WARNING WARNING: Description of Hideous Symptoms below. Absolutely Not For the Faint-Hearted.
Hello, Dear Friend & Welcome to My Sick Bed.
Yes, I have a Bad Cold which includes a Range of Predictable & Highly Annoying Symptoms - A runny nose, nasty phlegm in different sickening hues, ears that feel something dreadful has happened to them &, ; the inevitable slow creeping of the cold into The Lungs. There is also a constant feeling of having my v. narrow nose pinched as well as a dull headache at the back of my head, a condition that always makes me feel like I might be growing a Brain Tumour.
Oh, & I've been reduced to a croak which is the nicest of all my symptoms. I enjoy the novelty of a croaky voice & can almost convince myself that I sound like Lauren Bacall or Kathleen Turner.
I've had The Cold now for nearly a week & there's no sign of an abatement, even though I've talked to it nicely, told it that it's made its point & kindly asked it to leave.
But it won't.
Today was my first Official Day in Bed. All the other days I've been ignoring it because I read somewhere that Bed Rest isn't really necessary. I know that sounds almost Blasphemous. But apparently, a Cold decides how long its going to stay regardless of how long you linger in bed.
I do feel a bit like a Martyr, but Certainly Not a Victim, heaven forbid.
It's now 7.45 pm. I've just shovelled in two steaming bowls of chicken soup featuring corn that I elegantly sheared off a cob & an avocado that I sliced & placed on the top.
Avocado is my favourite food. I eat it with everything. I particularly enjoy sliced avocado on top of soup because it cools it down slightly. Oh, FYI, I made the soup from scratch. I got out of bed & struggled down to 'Harris Farm Potts Point' Market & bought everything:
1. free range chicken thigh fillets. Tender, Juicy, succulent.
2. Continental Brand Powdered Chicken Stock, my all-time favourite Ingredient. I totally recommend it. My daughter Maeflower recently informed me that research has found that MSG is not as bad as all that & in fact, may be good for you. What a relief. Not that I particularly care too much about things that I really love being bad for you. Like coffee.
I must stop this Food Rambling. I'm sure it's the effects of The Aspirin, my favourite drug.
Look look look at me, above taken last sunday in Glebe Park in Canberra when I was visiting Maeflower.
That was Before the Cold. Note my Joie de Vivre. Note also my constant use of incorrectly spelled French words & phrases. Perhaps if I keep saying them, I might get to Paris one day.
Now that's the Aspirin Talking.
Maeflower created a Bone of Contention by informing me that Middleagedwomen needed to be v. careful wearing a Jean Jacket because certain JJ's do tend towards Boxiness which can create a kind of a top half of a fridge look, if that makes sense. . But she assured me that this particular thrifted 'Gap' JJ didn't commit that sin. What a relief for us all!
Note I'm carrying a shopping bag that I bought for $2 at 'Typo', a mall store that sells lots of things featuring letters. The bag a rip off from the sadly overused, but still charming, 'Keep Calm & Carry On' poster that last year spread like a Nasty Cold Virus throughout the world.
In case you can't make out the text, it says, 'Keep calm & Carry On Shopping', a sentiment that I totally agree with. Note also, I'm wearing a little diamante encrusted 'Le Tour Eiffel' pendant. There's definitely a theme happening.
Here's my torso taken just when The Cold made its first appearance.
I'm wearing a homemade necklace that I made last year. I must must must make more necklaces. If only that had been one of my New Year Resolutions, I might have actually made some this year.
Still, it's only early March.
I can't really be bothered walking you through the necklace. I'm sure you can see the 'Double C' emblem on it, so you'll know who I'm channelling.
Here's the Rest of Me in a pose reminiscent of a Trussed Chicken. I'm not sure if that's the right term.
Note the Joan Crawford High Notes with the Shoulder Pads & note my ever-so-slightly tanned legs, courtesy of 'Dove' Summer Glow.
Can you see that I'm starting to look a Little Wan by Thursday's Wardrobe photo?
What a total shame that you can't really see the two necklaces that I put together. I spent the day in a lather of self-congratulation at how clever I was. Sadly, you can't really see them. It just looks like a Mass of Black.
By Friday, I'm definitely looking Sick. In fact, I'm pointing my toe in an effort to attract attention to the bottom part of me rather than the cold-infested top part of me.
But I do like this outfit, even though it's a Bit Caze (short for casual) for the classroom. And also a little bit short for a Middleagedteacher. Fortunately, no one appeared to notice, including the School Principal who I had a long conversation with at Morning Tea, or more accurately, 'Recess'. I found myself urging her to stop wasting her time taking long strenuous walks & instead take up running & weights. She looked at me in horror.
Can't believe how much black I've been wearing. It must be The Cold.
Here's me in my Favourite Under-rated Colour, Brown. I do recommend wearing brown, particularly if you are blonde.
It's now 8.20 pm. A New 'Miss Marple' is about to start. I'm bristling with excitement even though I know it won't be that good.
But before I go, I will leave you, Dear Reader with a quote from Helen Gurley Brown. I found her book, 'I'm Wild Again' in the One Dollar Bin at 'Bednobs Etc'.
I wonder if she is still with us? The photo on the front cover makes her look like she's dead & doesn't know it. Perhaps that's Unnecessarily Cruel.
Anyway, here's what Helen says under the heading of 'Awful Women':
'What comes up & grabs me sometimes and chokes the breath away like a mongoose with its jaws around a cobra, is the realisation of how totally terrible women are.'
No wonder it was a dollar.
Sadly, haven't got time to mention The Oscar Red Carpet. Perhaps the only outfit I would wear was what Cate Blanchett wore - do Google it if you don't know what I am talking about. I promise you it will be Almost Worth It.
One last Slightly Exciting Thing- The Ex-School Nurse has given me a real 'Diane Fries' (surely its not really spelt like that. It sounds like it should be on the menu at McDonald's.) Dress. Remember them from the eighties? I'm wearing it tomorrow. That is, if I can get out of bed.