Thursday, April 18, 2013

Meet Oversharing & Unwanted Advice-Giving Cat

 Hello Dear Reader, We finally meet again!
Exhausted from the enormous effort of making my "If I Was" Video that sadly has only had 85 views on YouTube so far, I decided to have a Small Rest from Della.
But now I'm Back, all Shiny & New just like a freshly minted Bitcoin!!

I have soo much to Show & Tell &...Hurrah Hurrah!, I've got soo much time on my hands to Tell It because I'm on Holidays!
By now you must be getting a little tired of the Exclamation Marks.
So am I.
I won't do any more. But you'll have to imagine that everything I'm writing, I'm writing it in a wildly excited, high energy kinda way.

Like most people, I do love holidays.
Sadly, I'm still waking up just before daybreak, but then I just roll over & try to go back to sleep, or failing that, lie there desperately trying to remember that last little Disturbing Dream I had before waking.
But this morning, I hopped out of bed almost straight away & immediately headed  to the computer to see if I could get any Timely Advice from The Advice Giving Mallard who appears above, & whose advice, along with other memes such as Foul Bachelor Frog, Overly Attached Girlfriend & Misunderstood Spider I often consult.

Unfortunately, I didn't find the advice it gave v. useful. I have never in my life told anyone to smile, & I absolutely loathe it when anyone tells me to.
In my view, the only people who are legitimately allowed to tell people to smile are Professional Photographers when they are taking photos of people who have paid them to do so.

Anyway, whilst I was getting all worked up about this, I made a Sudden Discovery.
To my great surprise, I realised that I, too have a an Advice Giving Animal living inside of me.
In fact, I've got at least two.

Here, below is Oversharing Cat.
She just can't help it - always has to reveal embaressingly tedious personal details about herself to whoever is within ear shot. And always with the quiet assurance that only comes with absolutely knowing that People Are Interested.
My Poor Mother was like that. Whilst walking along the street with her or perhaps shopping inside a Department Store, I would pray that no one would come up & ask her how she was because she would always tell them in detail, starting with her v. sore bunions, moving up through her hiatus hernia & finally finishing with her persistent earwig or imminent cataract operation.


Next, meet Unwanted Advice-Giving Cat.
She's v. similar to Oversharing Cat except her focus is telling people how to behave.
It's a skill that's been honed over many years of sitting on people's laps & listening to them go on & on.




I hope you like them.
If there's any topic you'd like them to cover, just let me know & I'll speak to them.
I must finish watching Simon Schama's Power of Art Episode on Picasso & then hop into bed.
Is it just me, or have you noticed that every Art Historian or Television Commentator always manages to make Picasso sound like an Utter Tool?



2 comments:

Trixie Drew said...

That is one very disturbed cat!

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