Saturday, September 4, 2010

The Pointing Finger

You may notice that I'm Pointing a Finger at someone in the photo above.
I acknowledge that doing this is Most Unattractive & Rather Aggressive.
But that's exactly what I feel like doing right now.

Spoiler Alert: An Uncharacteristic Moment of Personal Disclosure.
Skip this part if you're not up to it. I don't blame you if you do.
Some of you might remember Mr. Ex-Middleaged. I certainly do.
But in case you don't, or you're New to Mystory, I'll give the tiniest of Backstories:
Once upon a time, Middleagedteacher & Mr. Middleaged (as he was then known) got together. They formed a Blended family with their respective children. Fourteen years passed. The children grew up. Suddenly, Mr. Middleaged left. He then became known as Mr. Ex-Middleaged.
Two years & two months have passed. Middleagedteacher is in Limbo, which she was told in kindergarten was a place where Poor Unbaptised Babies & Perhaps Even Adults go to for Eternity instead of Heaven because they didn't have that Nasty Original Sin wiped from their Souls. It's tough. But Rules are rules.
Anyway, Middleagedteacher, who is just aching to stick 'Poor' in front of her name, still hasn't got a property settlement. She is sad & fearful but always perks up when she sings, 'I am Woman, Hear me Roar', although she is tempted to sing 'Snore' instead of 'roar'.

Back to First Person.
On thursday evening, I arrived home fresh from Boot Camp. I felt rather good because I'd Boxed Magnificently & had held a Plank Pose for a minute. Just when I was mentally planning a sumptous dinner featuring a Rogue Carb, the doorbell rang.
Who could it be?
It was Foxtel, the Cable TV people. They had been sent by Mr. Ex-MA to take my Cable TV away. I begged the Cable Guy to leave it alone. But he took no notice. Instead he gave me instructions on how I could hook up my TV to get free to air channels. I didn't listen which was a shame because now the TV won't work because I incorrectly fiddled with it.
I wish Mr. Ex-MA could have given me warning that my Lifeblood was about to be cut off. But he cannot bring himself to speak to me or even to tell me that he left me for a Slightly Younger, but Perhaps Heftier, Other Woman.

No wonder I'm wearing wings. I've got to do something to cheer myself up.
I would sooo love if tiny wings were part of Mainstream Fashion. Like they came built in to jackets or dresses & everyone wore them not just on Special Occasions.
Sadly, the ones I'm wearing were a little too cumbersome. I kept on bumping into things, particularly when I went back to the crowded Staff Lounge at recess when everyone was crowding around the plates of party pies & fairy bread the school generously provides on friday.

My Senior Class have only a few weeks to go before they leave school & do their final hellish exams, The Higher School Certificate. We have been working towards this for nearly two years.
Yesterday, I used my collection of Action Figures to make some last minute points about Race, Class & Gender in Shakespeare's 'As You Like It'. Deedree really got into the spirit of the text when she dressed a v. butch Action Man in one of Barbie's dresses & added flimsy tights for a Slightly Slutty look. Shakespeare loved cross-dressing.
I'm so proud that I've finally taught her something.

My personal favourite of the collection is the Hillary Clinton Nutcracker. It is soo worth clicking on the photo to enlarge it so you can see where the actual Nutcracker is located on her.

Have so much more to say & with a Blank TV Screen to stare at, plenty of time to say it.
But sadly, I've just realised that it's just On my Official Bedtime. So I can't say it after all. Except to briefly mention that I loved Anna Wintour's idle remark to Blake Lively that she doesn't have a personal stylist because she thinks dressing yourself is the Ultimate in Self Expression. You go girlie.
Oh, just in case you were wondering, I've signed up in my own name to Foxtel. But I have to wait for two weeks. And I'm going to get someone to fix the TV. But I MIGHT buy a shiny new HD one to go with The Shiny New Me.


see you there! said...

Get the shiny new TV, you definately deserve it. Meanwhile use one of those action figures to make a poppet and stick pins in it thinking of Mr You Know Who the whole time.

I can't believe I'm actually suggesting that in your comments. Probably shot my karma in the foot.
I'm leaving it anyhow.


Rebecca said...

Surely you've thought of sicking the Hilary C. Nutcracker on Mr. Ex-M.A.!?

What a dastardly deed he did inflict on you!

Della Street Dreaming said...

Thank you ladies for your supportive comments. I really need them right now. I have actually thought of converting one of my Action Dolls into a voodoo doll & sticking not just pins, but knives into it, but have decided not to follow this path. Not because I'm soo Mother Terera-like, but its only going to keep me stuck in a Sad Stereotype of the Wounded Woman.
love Sue

ladyjanewriter said...

I am in awe of outfit #3, and realized it's a bit Xena Warrior Princess, Middleaged style. Is that a skully ring???

Della Street Dreaming said...

El Jay - you are soo observant! Yes, it is a skully ring - the Jewel in the Crown of my Collection at the moment. I bought it at 'Diva', a chain of shops that has just ventured into the US. Perhaps it has ventured into Chicago. Do look for it. You won't be disappointed.
Zena!!! I never thought of her. Thank You!!

janavi said...

So sorry about the TV. I don't understand most men at all. I have had no TV at all here in NY for about a yr & a half since they changed to digital. I bought the stupid little box but it didn't work. Just a scam.
They always wear wings in the Victoria's Secret shows, seems to work for them.

I think it is absolutely brilliant the way you have been dealing with things the past 2 yrs.I would probably be in bed curled up in a little ball.

Hope things get better SOON !!!!

Anonymous said...

I've been away and have only come back to see that your cable TV has been abruptly cut off. How completely uncivilized of ExMA.

I can only echo what Janavi has said. You're an absolute STAR and one classy broad, if you ask me.

And I don't just say that to anyone.