Plating Up a Scrambled Omelette

Right or Happy?

I'm totally forced into writing a blog entry tonite because I can't watch TV & its nowhere near my Official Bedtime. It's 8.21 pm & I've just finished a large plate of what is rapidly becoming a Regular Almost-Mid-Week Dinner - a three organic egg dish which runs a v. fine line between Scrambled Eggs & an Omelette. My desire would be for it to be a Proper Omelette, but sadly, like so much else, it Falls Short. I've tried adding milk. Or leaving out milk. Or adding water. But it always turns out the same: A Scrambled Omelette.

The eggs are thrown into a pan that already has a sliced Roma tomato sprinkled with dried basil cooking in it. Grated cheese & chopped shallots are added. When its cooked, the dish is thrown on to a plate that already has mashed avocado on it. Thinly sliced root vegetables that were baked with a generous sprinkling of Moroccan spice are then thrown onto what becomes a totally overcrowded plate.

I so hate the way that everyone after 'Masterchef' talks about 'Plating up' their food. Like 'plate' can suddenly become an Exciting Verb. I can just imagine my poor Dead Mother delicately 'plating up' the grilled lamb chops & three boiled vegetables that she regularly served my father & me over a couple of decades.

What a wank.

Of course, I'm talking about Food because its Good Food Week in Sydney & I'm always desperate to be Part of the Zeitgeist.

There's been the usual Back-Slappingly Smug Distribution of Hats. Some restaurants lost a hat. Others gained yet another one. Still others got one for the v. first time.

Oops, I just typed 'hate' instead of 'hat'.

Perhaps that's a sign that I should Move On.

Last week, I wrote 'Do you want to be Right or Happy' on the whiteboard to my Year 7 class. They looked at me blankly. Finally, Matilda said, 'I don't get it. Can't you be right & happy at the same time?'

I suppose so.

Frilled Neck Lizard Woman.

In a desperate bid to draw the attention away from a rapidly developing Turkey Neck, I am wearing loads of frills & three intertwining Toy Gold necklaces.

Let me walk you through them:

1. Glomesh snake necklace with Magnetised clasp. I do so love Glomesh. It reminds me of perhaps 1970 etc when everyone's Mother had an Oroton glomesh handbag & matching wallet.

2. Homemade necklace by me featuring the Number Five which of course is a reference to Chanel. You know, Chanel No. 5.

3. Totally Fake Gold Chain that I have convinced myself looks Real.

You may think that wearing loads of gold & frills around the Delicate Neck area would only serve to draw attention to it. Nonsense. People are too distracted to notice.

When I read my whiteboards outside the classroom, I'm Slightly Shocked. They usually look like I'm running a class on Understanding Chakras or Decoding the Tarot rather than an English lesson using texts approved by the Board of Studies.

In the above photo, the subject was Australian poet, Gwen Harwood's, 'The Valediction', a poem on the HSC list that I've managed to turn into 'Linda Goodman's Love Signs', an oracle I often consulted in the long ago past when selecting New Boyfriends.

Please note I'm wearing my thrifted from 'BednobsEtc' genuine 'Valentino' jacket, made from Grey Twill. At least that's what someone told me it was made of.

Here I am yesterday looking like I should be standing in front of a car or some White Goods rather than a whiteboard. Maybe it was my new No Nonsense Tightly Held in Place Sports Bra which I'm now wearing because Miss Jay, the Games Mistress told me that I have to have No Bounce when I run or skip at Boot Camp because everything will droop even more. In fact, when I go Boot Camping, I wear the bra & a crop top over it so that there's Absolutely No Possibility of any Movement.

It's now 9.21 pm. Close enough to my Official Bedtime. I've filled the nite in beautifully. Thank you Darla, Rebecca, El Jay, Janavi & Zizzi for your great comments in the last entry. I particularly loved Mr. Ex-MA's new name -Exma.....get it? Soo funny.