Thursday, January 29, 2009

Being a Bitch

Today, the School Year Proper began.
When I arrived at my desk in the Staffroom this morning, I found two reasonably lovely surprises sitting on my computer.
The first was a book, loaned by my Young Friend & Colleague, Princess Pip. I know it has a rather unfortunate title. The author, Sherry Someone who I saw interviewed on a vile morning TV show, has rather ill-advised long hair. I have Somewhat Strict Views on hair length which may come as a surprise to you, O Regular Reader. I always think that hair worn much past the shoulders on women over  thirty unless they are Boho Eccentrics or amongst the Super Stylish who know  what they are doing, displays a Lack of Judgement that extends far beyond hair. 
So then, I'm not sure I trust dear Sherry to tell me exactly Why Men Marry Bitches, although I've already read a couple of chapters & have to admit that I found them Soothing.
From what I've worked out, it seems that Sherry's Central Thesis is that Men like Confident Women who answer four maybe five max, out of six of their phone calls. I hope that makes sense. The reason you don't answer them all is because you've got your Own Life & are far far too busy to be bothered. 
You also don't act Too Needy. You don't constantly ask questions like 'Do you love me', which I'm afraid I was guilty of, nor do you ask, 'I need to know where this relationship is going, because I don't want to waste time', which I was never guilty of. 
I was more of the Betty Dormat kind of needy rather than the Imperious Steam Roller kind of Needy.
 But hopefully, with Dear Sherry's help, that's all about to change.

The second reasonably lovely surprise came from another colleague who I've oft mentioned, Aunt Neddy. It's a gorgeous cupie doll who looks Slightly Jaundiced, I'm not sure why. Aunt always know how to please me.

Another thing that pleased me today was the school's New Look Canteen. Everyone is gobsmacked. For years & years, it served up the same old Boring Fare - Vegemite Sandwiches, Soggy Salad Rolls with Faux Cheese, Cardboard muffins & cans of Coke prepared & served by Friendly Mothers. 
So you can imagine our surprise when the canteen opened today with new signs proclaiming that it was a 'Cafe', with 'Coffee' as the Main attraction. I immediately rang my daughter, who is an ex-student of the school & told her. She said, 'that's all very well, Mum, but the Mothers aren't going to be able to make proper coffee'.
No problem. They've installed a black clad Male barista who has the sole stewardship of a large espresso machine. 
Apparently, only the Senior Girls are allowed to buy coffee at this stage. But I'm sure it won't be long before  the Year Sevens will be ordering a Double Macchiato to have with Mum's beautifully packed lunch.
Here I am in the staffroom wearing a genuine 'Acetate' dress probably from the seventies that I bought at a market across the road from my apartment.  
I hope I don't look Too Needy. Heaven Forbid!


see you there! said...

Acetate? When's the last time I heard that word? Cute, and there's the great yellow belt.

Totally agree about long hair with a few exceptions for mature women who can do the ballerina bun sort of thing well. Long grey hair? ACK!

I think I'd like the book.

Enjoy your coffee at work.


janavi said...

My hair is past my shoulders, and I'm past 30, but I thought that rule was long gone. Anyway I' m not a "normal" person
Waiting for your 16 things!

Sonya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sonya said...

I don't think men know a good thing if it whacks them on the side of the head with a hammer; half the time they have to be told a woman is desireable, in the form of OTHER men gloating over some stuck-up, indifferent, ball-busting bitch...LOL...tee hee...

Judy Wise said...

hee hee. You don't look needy at all!