Non Practicing Halloween Participants

Unexpectedly Celebrating Halloween.

For the benefit of My Overseas Visitors, I must inform you that Australia doesn't really celebrate Halloween.

To us, it's an Alien Holiday, almost, but not quite, as incongruous as us deciding to celebrate Thanksgiving , which also is a holiday featuring pumpkins.

I should know about Pumpkin Holidays because once, years ago whilst staying in California, I cooked an entire Thanksgiving Meal after watching a week's worth of Martha Stewart's Special Thanksgiving Banquet Shows. I've never heard the word 'gourd' used more in a half hour Lifestyle/Cooking show before. But I seem to have now forgotten what it actually means. Maybe Martha used 'gourds' as Thanksgiving table decorations? So perhaps they've got something to do with pumpkins. Or decorative autumnal leaves which I'm sure are a must at Thanksgiving.

Anyway, look look at me & my stepson Tyler taken last nite at the beginning of our 'Mad Men Season 4 Sunday Nite Dinner'. He had spent all that afternoon in between watching Bette Davis in 'All About Eve' (one of my favourite films of all time, but that's a whole other story) creating this exquisite Jack O'Lantern, which is what I believe to be their Technical Name.

I was absolutely thrilled to bits to be spontaneously celebrating Halloween at last even though I don't believe we should celebrate it.

Dripping in Pearls & Synchronicity.

And Oh dear Reader, the Synchronicity! I'm positively Dripping in It!

Little did I realise when recently purchasing that rather large nest of Pumpkin Coloured Candles from my favourite Candle Shoppe, 'Stax of Wax' in Newtown that they would go so magnificently with a Real Pumpkin!

I must really be in The Zone.

Note if you will, my Silvery Metallicy Bling Infested Top which is missing a rather large piece of bling at the front which I unsuccessfully overcompensated for by winding as many strands of pearls around my neck as was humanly possible. Up close, my neck looked like someone had Attempted Strangulation. But it was worth it.

But I'm not so sure about Me & Metallics. Maybe not. Maybe more Carnival Worker than Call Girl. And we all know what look I'm shooting for.

Here's Hunter & Tyler looking Magnificent. Sadly, I used a flash which slightly ruins the Magic & makes the Pumpkin look Cranky rather than Scary.

Sometimes I wonder what is better - looking cranky or scary. I'd say neither.

The Front of Betsey Johnson.

Today at 'BednobsEtc' I bought these Betsey Johnson Towering Infernos.

I couldn't resist them because now all my purchases are dictated by The Label.

What a Liberating Way to Shop! It cuts decision-making time in half!

The Back of Betsey Johnson.

I'm not entirely sure that I can actually walk in these shoes. And they are a rather Rare Size. 7M.

Even though I have a Flexible Attitude Towards shoe sizes, I don't think I'm a 7M.

But I'm just going to have to make myself a 7M.

As a slight test, I made myself walk all the fifty metres back to my apartment from 'Bednobs' in them. By the time I got inside the front door, I swear I felt like I had suddenly developed Chinese Bound Feet. Or Bunyans . Plus blisters & a broken little toe.

But if Guiliana Rancid can wear them & all the other co-hosts on 'Fashion Police' can wear them, so can I.

No Disrespect to Fish Wives.

Here's a particularly flattering photo taken of me today. At least the photo above is flattering. The full length one below has a slight Fish Wife quality to it. Not than I mean any disrespect to any Fish Wives that may be reading this.

In keeping with my Labels Only Dress Code, I'm wearing a 'Calvin Klein' dress that I swear to God looked like something a Nun would wear to do some Good Works when it was hanging up at of course 'Bednobs'. Because of the label, I bought it anyway & was genuinely surprised when it didn't look quite so Nun-like on.

In conclusion, I'm not giving you the finger in the photo. It was a mistake as I was applying lipstick. I have just violated my Strict Code of Never Explain Never Defend.