no idea what 'Get Even' does, but it wins the award for the Best Name for any Cosmetic Product of All Time in my books.
I hate to say it, but I've always yearned to Get Even. And when I first  heard the expression, 'Don't get Angry, get Even', it sounded like the wisest thing that I'd ever heard. Of course, it was 1986 & I had a Mullet. So what would you expect?
The one time in my life when I seriously tried to Get Even, it backfired on me in a big way. Full stop.
But I do love Getting Even in Movies even though I can only think of one at the moment.
The First Wives Club. You know, where Goldie Hawn & Diane Keaton & Bette Midler were all married to Nasty Swine who they all publicly took to the cleaners, except that Bette Midler took her Swine back in the end & I applauded her for it . I'm sure I would have done the same if I had the chance. Which I didn't.
But that's a whole other story.

 After the  makeover & Major Pore Realisation, AJ & I browsed & window shopped. I quite liked the quotes that covered the window of a boutique in nearby Paddington. My favourite quote concerned sweat pants & of course Karl Lagerfeld said it. 'Sweat pants are a sign of defeat'.
But after giving it some serious thought, I'm wondering if women actually wear sweat pants so much anymore?  Maybe sweat pants are Over. And, my next question is, 'if they are over, what has replaced them?' I can't answer that. Perhaps you can.
Take a moment or two, if you can be bothered, to read some of the other quotes. They're sort of worth it.

 You may recall that one of my favourite pastimes is to furtively photograph pages from books in bookshops. Perhaps you may think me a Lousy Cheapskate who  gets her kicks from the possible risk of Public Humiliation by being frogmarched out of a bookstore by an irate book salesperson? I mean, think of the embarressment.....
But I just couldn't help but show you these two wonderful quotes that I found in a  little book that I sadly didn't notice the title of.
 After the bookstore, we went to a shop called 'World'. I couldn't help but be intrigued by the 'I heart NZ' badges, but couldn't for the life of me imagine wearing one.

 As we were nearing our car, I also couldn't help but notice the name of another boutique, below.
No matter how hard I try, I just don't get it.

 And then there was The shop next door. Easton Pearson, featuring Lime & Burnt Orange. I know that Lime is the Colour de Jour, but somehow I wasn't thrilled.
Perhaps I'm being a little harsh.

 I must must must get Into Bed. I'll never get up at 6.30 tomorrow which is my newish Regime. My aim is to bound out of bed in the morning like an Energiser Bunny who's just been fitted with brand new batteries.
I'll race out to the kitchen & before putting on the kettle,  drink two glasses of tap water even though a Health Professional recently informed me that Sydney Water had traces of arsenic & cat's wee in it. And perhaps an Eye of Newt.
 I don't care, I'm drinkin' it anyway.


see you there! said...

Welcome back! You look smashing in the all black outfit.


janavi said...

Yes, welcome back. And I love those quotes.