The Gravitas That Fakes Never Have

Bonjour Mes Amigos

Come on a quick Pictorial Journey with me & The Ex-School Nurse! You won't be disappointed. Or bored. But perhaps a little Sad that you weren't with us.

It was yesterday morning at around 7 am when we loaded up Nursey's Four Wheel Drive & headed for Rozelle Markets where we had High Hopes of selling all our Unwanted Items of Clothing. And look at how much of it we had. If only I could get rid of all my Unwanted Emotions so easily. Actually, It wasn't v. easy for me to get rid of the clothes either. But more on that later.

Eyebrow Appreciation.

Look look look at me above with my Freshly Waxed & Shaped & Dyed Eyebrows that scream 'Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee'. Actually not her. More, 'Look at me, I'm Janet Leigh'.

I've just been teaching 'Psycho' to my Year 9 class & all I can look at & admire is Janet's majestically arched eyebrows. My eyes can't keep away from them even during the Shower Scene.

The Strict Eyebrow Regime.

Every four weeks I go to 'The Waxing Diva's' in Bondi Westfield .

And every time I go, it gets More Painful as Roe, the Eyebrow Diva finds more Rogue Hairs on my face to Wax. Eventually, I imagine that my entire face will be waxed.

How will I withstand the pain?

What the Hell? Why, O why am I talking about eyebrows when I'm supposed to be walking you through My Market Stall Pictures?

You know, this is the problem with Della. I'm mentioned this before. But its high time that I mention it again: The Blog has a mind of its own. It wants to run the show. It wants to set the agenda. But you know what? I'm in charge. Not Della.

So its back to Market.

Persistent Polka Dots.

Don't you think that the term, 'Polka Dot' is an Absolute Crack Up? I've never thought of it before. I'm suddenly thinking of neat rows of Happy Peasants on the Village Green with the Matterhorn in the background, madly polkaing to the accompaniment of a a Piano Accordion.

Perhaps it was the earliness of the hour, but when I got up on sunday morning, I was suddenly impelled to pay homage to the Humble Polka Dot. And I'm not sorry. I totally loved wearing this ensemble which was made entirely from Man Made fabrics . Luckily, I don't sweat much.

Arm Candy Rules.

I'm still totally obsessed with loading up my arm with Elacticised Bracelets that mostly feature pearls & diamantes & little cubes that spell L-O-V-E. Usually, I wind them all around each other to form an Interesting Arm Sculpture that often cuts off the circulation. But I couldn't do that at the market as I needed to use my arm.

Not that I don't have to use it on Normal Days.

Here's The Ex-School Nurse looking radiantly unruffled as she unpacks the Unwanted Clothes even though a small pack of vultures are surrounding her.

I must say that it was slightly stressful unpacking everything & throwing it on the trestle tables that are so generously provided by the Market.

(a) My table groaned under the weight of The Unwanted.

(b) I'm sure My Table was too much of a challenge for Most People.

(c) There's always at least One Item that everybody is drawn to & has to pick up & inspect.

And then they put it down. This time, the lucky Unwanted Item was a patterned slightly bubble shirt. After its Fiftieth Rejection, I started to feel quite sorry for it.

(d) Sales were generally slow throughout the day. Which was absolutely NOT what I imagined would happen.

(E) At the end of the day, I had to stuff most of it back into the bags & schlep it back into The Ex-SN's car.

(f) After an exhaustive Post Mortem, I decided that my Presentation & Marketing Strategy Needs to Change.

(g) I had a great time. The Ex-SN gave me a Louis V. satchel that had been kicking around her house for yonks & she thought she must sell. I am totally convinced that it is The Real Deal because it has a Certain Gravitas that Fakes never have. Plus, I have convinced myself that the stitching is a kind of a mustardy colour, which I am told is a Total Giveaway in identifying a real one. Plus Plus, I bought from her a fab pair of Patent Loafers that will be perfect for me when I briefly resume Winter when I go to California in three weeks.

Hats.

Here's a few Hat People that generously allowed me to photograph them.

I asked one lady who looked a little like a more grotesque version of Eddie in 'Absolutely Fabulous' if I could photograph her . She was head to toe designer-logos: Huge Dior sunglasses, LV silver logo dangly earrings, TWO LV shoulder bags & Dolce & Gabbana jeans. She must have been in her sixties. Not that I'm criticising because that's exactly where I'm heading.

I went up to her & smiled & asked if I could take her photo.

'Why?' she asked.

'Oh, for my blog', I replied.

'What's a blog?'

'You, know, The Internet'.

She kind of begrudgingly agreed & I scampered back to the stall to grab my camera.

Sadly, when I came back she said that she had decided against it because the Sour Woman in the next stall had informed her that I could be 'making money' out of her.

'No problem', I said.

I do love the contrast between the Frank Sinatriness of the hat with the Hippy Peasantness of the cheesecloth blouse.

That's twice in this entry that I've mentioned Peasants.

I'm sure there's an interesting contrast or a juxtaposition going on in the photo above, but I just can't find it at the moment. It must be time for Bed.

This lady, looked an absolute knockout.

So did this one.