Sincere Gratitude to Italian Shoe Goddess

Shoe Abundance
Originally uploaded by middleagedteacher

OMG! So many shoes! So few feet to wear them!
I'd just come back from my favourite thrift shop, 'Bednobs & Broomsticks' which is conveniently located about 100 metres from school. I'm holding a pair of Italian leather booties that I just bought. I'm wearing a red pair of Italian Bruno Magli shoes that I bought the day before. And the navy pair of also Bruno Maglis had been offloaded by my colleague, The Duchess, whose had been given them by her wealthy mother-in-law who doesn't realise that she's got largish hooves.
Reminder to Daughter Billie-Mae.
Don't forget to pick the boots up from the Post Office.

Failing at eBay

Sadly, my Rage has subsided.
Today I just had a Junior Migraine, which is a Kinder, Gentler version of the All-Singing, All-Dancing, All-Vomiting Major Migraine that I used to regularly get & still do on occasions.
I went home after lunch & got into bed.
I'd love to walk you through my Exact Movements for the rest of today after I got out of bed. But I'll just stick to the highlights.
Activity No. 1. Over a modest dinner of a tuna salad with Persian fetta & baby asparagus, I stoically read the 'Style' section of the Sydney Morning Herald where I discovered that copies of September 2007 'Vogue', which of course has been made famous by the doco of the same name, are now selling on eBay for over one hundred bucks.

I immediately rushed into My Art Room where I have a labyrinthine collection of mags that I use for collages. Would I still have a copy? Or did I throw it out in an uncharacteristic bid to become less cluttered? Or maybe I still have a copy but it's cut to ribbons?

The September Issue wasn't hard to find. It stuck out like dog's balls because of the size.

I eagerly begin flicking through the pages. Almost, but not quite, pristine. Semi-Mint Condition.

How can I become a seller on eBay, I wondered. It mustn't be that hard. But how am I going to manage going to the post office & buying the stamps & sending if off to some far distant shore? That too, mustn't be that hard.

But then I found it. A torn page. And then another one.

My dreams of Sudden eBay Wealth were suddenly, irretrievably over.

I took a picture of my Damaged Magazine just to prove that All This Is True. I've included one of my favourite action figures - Supergirl Whatever Her Name is. She is shoving her entire fist up Sienna Miller's nose, who I didn't think much of in the film. But then again, I wouldn't.

I just loved how Grace Coddington, the creative genius behind Anna & Vogue said that Anna's great strength lay in discovering celebrities made good models that sell magazines. Talk about damning with faint praise. Grace also said that she wouldn't care if they never used celebrities again as models. How fab.

Here's a still of Anna from the film. She looks Almost Saintly.

I'm sure a major part of her allure is that she's a Major Witholder. I hope you know what I mean by this. Because it is getting dangerously close to my bedtime, & I mustn't break my curfew. So I haven't got time to go into it.

But I will. I am practicing to be a Witholder. Actually, I'm being one now.

The Tell Tale Heart
Originally uploaded by middleagedteacher

Oh, before I go, Activity No.2. Before dinner this evening, I spent some time trawling through my 2008 wardrobe remix for flickr sets. Yes, I know. More Rampant Self-Absorption. This one was taken exactly a year ago. I know that at the time I was teaching Gothic Horror, but it's still no excuse for wearing Batwing Sleeves & a Plastic Owl Pendant.

More Fun with Rage

Not Fabulous Fashion at 50
Originally uploaded by middleagedteacher

Every thursday I eagerly await the 'Style' section of 'The Sydney Morning Herald'.
And just about every week, I'm either disgusted or bored or enraged after I read it. Or all three.
It's quite fun, really.
Last week, due to popular demand by all the Old Boilers of Sydney, they did a big centre spread on Fabulous Fashion for Women over 50. I am in this catagory.
A local air hostess & mother who wanted to ignore or disown her Middle Section was the Model. But they called her a 'Style Icon', which I thought was a bit much. But perhaps I'm a Purist.
Anyway, off she trotted to Bondi Westfield with some stylist who decked her out in a whole load of stuff from local retailers. The unifying theme for all the outfits was a Drawstring Waist. Some outfits just had a drawstring waist with a simple cord. The more hideous outfits had a drawstring waist with a huge bow which did wonders to accentuate the previously mentioned disowned middle section.
By far the most hideous outfit combined the huge bow with the colour lime which is a colour that makes everyone look like a vampire.
Can't wait for Thursday

High Heels & Wet Flounders

Can you guess what kind of a mood I may be in?

I'll tell you - Slightly Edgy.

Perhaps Full of rage. Make that Incandescent Rage.

I feel so fed up that I'd like to slap everyone across the face with a Wet Flounder.

I can see that I've now Officially Gone a Little Too Far. I'll be getting phone calls from concerned friends asking me in the special tone of voice that they reserve for speaking to Wounded Mental Patients if I'm OK.

Actually, I'm fine. It's about time that I got a little angry after the way I've been treated. And don't ask me what I mean by that. Let's just say that I've been treated like Gum on the Sole of my ex-partner's shoe for too too long, which is a fabulous quote from I think Rosanne Arnold. She said it after she broke up with Tom Arnold.

Or maybe Cher said it although I can't think who she was breaking up with. It seems so long since she's been married or been with anybody.

Anyway, it was some celebrity or other.

I've discovered a wonderful way to express rage is by wearing high heels. They make the most angry clacking sound when you walk in them.

This past week we've all been made to do Exam Supervision which means being trapped in the School Hall for fifty-five minutes at a time while a hundred girls sit in rows of desks & suck on their pencils & look worried or bored. We're supposed to 'Invigilate' which means roaming the aisles like a pack of Death Eaters from 'Harry Potter' looking out for potential cheaters.

Honestly, it's worse that a Bad Day in Purgatory.

But I decided to wear my Loudest High Heels to Exam Supervision. I'm sure the sound of me merrily clacking down the aisles like I'm on the runway for Ralph Lauren really sent everyone's nerves on edge. It felt fabulous. And I just loved the pained looks on the faces of my Fellow Colleagues who were also on Supervision with me. They, of course, Tiptoe which I'm never going to do again.

One day soon, I'll turn into Senior Anne of Green Gables.

But not quite Now.

I'm having too much fun with High Heels & Flounders.

The Power of Brussel Sprouts

V. recently my daughter Billie-Mae came up from Canberra to spend the week with me. As you can see, we are celebrating with Champagne & Brussel Sprouts.

Mae has become a remarkable cook which sadly, has absolutely nothing to do with me. She is fond of baking brussel sprouts which has always been the Poor Relation of the Vegetable Family.

I think there are two possible reasons for this:

1. A long history by the Depression-era Generation of Over-cooking everything. Apparently when a brussel sprout is treated in this unfair way, a nasty, evil-smelling chemical is released.

2. A certain ambiguity about things associated with Belgium. Don't get me wrong - there are many wonderful things about Belgium - Chocolate & Hercule Poirot & Dries Van Noten, to name but a few.

Perhaps I should scrap No.2. Clearly, I don't know what I am talking about. But that shouldn't come as a surprise.

Anyway, baked Brussel Sprouts have a fabulously velvety but also slightly nutty flavour.

I must go & see 'Julia & Julie' or whatever it's called. Maybe I could get some hints about how to write a food blog.

Talking of food, in eight minutes my Sunday night TV Dinner guests will arrive. We have finished watching 'True Blood', so I think we'll watch 'The United States of Tara' which stars my favourite Australian actor Toni Collette. I amazed that I can say that I have a favourite Australian actor because I hate all that 'Aussie Aussie Aussie' stuff. And I'm not a fan of Cate Blanchett or even Heath Ledger even though he's dead & I often suddenly like people after they've died which I'm almost sure is a Universal Phenomenon.

I'm only making starters tonight as my other guests are bringing the main courses. I have already made my fabulously wonderful guacumole. I was tempted to shove a whole mess of sour cream in it as I saw Nigella Lawson do on her cooking show the other night. But I decided against it after thinking long & hard about Nigella's thighs, which she can get away with, particularly because she is sooo beautiful & married to one of the richest men in the world.

I must rush out & start cooking little strips of Haloumi Cheese which I absolutely adore. Another one of my daughter's influences.

Bon Appetite!

Me & Ornamental Zebras

It's friday late morning.
I'm sitting at my desk in the staffroom with headphones on listening to one of my 'brainwave' meditation tapes which sounds like the Rinse/Spin cycle in a washing machine. Or maybe what a fetus hears inside the womb.

I find it strangely comforting. And besides, it seems to help convert all my incandescent rage into a fairly harmless blog entry.
I would like to talk more about Me & My Rage. And perhaps I will. But not now.
The topic of this blog entry is My Zebra Pin which was generously donated by Darla

I was totally thrilled to get this sent to me from the Other Side of the World. Apparently, the Zebra had been languishing in a dark corner of Darla's Jewellry Collection for some time.

And now it's All Mine.

Let me walk you through the rest of the outfit. A Festival of Spots. The dress could almost be called 'Vintage'. Let's just say that it is.

I must have bought it months ago at 'Bednobs & Broomsticks' & for some reason I shoved it into the back recesses of my wardrobe & forgot about it. After all, I had so many Other Fish to Fry.

Thankfully, I discovered it the morning I decided to wear The Zebra.

The footless tights are from 'American Apparel'. I had my Maiden Visit to this rather famous store last satuday, when my daughter Billie-Mae took me to it.

I've been wondering about Me & Ornamental Zebras. I seem to be attracting many of these Delicate Creatures into my life at the moment. What could this mean?

Am I becoming a black & white person perhaps? No shades of grey?

Or maybe a Pack Animal? I'm sure Zebras roam in packs. Or flocks. Or herds.

Maybe I want to hide? Aren't those stripes supposed to be for camouflage?

God, the possibilities are endless.

Thank you so much Darla. You made my week.

PS. I just realised that you can hardly see the Zebra in the pictures. Just use your imagination.

You Never Know What's Going to Happen Next

About an hour ago, I was sitting on my cozy couch after a dinner of a dozen Pacific Oysters & a large salad watching the News on mute. Occasionally I would turn the sound on if I liked the look of the pictures. But mostly I didn't.

I felt too listless to write a blog entry, even though I was ever so slightly inspired by a story on 'Australian Story' last night about a young man, who after becoming a World Champion Paper Plane thrower & beating a nasty but ultimately benign brain tumour, had discovered the Secret of Happiness, which was, 'Just Do Fun Stuff'.

I must Make a List of things that I might consider fun. And then start doing them.

Anyway, I was on the couch & suddenly out the window I hear a Clarion Call from my youth. Led Zeppelin's 'Whole Lotta Love'. When I was sixteen, Victor Fraser sent me a Valentine with all the words written inside the card. Pity he wasn't a jock.

I became excited. And then remembered when I was trudging home from the supermarket I had noticed tents & lights & stuff being set up in the park across the street from my apartment.

I raced to the window & peered out. It was a Fashion Parade.

I quickly remembered Poor Old Annie Leibowitz, who I just read is Almost Bankrupt & about to lose the rights to all her negatives, before grabbing my camera & bolting out the door, into the lift, & out into the midst of the parade.

A kindly man offered me his spot near a bank of rather professional looking photographers who were all furiously snapping away with their gargantuan lens & flashes .

I felt silly. As if I had a Toy Camera that might have doubled as a water pistol. Or perhaps my old Kodak Instamatic.

But I didn't let it stop me as you can see.

The brand was called 'Love Chile'.

Keith Richards if he was a Woman crossed with Disney Hiawatha with Janis & Jack Daniels High Notes. Maybe a tiny touch of Bette Midler in 'The Rose'. Perhaps a whiff of Dreamcatcher Earrings.

I liked it. But I think that if you're old enough to remember the Look first time around, you shouldn't wear it this time around.

That's not my rule. Of course. But it kind of sounds sassy & smart. Just what I need right now.

The whole thing was over in about ten minutes max.

I put my Toy Camera back in it's case & raced back upstairs to my apartment feeling excited & Rather Smug. I bet no one else in the crowd lives as close as me, I thought.

So, You Never Know What's Going to Happen At Any Moment.

I haven't quite finished even though it's getting Dangerously Close to my Bedtime & I don't want to breach my curfew.

But just quickly on the Above Theme.

Last week, I ran into Tess, one of my Senior Students from the Class of 2008. She looked so fresh & alive & happy, such a contrast from her usual comatose appearance in my class last year. We chatted about her university course & how much she liked it.

This afternoon, as I was walking to class, a Year 12 student was waiting for me.

'Oh Ms, I just thought you'd like to know that Tess's father dropped dead yesterday. Tess was with him. They thought he just had a cold'.

Maybe it's time to start Majorly Making that list of Fun Stuff.

And another two things.

1 Darla - I'm wearing the Zebra pin tomorrow. I just love it.

2. Anna- I'm still really keen to photograph you in those boots & toy jeans.

3. Zizzi - thank you for your interest in S. Sluttiness. I plan to be S.Slutty tomorrow.

4. Janavi - everything looks wonderful pour tous. Definitely a keeper I'd say.