Sunday, December 23, 2012

Accept the Good If You Can Possibly Bear It

You'll be glad to know that I actually got on & off the plane & arrived in Los Angeles with no loss of luggage although in spite of frantic efforts to rehydrate mid-flight, I'm sure I lost a ton of moisture along the way.
A wonderful thing was that my daughter Maeflower was already there.
Here she is with our great friend Netitia, a genuine Los Angelino about to enter the La Brea Tar Pits Museum. We were all gagging to see the skeletal remains of poor creatures who were trapped in the tar pits along the side of Wilshire Boulvard millions of years ago, although it wasn't called that back then.
I was v. distressed to see concrete sculptures in the Actual Pits of a little Elephanta Family where the Mum was trapped in the Tar whilst the Dad & Baby were helplessly looking on on safe ground. It was heartbreaking, but not heartbreaking enough  to stop us blithely skipping into the Museum Gift Shoppe & browsing their collection of authentic Dire Wolf Souvenir Skulls & Bison Tusks.


 I'm standing in front of an Poor Ancient Bison who had become stuck in the tar.
Poor Thing.
Luckily, I left a small Capsule Wardrobe behind from my last visit so I was able to wear this Gap Jacket purchased for ten bucks in January from the Jewish Women's League Thrift Shoppe in Santa Monica.
Sadly, I had packed my backs rather recklessly with a whole slew of slightly grubby black clothes left over from My Winter, so the jacket was a bit of a Lifesaver & certainly cheered me up as I made my way through the Anamatronic Death Scenes on show in the main hall of the Museum.

Here is Maeflower & Netitia talking rather earnestly to a Volunteer Docent who informed us that every time a new carpark is being excavated in the Hancock Park area of Los Angeles, new Prehistoric Carcases are found & dug out & then quickly put in large boxes for later perusal so as not to disturb the smooth passage of Carpark Construction.

Maeflower is standing in front of a whole mess of Dire Wolf Heads.
What a Name. Dire Wolf. I wonder why?
She's wearing a little wool scarf that I bought in Rajasthan in 1987 in a desperate bid to avoid the freezing cold. Who knew that India could be cold?

I was surprised at how jaunty some of these skeletons looked considering that they were stuck in  tar so long ago. This Highly Polished one looks like it's just about to go for a brisk walk.

At the end of our Museum Stop my BFF Marge arrived just in the nick of time to carry us off to the next part of the day. She too is looking v. jaunty in a v. interesting mix of colours - a bright pink jacket with a thinly striped top in shades of Light Orange.
It looks fab.


It's a shame that you can't see those Upsetting Concrete Sculptures of the Elephanta Family in the picture above. They are right behind us.  I'm pulling a face but Marge is keeping to her usual High Standards that she learned long ago at the June Dally-Watkins School of Modelling & Deportment.

Later, we ended up back at Joanne's, the Craft Store in Thousand Oaks  where we purchased a range of Xmas Ornaments that were up to 70% off. We didn't pay more than $3 for anything including these adorable crocodiles & flamingos.  Earlier, we had stopped off at Barneys in Beverly Hills where almost the exact same ornaments were selling for $62.
Oooo, I must have a brief rant about Barneys. I was almost quivering with excitement as we drove into it's beautifully lit carpark which made me feel like I was arriving at the Oscars. But once we got inside it was a different story. As soon as the lift doors opened,  a whole slew of over-eager Sales Clerks (to use an American expression) immediately pounced on Marge & me & began telling us what was wrong with our skin. We refrained from informing  them that what was actually wrong with our skin was that we were sixty. Marge let them pat her skin which apparently is the only way to touch your face.
 It seems that all these years of wiping & tugging have reeked senseless havoc.
Who knew?

So what I need to do is what the sign above that I spied for eighteen bucks at the Los Angeles County Museum Gift Shoppe  is telling me to do.
It's quite hard especially if you were brought up by a Relentlessly Complaining Mother.

Marge & Me love Matching Cuffs. 
Here's some pink sparkly ones that we spied at Forever 21 in the Thousand Oaks Mall.
The clothes are dismal but the Jewels are Wonderful.

I'm trying on black diamante bangles that I ultimately decided not to buy.
Pourquoi, you may ask?
I thought perhaps that were a little showy.
Even though I'm kind of a devotee of Joan Rivers, I don't really want to look like her.
Who would?

After filling up on F21's Fab Jewels, I scampered across to Charming Charlie which had to be the largest shoppe I had ever seen of Costume Jewelry. I left empty handed after five minutes.

We were stunned by the oversized Xmas Baubles on a tree in Macys.

Lastly, do look at the way Maeflower & Netitia Xmased-Up Marge's house while we were at The Mall.
A large plaster statue of an alluring Forties Siren whose known as Holly looks amazing in a Santa Hat & Xmas Lights. Or do we call them Holiday Lights, I wonder?
Actually, Holly reminds me of my Least Favourite Holiday Song that has been blearing from every shop & Mall since I arrived.
Santa Baby. You know the one. Breathless Horny Female Sings  massive come onto Santa.
Ewwww.

6 comments:

Rebecca said...

I'll have bad elephant dreams after reading this post. It all sounds very disturbing. I'm glad you had the shopping experience to neutralize some of the trauma. Have a wonderful, WONDERFUL visit and merry Christmas.55

see you there! said...

What? You don't like Eartha Kitt? Come on now! I won't say Santa Baby is a favorite of mine but have you heard her do "C'est Si Bon"?

Darla

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