Abundance Through Frugality

Is the Word 'Whinge' a Universal Term, I wonder?

My daughter, Billie-Mae & I went to the Degas Blockbuster Exhibition at the Australian National Gallery in Canberra. I'm now going to have a Slight Whinge about Art Blockbusters Aussie-Style. But maybe I should say, 'Whine,' as I'm not sure if 'Whinge' is part of the Universal English Vocabulary. 

Every time I go to The Northern Hemisphere I try to visit Big Museums. Like The Getty in LA. You can stroll through room after room of Masterpieces & there's barely a soul around to disturb you. I'm sure it breeds Masterpiece Smugness. 

'Oh yeah, there's  Van Gogh's Sunflowers again. I've seen it a million times. Yawn. Where's the cafe?'

In our whole Wide Brown Land, you'd be lucky to find maybe a dozen second-tier Picassos & a hundred or so third-rate Impressionist Paintings. Last month the Sydney Art Gallery had to sell half of it's Australian Contemporary Art Collection to buy this dirty-looking half-arsed Cezanne that cost millions & millions. 

Anyway, every time we have a Big-Name Blockbuster, like the Degas, you get like one, or two if you're lucky Big Ticket Paintings & then the rest is postage-stamp size etchings & prints that create the illusion of More.

Even so, it was just wonderful to see his Leaping Ballerinas & Racehorses.

But of course, we spent ages in the Degas Shop marvelling at the seemingly unrelated merchandise like freshwater pearl bracelets with silver charms that were on sale. Because of My New Frugality (more on that soon) we only bought a few little cheap items, like the round mirror above. 

We ended up at the Australian Aboriginal Cards, probably the best part of the whole joint.

E verything is Coming to Me Easily & Effortlessly

I've always suffered from Boundless Resentment.

So, when I read in The Thoughtful Dresser that she wasn't going to write any blog entries until January because she & her hubby were off to some Fabulously Idyllic Mexican Resort, I thought, if she can can smugly go on hols & abandon her blog, so can I!!!

I've had quite a few days off, perhaps almost a week or more, but now Guilt has Gotten the Better of Me. I must now write something.

As I type, I'm sitting in my daughter's living room in Canberra, Our Nation's Capital. She's been busy impressing me with her Sensational Hand-Eye Coordination Skills that would do an Air Traffic Controller proud, in playing a violent, but Ultra Pleasant (her words) Video game called Fable 2. 

After I've finished blogging, we're going to continue watching this New Agey film called 'You Can Heal Your Life' which features the Doyenne of Affirmations, Louise Hay. Only my daughter, Billie-Mae has dubbed it 'Starting Over Yet Again' in honour of a famous episode of 'Sex & the City' where Charlotte drags Sceptical Carrie to hear the Wise Words of a Female Snake Oil Merchant & Healer.

 I know I sound like an Utter Flake, but I've always loved all that stuff. In fact, a couple of decades ago, Louise Hay toured Australia & my friend Marge & I saw her speak. She was just great, but we both thought Old at the time. So, I was v. surprised to see that she's still around now in her eighties & looking pretty good, if perhaps Slightly Startled & Permanently Wide-Eyed (if you know what I mean) 

I occasionally use Affirmations. One of my favourites is 'Everything is coming to me easily & effortlessly' in honour of the fact that I always feel that even small things are So Hard. This past year I said it to my Senior Class many times as they were always whinging about how hard & impossible the work was. I'm sure it helped because everyone of them got fantastic results totally beyond my wildest expectations which will help to get them all into the University Course of their Dreams.

Now, I've Totally Gone off Course.

This entry was supposed to be about Christmas & so far I haven't mentioned a single thing about it.  This is because the blog has a Mind of it's Own, sadly. I am just the channel from which it's Sage Words & Endless Anecdotes pass through.

I've got soooooo much to say about Xmas. I wonder how Rachel Zoe & her hubby Rodger spent it. I'm sure it couldn't have been more Glamorous than Mine. I'm including some photos to prove it to you. 

Me eating a scrumptious Mince Pie at a pre-Xmas dinner I hosted. 

Me (with Mr. Ex-Middleaged asleep looking like Rip Van Winkle in the background). Yes, he shared a Xmas Picnic lunch down at Sydney Harbour with My daughter & I. Then we all went to a French film called, 'I Loved You So Long', which I thought was such an appropriate name, and a totally excruciating & tortured experience, which I also thought was appropriate.

Me showing off a wonderful gift of Simon Doonan's book 'Eccentric Glamour' that was sent from Marge in Thousand Oaks.

My daughter made wonderful Xmas food, including  yummy pizettes. She's showing off her wonderful bangle sent by Marge. I got one too which was lucky, because I'd have to steal it from her if I didn't have one.

These holidays are a breeze.

Yesterday I attempted to go Xmas Shopping which is quite challenge as I've embraced The New Frugality. 

And it's not such a Bad Thing. In fact, Embracing Frugality has become a totally entertaining & rewarding pastime. Just as long as it doesn't become another Obsession. 

I've always been careless with money like I'm Barbara Hutton without the Millions. I recklessly spent thousands & thousands of dollars on things like take-away Lattes  & endless copies of Vogue magazine from every English-speaking country in the world. And even sometimes non-English speaking ones. Frequently, I would buy Italian Vogue which was quite expensive, & sit for hours trying to work out what it was saying.

Now I buy one magazine a month - 'The World of Interiors' which I've been buying since 1985. It would be wicked to stop. All the others I steal from 'Zinc', my local cafe, or pull out of our building's recycling bin or read at 'Borders'. 

Books are a bit more difficult. And I feel like I really should buy books. Besides, it's hard to read them standing up in bookshops. 'Borders' is too noisy to read a whole book, so I frequent my local bookstore which is the size of a postage stamp. Yesterday, I found this wonderful new book of freshly discovered writings by Kafka, who I'm a fan of, not that I've read much of his stuff. But I like the idea of it. You know, people waking up one day only to discover that they've turned into Dung Beetles.  I'd hate for that to happen to Mr. Ex-Middleaged.

Anyway, it was a slim volume of Kafka's anagrams or aphorisms or something starting with the letter A. It was rivetting. But I couldn't stand there for too long because I could feel the slimy presence of the Shop Owner right behind me. I wandered out of the shop feeling smug for not spending $32.

Yesterday, I went to another bookstore. A much larger one where I can read in an armchair without being bothered by the staff. I found this wonderful picture book called The Red Shoes which is a re-telling of the old story. Or is it a fairy tale? And I can't remember the story. 

And I call myself an English Teacher. 

Instead of buying it, I took pictures of the fantastic illustrations with my phone. Which was yet another occasion to feel smug. I just love love love this book (Rachel Zoe is rubbing off on me). And I thought it was Relevant to my Own Life Right Now as I keep on thrifting red shoes. It's incredible. Four, or is it five pairs in the last couple of weeks.  What is the Universe trying to say to me, I wonder? 

I must go read the story & find out.

A Revolting Medieval Nightmare

It's always tempting for me to have a Big Rant About Aging.

But I know that it's a little bit like eating McDonalds - ultimately it's an Empty Experience. 

So, I won't go on too much about the fact that this wardrobe shot highlights my Marionette Lines. And I won't tell you what Marionette Lines are. You'll just have to guess.

But on a slightly more positive note, I wanted to point out the differences between being Middleaged Now & being Middleaged Then. Just look at the little mixed media piece I did featuring souvenir spoons & a 1950's photo of those horrid Gossip Queens Hedda Hopper & Louella Parsons & an unidentified other Middleaged woman in the middle. They were photographed at some swanky Hollywood restaurant admiring the then v. young Sophia Loren, who I cropped out of the picture, but who looked a bit put off by all the slobbering middleaged attention.

Each woman is a Study In Jowls. And Louella, who's seated, looks like one of those little devils that are carved into the facade of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. I'm not sure if they're Devils or Ghouls, but they're some Revolting Medieval Nightmare or other.

And I never realised before how aging Mink Stoles are. I must throw mine out.

 

Last Year's Xmas Tableau Was a Doozey

action man tableau
Originally uploaded by middleagedteacher

I couldn't help but drag out my Action Man Christmas Tableau from last year. I entertained myself for hours arranging it. And I always think that Action Man livens up any Occasion.
Of course, this years effort is a bit tame by comparison.
But as I always say to my students, & they love it, 'Compare & Despair'!

Every year around the end of October, I begin to get more than usually nervous whenever I enter a Mall. The reason is simple- I'm looking for Signs of Impending Christmas.  

And I swear it's getting Earlier & Earlier.

It usually starts off Small, like a virus. You might walk past a  little display of Chocolate Coins, or a Holiday Assortment of Candies. But within a week, it's Full Tilt Santa. 

The thing that really bugs me the most is the Christmas Songs.

 As I write, I've got an annoying Earworm in my head. It's the Absolute Smuggest Christmas Song of the lot - you know the one that starts, 'It's beginning to look alot like Christmas.....Ev-rywhere I go'.... 

And we all know that Christmas looks like Snow. 

Not where I come from. 1. I've hardly ever seen snow in my life except in New York. 2. It's Summer at Christmas. 

So it's  stupid to be trawling around the shops on Xmas Eve in Sydney in a heatwave with 'I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas' blasting out on the PA.  And for hundreds of years, we Australians have just accepted it even though there isn't an inch of snow (except perhaps on the tip of our highest mountain, Mt. K, not K2) on our Wide Brown Land at this time of year. Surely I'm not the only person who's noticed this & finds it incongruous & annoying.

But I've never heard another person mention it. Maybe I just haven't been listening.

I'm beginning to sound Humbugesque.  Which is certainly not the mood I wish to create in this post. The Mood is one of not just passively accepting the Inevitability of Christmas, or resisting it, but actively Embracing Christmas. 

Why, you may ask?

I think it will make me feel good. And I suspect it's working. 

I've put every little card that I could find  (even Non-Xmas cards) on the top of the cabinet near my front door. So, every time I walk in the apartment, I see all these cards from people & feel kind of popular, or at least Known. 

Now I just need to buy some v. cheap gifts & get a tree.

One Day at a Time