Hello, Dear Reader & Welcome to Autumnal Autumn. Or perhaps you may prefer to call it 'Fall'.
Of course it certainly doesn't feel like it. More like Sticky Summer.
I hate to admit that I'm feeling Slightly Guilty for not blogging much lately. And, I failed to meet the Deadline to submit my regular column in 'Flowers & Sunshine', The School Newspaper.
Of course I've got a Raft of Excuses which I'm just aching to wheel out but I won't because I'm determined to stick to my Favourite Dictum , 'Never Explain, Never Defend'. Actually, it's my Second Favourite dictum after , 'A Girl Should Always be two things- Classy & Fabulous'.
Lately I've been feeling like everyday I have to get up & Slay the Jabberwocky.
And everyday I'm in 'Groundhog Day' or maybe an episode of 'Star Trek' where, even though I slayed the Jabberwocky yesterday, I've got to do it again today. And the next day. And the day after that.
You may be intrigued by my reference to 'Star Trek'. It may have even crossed your mind that I could be a 'Trekkie'. Sadly, I'm not. In fact, I don't think I've ever watched an entire episode or even a half a one in my life. But I did recently hear of an episode that I would love to watch if I had the chance.
The Starship 'Enterprise' or whatever, was inexplicably caught in some kind of Time Trap or perhaps Warp. I don't know the Technical Term. They'd reach a certain distance & then they'd be blown up by a Death Star or Darth Vader or Whatever .
Then they'd be chugging along again through Space, minding their own business, & then they'd be blown up all over again .
And then they'd be tootling along again & guess what happens? Yes, that's right. They get blown up.
Finally, they realise that they're Stuck.
So, before they get blown up the next time, they watch what's happening closely & then change whatever they were doing which enables them to change course & avoid being blown up.
Be grateful that I don't wheel out 'The Art of War'.
I was never really attracted to 'Star Trek' because I didn't admire The Outfits. They looked like Fire Traps. And I thought they made William Shatner look like a Nancy Boy. And Poor Leonard Nimoy & Those Vile Ears. Although I did think that they went well with the name 'Nimoy'.
Talking of Ears, Note mine in the photo above. My poor lobes were visibly aching under the strain of the gigantic Red Chandelier earrings that I insisted on wearing one day last week. Note too, that I'm wearing two different red dresses on two consecutive days. And neither of them look like an outfit from 'Star Trek'.
The Magic Coach.
Here I am today in my 'Camelot' Outfit holding up a Birthday Present from MBFF Marge from California.
It's a Real, not Toy 'Coach' Bag bought on sale at Macy's in 'The Oaks' Mall, Thousand Oaks. I was totally thrilled that she got it on sale because I love a sale more than anything & it felt like we both got a gift on my birthday - Marge saved some money & I got a Bag of My Dreams. I'm determined to wear Autumnal Shades for at least the next week just so I can use the bag.
A Nasty Nun Tale.
It was my birthday yesterday. I've always loathed my birthday. Each year I'm reminded of a v. unpleasant incident which occurred on my Fifth Birthday. I was in kindergarten. I was taught by a Repellent & Insensitive Sister of Mercy named Sister Rosalia.
Anyway, I cried. God knows why. Possibly Existential Ennui. Sister Rosalia told me that if you cry on your birthday, you cry all the year round. I toyed with the idea of believing her.
This is the same nun who advised everyone in kindergarten whose home was fitted with a gas stove, to go home that afternoon & turn on one of the elements on the stove & briefly put their finger in the flame. That would give them some idea of what hell was like. Only that Hell would be putting your whole body under the gas flame forever.
Luckily we had an electric stove.
But then today I found these shoes at my favourite thrift shop, 'BednobsEtc'. They were a steal at twelve bucks. Even though they're probably a size too small, I couldn't resist them. Luckily, I have a Relaxed Attitude towards shoe sizes.
Why couldn't I resist them, you may ask?
1. The Brand Name: 'Gossip Girl The TV Series'. At last I'll be like a Senior Blake Lively.
2. I love that style. It's soo 'It Girl'. Or perhaps, It Girl two seasons ago in 'Gossip Girl'. But that's the price you pay for only buying at thrift stores. You're nearly always sooo last season. Or the season before that etc.
3. I love a challenge. How the hell am I going to teeter down the hill in them, I wonder?
Here's me in yet another dress that The Ex-School Nurse gave me. In fact, she gave it to me some time ago but I've hardly worn it. You can see that I've Chaneled -It -Up by wearing a linen camellia given to me by Tyler for Xmas. Also, I'm still persisting with Sockettes. Sadly, they didn't protect me from Those Wicked Red Shoes. By the end of the day I thought I would have to have my heel amputated because they gave me a v. nasty blister on my right heel.
Incidentally, did you know that God Never Gives You Any More Shoes Than You Can Handle?
Remember my Sunday Nite 'Mad Men' dinners? I'm still having them nearly every sunday even though we haven't got any more 'MM' to watch because Season 5 wasn't or isn't being made for some hateful humbuggery reason.
Anyway, last sunday was my 'No Mad Men Sunday Nite Birthday Dinner'. The usual attendees attended. We watched 'Fashion Police' instead.
Going to Get Great Guns.
Here I am with AJ who presented me with an entire set of Dumbells as a birthday gift. I was Dumbstruck. AJ knows of my devotion to 'Boot Camp', in fact she attended a number of boot camp sessions in their early days. And, she knows of my fervent desire to Get Guns, which I believe is the Technical Term for Muscly Arms like Cameron Diaz. Have you seen her arms lately? They're like Madonna's only without the veins.
Tyler & Hunter presented me with beautiful white roses. I was thrilled.
And Darleen & Carleen gave me a stainless steel kitchen bin that Carleen found in her apartment building's garbage room, a stainless steel lemon squeezer that she obviously bought new & a black sweatband just like the one that Olivia Newton-John wore in 1980 in her 'Physical' video clip.
This was the Perfect Combination of gift for me because not only do I love a bargain, but I also love discarded useful items that are found in the street or in the recycling bin. And I desperately need kitchen utensils because I don't have hardly any & this annoys Maeflower, my daughter when she comes to cook in my kitchen.
I must hop into bed.