Wednesday, February 6, 2013

My Life as an Outfit

 Greetings & Welcome to My Life as an Outfit Fresh Off the Whiteboard.
I'm not sure about this last statement.
I can't decide whether it's incredibly pithy & fresh & energetic or if it's just wordy & lame & absolutely nonsensical.
But, you know what?  I'm not going to change it because I haven't got time.
It's now 8.44 pm & I'm determined to get to bed ASAP.
Why the hurry, you may well ask?
Well, it's because I'm desperate to get to sleep before 11pm.
Lately, I haven't been sleeping so well. And it's not for want of trying, let me assure you.
 I've been making myself hop into bed no later than 10.30, my Official Eye-Shutting Time which simply means No lights, no reading, or no jumping out of bed  to open the fridge to eat an After Dinner Mint followed by a visit to the bathroom to retrieve a Dental Flosser.
Absolutely Not.
I  make myself lie there with  eyes firmly shut. I allow myself a few minutes to plan The Next Morning's Outfit & then I'm supposed to gently drift off to sleep.
 But lately that hasn't happened. Either I get all lathered up trying to remember what tops I have that might go with that freshly thrifted subtly sequinned skirt that I've been aching to wear or I might suddenly become Overheated.
 Or I might think of something hateful like how I havent' paid my o'erdue credit card bill.
Or worrying that I might have offended a student by accidentally calling her 'Twinky'.
Anyway, none of that nonsense is going to happen tonite.

BTW, look above at the Real Not Toy Marc by Marc Jacobs Handbag that I thrifted at 'BednobsEtc' for a v. small sum & am rather smugly holding up on the first day of classes last week.
Sadly, the little metal testimonial that says that it's a Marc by MarcEtc had come off but was safely tucked inside the bag. I took it to the local exotic shoe repairer, Cobbler Cabbalero who put it back in its right place by using generic little Studs which I'm sure are nothing like the Real Marc Studs.

It seems that everything I own is kind of like that - Slightly Chipped, Bruised, Stained or Moth eaten.
But luckily,  I'm not.


 The following day I decided to introduce some colour into the Classroom with a rather Stickily Synthetic  dress that looks like a Bad Copy of a Jackson Pollock Drip Painting.
 But not necessarily in a Nasty Way.
I couldn't resist wearing a pair of half-mast legging which only partially cover my Self-Inflicted Spray Tan.
Have you noticed that leggings have been totally taken over by Middleagedwomen?


In the photo above, I look like I'm just about to gaze into a crystal ball or read a student's tarot or perhaps their tea leaves.
 But in fact I'm holding out my hands because Ireland, my Official Photographer has lately been getting me to show off my rings. She's always got my best interests at heart.


 Here I am again showing off my rings the next day in a dress that I've had for years. Each time I wear it I swear it's going to be the last time, but I can't seem to part with it even though there's nothing Slightly Slutty about it & I'm always going for that look although most of the time you wouldn't know it.


It's 9.33 & I'm Almost Done.
In my final photo of the nite, It's back to black again. In fact, I would almost but not quite, love to wear this dress everyday even though it's got an unsightly white stain on the chest which I suppose I'll have to have dry cleaned out because it's silk & I ruin just about everything I wash myself.
Note my French Manicure Pedicure which is my new favourite Toe Look.It goes well with the Self-Inflicted Spray Tan.
Off to bed to plan tomorrow's outfit.

2 comments:

rebecca said...

I'm thinking of making an eye appointment. I was straining to read the whiteboard and having NO success. None.

I COULD see your rings, though. Very nice. The white spot on the silk black dress, not. But I can identify with ruining things that you try to clean yourself.

I'll be interested to know if sleep came more easily for you after working out your wardrobe issues here. Do let us know.

Darla said...

Good for you for wearing the rings. The turquoise one really caught my eye. I have a little pile of rings and the poor things never get out of the jewelry chest these days.

Darla