Monday, May 28, 2012
It's Monday Nite. I'm sitting up snugly wearing my Toy Ugg Boots after just finishing watching yet another documentary on The Queen, a Woman I've Long Admired & Have, Over Many Years, Striven to Emulate as Much as I Can.
But, you may ask, How can One be like The Queen?
It's easy. Follow this Simple Check List, below:
2. Wave Majestically.
3. Wear lots of Bling.
4. Stick to Pleasantries.
5. Prefer Dogs & Horses to People.
7. Wear hats that look like upturned Saucepans with bows on them.
8. Turn up.
9. Give a speech at Xmas.
Need I go on?
Anyway, that's not what this blog entry is About. Absolutely Not.
YOu may have noticed that the whiteboard in the first photo pleaded with you in a kind of Poor Little Match Girl way not to scream at me in Upper Case, 'Get a Life' .
In fact, I can't actually remember anyone ever telling me to get a life, although many people over the years have said things like, 'YOu haven't lived unless you've drunk a Harvey Wallbanger', which was a vile cocktail from the Seventies made from Galliano & Orange Juice I think.
Or, 'YOu haven't lived unless you've gone Skinnydipping in Sydney Harbour' which is what a guy once said to me on Our First Date.
But I guess that's not the same thing, is it?
Young British Mummy Blogs Featuring Daily Photos of School Drop Off Outfits.
Let me explain..............
Mothers don't go to work. Instead, they get dressed in a Nice Outfit every morning & drive their children to school.
Once they arrive at the School Gate, they get out of the car & make one of their children or perhaps a Passerby take their photo.
Then, they race home & post the photo/s & an accompanying description of their Outfit on their blog.
They then have a cup of tea or a latte & wait for 50,000 page views.
Of course I'm not Collegial enough to be bothered creating a link to any of these blogs. I think perhaps one is called School Gate Something or Other & another might feature the word Suburban. Maybe Suburban Style. If you google School Gate Style you might find one.
Now I'm feeling guilty. Why can't I be bothered finding out their precise names?
Is it because I'm a Lazy Slattern?
No. I'm just tired & desperate to hop into bed with a small bowl of Globe Grapes the size of Eyeballs to munch quietly before dropping off to sleep.
Get a Life bit come in?
Well, apparently Disgruntled Blog Followers have been writing 'Get a Life' on these Mum's blogs. Like, haven't you women got anything better to do with your time than take endless photos of yourself outside the school gate? Get a Life.
And what say if one of these Disgruntlers might accidentally come across my blog & discover what's going on Inside the School Gate?
What O What would they say?
I'd be soo mortified that I'd have to make a Quick Exit in my Getaway Car, which incidentally is the title of my favourite Hall & Oates song, 'In My Getaway Car'.
Talking of Outfits, I do want to Ever-so-Gently walk you through what I'm wearing in the photos in my Absolute Favourite Text Type, The Dot Point:
1. Almost everything is thrifted from my favourite Magic Shop, 'BednobsEtc'
2. The Pashmina in the top photo is an Actual Real not Toy Pashmina - a Roberto Cavalli Digital Print Offcut bought at a shop that actually sells New Things that I was taken to by my friend, The Ex-School Nurse. Like the School Drop-Off Blogs, I can't remember the name of the shop which is well worth a visit if you live near Waterloo in Sydney.
3. Can't be bothered saying anything much more except:
* I Love Navy.
* I Love Pashminas. Soo good for covering up Middleaged Trouble Spots like Necks etc as well as provide comfort from the cold.
* I love wearing Double Animal Print bangles. It brings out my Inner Beast who actually Has a Life.
Lastly, I must must tell you about a blog whose name I sadly can remember. It's called Fabulous Over 50, although I'm not creating a link. Perhaps you have heard of it.
My BFF Marge in Thousand Oaks got me on to it. At first I was thrilled. That's me, I thought, although perhaps Fabulous Waay Over 50 would be more accurate.
When I got onto it I made a Beeline for a kind of Advanced Style Street Style Type Section that featured shots of women over 50 taken maybe in NYC. Underneath each photo were comments by a gaggle of Professional Stylists with accompanying photos & links to their web sites.
The first street photo was of a lady who had on a Black Outfit of Many Parts. If I saw this lady walking along the street I'd think she looked kind of interesting even though I personally wouldn't wear what she was wearing.
But all the stylists totally went to town on her. It was like the Nuremberg Fashion Crimes Trials.
So mean. So nasty. One really hateful stylist accused her of the Unforgivable Crime of Not Being Age Appropriate which immediately made me want to race out & have my Belly Button pierced & wear a midriff top & short shorts.
I kept on thinking about the way the lady was standing there looking all hopeful & happy that she'd been noticed & how she might feel if she read all those comments.
I know how I'd feel.