I acknowledge that doing this is Most Unattractive & Rather Aggressive.
But that's exactly what I feel like doing right now.
Spoiler Alert: An Uncharacteristic Moment of Personal Disclosure.
Skip this part if you're not up to it. I don't blame you if you do.
Some of you might remember Mr. Ex-Middleaged. I certainly do.
But in case you don't, or you're New to Mystory, I'll give the tiniest of Backstories:
Once upon a time, Middleagedteacher & Mr. Middleaged (as he was then known) got together. They formed a Blended family with their respective children. Fourteen years passed. The children grew up. Suddenly, Mr. Middleaged left. He then became known as Mr. Ex-Middleaged.
Two years & two months have passed. Middleagedteacher is in Limbo, which she was told in kindergarten was a place where Poor Unbaptised Babies & Perhaps Even Adults go to for Eternity instead of Heaven because they didn't have that Nasty Original Sin wiped from their Souls. It's tough. But Rules are rules.
Anyway, Middleagedteacher, who is just aching to stick 'Poor' in front of her name, still hasn't got a property settlement. She is sad & fearful but always perks up when she sings, 'I am Woman, Hear me Roar', although she is tempted to sing 'Snore' instead of 'roar'.
Back to First Person.
On thursday evening, I arrived home fresh from Boot Camp. I felt rather good because I'd Boxed Magnificently & had held a Plank Pose for a minute. Just when I was mentally planning a sumptous dinner featuring a Rogue Carb, the doorbell rang.
Who could it be?
It was Foxtel, the Cable TV people. They had been sent by Mr. Ex-MA to take my Cable TV away. I begged the Cable Guy to leave it alone. But he took no notice. Instead he gave me instructions on how I could hook up my TV to get free to air channels. I didn't listen which was a shame because now the TV won't work because I incorrectly fiddled with it.
I wish Mr. Ex-MA could have given me warning that my Lifeblood was about to be cut off. But he cannot bring himself to speak to me or even to tell me that he left me for a Slightly Younger, but Perhaps Heftier, Other Woman.
I would sooo love if tiny wings were part of Mainstream Fashion. Like they came built in to jackets or dresses & everyone wore them not just on Special Occasions.
Sadly, the ones I'm wearing were a little too cumbersome. I kept on bumping into things, particularly when I went back to the crowded Staff Lounge at recess when everyone was crowding around the plates of party pies & fairy bread the school generously provides on friday.
My Senior Class have only a few weeks to go before they leave school & do their final hellish exams, The Higher School Certificate. We have been working towards this for nearly two years.
Yesterday, I used my collection of Action Figures to make some last minute points about Race, Class & Gender in Shakespeare's 'As You Like It'. Deedree really got into the spirit of the text when she dressed a v. butch Action Man in one of Barbie's dresses & added flimsy tights for a Slightly Slutty look. Shakespeare loved cross-dressing.
I'm so proud that I've finally taught her something.
My personal favourite of the collection is the Hillary Clinton Nutcracker. It is soo worth clicking on the photo to enlarge it so you can see where the actual Nutcracker is located on her.
Have so much more to say & with a Blank TV Screen to stare at, plenty of time to say it.
But sadly, I've just realised that it's just On my Official Bedtime. So I can't say it after all. Except to briefly mention that I loved Anna Wintour's idle remark to Blake Lively that she doesn't have a personal stylist because she thinks dressing yourself is the Ultimate in Self Expression. You go girlie.
Oh, just in case you were wondering, I've signed up in my own name to Foxtel. But I have to wait for two weeks. And I'm going to get someone to fix the TV. But I MIGHT buy a shiny new HD one to go with The Shiny New Me.