Let me walk you through My Day & then you'll understand:
1. Woke up like a Startled Fawn & then, remembering my age, staggered out of bed.
2 .Put on Ugh Boots & padded to bathroom. Drew bath.
3. Padded to kitchen & put kettle on. Made a cup of Twinings 'Afternoon Tea' even though it was morning.
4. Mentally wrestled with the idea that I am again about to eat another 'Uncle Toby's Oat Temptations' Porridge Sachet, Maple Syrup flavour. If a nutritionist was evaluating my diet, they would be horrified I'm sure.
5. Drank tea in bath. Tentatively decided what to wear.
6. Reluctantly got out of bath. Hastily dried myself.
8. Put clothes on. Wrong. Cocky Air quickly dissipates.
9. Put more clothes on. Still wrong. Mild panic sets in.
10 Put still more clothes on. A spotted velour skirt bought a few weeks back from 'Bednobs' but never worn suddenly discovered languishing in back of wardrobe. Brief moment of recognition & Slight Short Lived Euphoria.
11. Empty 'Oat Temptations' sachet into bowl & microwave. Ninety seconds spent wondering about validity of claims in Sunday Newspaper that canned foods, non-stick cookware, particularly if scratched, & standing less than a metre away from microwave when activated, are slowly poisoning me & kitchen. Slightly moved away from microwave.
12. Ate Oats. Loved every mouthful.
13. Applied new 'Minerals' powder makeup newly purchased at discount pharmacy. Marvelled at frown lines. Cleaned teeth while hoping that front left hand tooth won't get any blacker.
12. Left home. Trawled down street.
13. Picked up takeaway latte from 'Zinc'.
14. Entered classroom with latte. Tried to channel The Queen Mother.
15. Too tired to go on.
PS: Hope you like my posters I made for our Op Shop Fashion Parade & Stall.