Style Me Middleagedteacher

I feel blocked.

I type.

And then I delete.

Perhaps its the heat.

I can see that I'm going to have to take Drastic Measures.

That means only One Thing:

Numbered Points.

If I could make this line rhyme, it would be A Poem.

Perhaps it is anyway.

A Middleaged Haiku.

1. Yesterday, Lily, a fourteen year old student of mine told me & the class that when she found out about sex, she still believed in Santa. Everyone else in the class nodded in recognition. Fifi, another student said that a seven year old that she teaches dancing to told her that 'Three', sung by Britney Spears was about 'a threesome'.

2. I want my own show on 'The Style Network' which has just this past two weeks finally arrived in Australia. Last night I watched 'Style Me Famous' where a substitute teacher who just missed out on being a dwarf was given a makeover to look like Towering Inferno Gweneth Paltrow. I can't think of one celebrity who I would want to be madeover to look like.

Oh, maybe Tori Spelling.

My show would be called 'Style Me Middleagedteacher'. Each week, one lucky contestant would be taken thrift shopping to my favourite store, 'Bednobs Etc' by me where I would personally select a whole wardrobe for her. Then she'd get her own photo shoot complete with Wind Machines in my classroom next to the whiteboard. Maddie, my Personal Classroom Photographer would take the photos.

3. In almost eight days, I'm going on Summer Holidays. The school will shut. This year I'm going to enjoy it & not trawl around the streets of Potts Point for seven weeks like a poor old woman dragging a little wagon of potatoes behind her.

4. I love Bubble Skirts. Yesterday when I was trudging home from school I became Gripped With Panic when it suddenly occurred to me that perhaps they'd gone out of fashion & I hadn't noticed.

Thankfully, I quickly remembered that I Don't Give A Stuff About Being in Fashion.