It is now just past sunset on the last day of my summer holidays. As I sit on the couch after eating rather a few too many carbs for my last holiday dinner, I am suddenly aware that I am experiencing a feeling of Tightness in the pit of my stomach.
Could this be a Dollop of Dread? A modicum of morbidity?
A teaspoon of trepidation perhaps?
But then I convince myself that it's Not That Bad.
After all, it's not as if I have to get up tomorrow morning & go & hose out an abattoir. Or change incontinence pads on people in nursing homes. Or stand all day at some noisy roadworks wearing an unflattering neon coloured vest wearily waving a Stop-Go sign.
Actually, I'd love to spend the rest of the blog entry reeling off a list of jobs I'd Rather Not Do.
But I won't.
Instead, I'll start with reeling off a list of things I loved doing in the holidays:
1. Spending time with Maeflower & Tacitus - particularly watching "Sherlock", Seasons 1&2 with them. I now totally adore Benedict Cumberbatch (I wonder if he's ever called Cumberbun, or is that a tired old eye-rolling joke? I bet it is) I love the fact that he's gorgeous even though there's really a bit too much space between his nose & the top of his lip, in case you never noticed.
2. Going to my favourite charity shoppe, Bednobs & Broomsticks every single day it was open when I was in Sydney. Over the holidays, I bought a staggering array of discarded designer clothing & shoes which I'll be showcasing in the classroom v soon. One of my goals this year is to, in the words of Joan Rivers , "look like a movie star" every day but not Lassie or ET or Helena Bonham Carter . More like Meryl Streep.
You can see a slightly creepy photo I quietly took of myself in the change cubicle at Bednobsetc below, holding a giant Givenchy shoe that sadly I didn't buy because it would have killed me to wear it. Good on that trickster, Emma Thompson for wearing flat sandals on the red carpet at the recent SAG awards even if she looked a little like she was about to do the vacuuming.
3. Buying loads of incredibly cheap sale jewelry at my favourite cheap jewelry mall shoppe, Diva, which is an Aladdin's Cave of junk. There's a photo of me standing in the shoppe , below wearing a slightly slutty silk with a soupçon of spandex corseted blouse thrifted from Bednobsetc many moons ago.
4. Having no Official Bedtime & instead staying up late trawling the internet for sales of rare as hen's teeth copies of Celine cuffs. Or studying closely on Google Images the amazing oversized truck tyre that is currently growing around John Cleese's girth & wondering if he is at all concerned about it. It certainly didn't appear so in a recent interview he gave with the remaining Pythons I saw on YouTube.
But who am I to judge? I should only concern myself with my own girth. Speaking of which, in case you were wondering, it's back on to the 5:2 Diet this week.
Oh, now I know what the tightness in the pit of my stomach is about - early bedtimes & dieting.
goody goody, can't wait.
Before I go, the first photo is my last summer holiday snap taken today walking towards a friend's front yard water feature. I look so happy & carefree in a thrifted from Bednobsetc Ted Baker sloppy joe which of course I'm not keen on because I fear it makes my bum look sad.
It's now the dreaded Official Bedtime. Must hop in.