Snail Reading

In my last post I said I suffered from Snail Reading.

Here's a picture of a snail that I took in the Hotel Garden in Ubud.

Carrying On About Carry On

I hope I'm not Lapsing in Smugness. But I just had to show you my Carry On Only Luggage that contained my Black Bali Wardrobe.

I just loved the fact that when I got off the plane I didn't have to stand there like a Mindless Martinet following the Baggage Carousel going round & round with everybody's suitcase on it but mine.

You know, some of the Worst Moments of Panic in my Life have been at Baggage Carousels. What was I thinking?

Would it have really mattered if my luggage never arrived?

I must hop into bed immediately & ponder these Important Questions as well as some other Important Ones. Like, do I know the difference between 'However' & 'Nevertheless'?

Do you?

I have Clean Sheets to look forward to. And I'm still reading the book in the photo. I love it. But I suffer from Snail Reading.

Black Bali Wardrobe

I can't decide if I'm Bristling with Rage or Frustration. Perhaps both.

There's also a Petite Soupcon of Sadness lingering in the background.

Don't you just love how seamlessly I can lapse in Franglais?

It's one of my Many Talents which one day I will list for you so you'll know.

But I digress.

For simply days, I have been unsuccessfully trying to upload a little movie that Jenny & I made in our Hotel Paradiso Room.

I just can't make it happen.

So I will just have to Let It Go. Along with my Youth, Beauty, Teeth & Hearing.

Yes, you heard it. Hearing. Jenny thinks that I'm losing my hearing because I'm always saying 'What?' or 'Pardon'. I hope & pray it's just because my Internal Voice is so loud that it drowns out Outside Voices.

Yes. Teeth too. I need possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of Dental Work.

I'm still digressing.

This is supposed to be a Blog Post about my Black Bali Wardrobe (BBW). All completely thrifted from 'BednobsEtc' except for the sandals that were both bought at k-Mart.

I would like to think that my BBW worked like a Treat . And it all fitted into my Modest Carry On Bag which the Strict Woman at the Jetstar check-in counter insisted on weighing.

8.2 kilograms. Jenny's was 9.2 kilos. She never got over it. How come Excessive Me beat Minimalist Her by a kilo?

It was all in the Planning.

Look look look above at No. 1 Black Outfit, a lacy 'Zimmerman' dress that had a tiered effect that was not terribly slimming. I'm sitting on the imposing steps leading up to my impressive room at the Tchaumpuan Hotel in Ubud.

Sadly, because the black attracted the heat, my hair is soaked in sweat, a condition which persisted throughout my stay in Bali. A small price to pay for Blackness.

Black Outfit No 2: Top & skirt. Not much to say really. Except that I'm wearing my huge Chandelier black earrings that you can't see properly. And that I'm pretending to be standing in front of a temple but really it was some kind of homestay/accommodation in Ubud.

Jenny & I made a point of avoiding anything of Cultural Interest like Temple visits or Balinese Dancing Exhibitions. We just weren't in the mood. And besides, we did it before. Like thirty years before.

I found the sound of Multitudes of Incessant Bells accompanied by V. Loud Drums excessive. That is what I think they dance to.

And I don't want to do anything to worsen my hearing, do I?

Outfit No. 3: Bonds singlet & necklace of black flowers.

It's amazing what Mood Lighting in a restaurant can do. At least my right upper arm looks like its got some Definition. Sadly, the other arm doesn't.

That's me after a Mai Tai & a gin & tonic & a whole load of Mei Goreng at 'Casa Luna' restaurant in Ubud.

I felt Slightly Sick the next day.

Outfit No. 4: Black lace 'Zimmerman' dress with Laura Ashlesesque Overtones Straw Hat. Silver Bag that I later donated to Bali after I bought a couple of 'Designer' Bags.

This was the verandah outside my room in Ubud.

Lastly, here's the Whole Fleet of Clothes & accessories on the beautifully made bed with accompanying flower.

Proof

Remember The Hotel Inferno?

These are the photos of Fellow Traveller Jenny & I that Absolutely Proves that our Hotel in Seminyak, Bali WAS a Hell Hole.

Don't be swayed by the Ornamental Door. That was just a trick. Trust me, what was inside was Chilling.

At home last night, when I was semi-luxuriating in my v. cozy Empty-But-Me King Size Bed, I started imagining being stuck in That Room for all Eternity.

'Ol Dante couldn't have imagined a worse scenario.

Hotel Paradiso

Jenny & I are sitting back in the Internet Cafe.
We are Filling in Time before we head off to Denpasar Airport.
But don't think that this Blog Entry is merely A Filler.
No. It contains Real Meat.

We have just spent a few hours in Totally Over the Top Kuta where it is quite possible to be mowed down by the multitudes of motor bike riders that cruise the narrow streets & laneways like swarms of mosquitoes. The Pedestrian has No Rights in Bali. The Scooter Rules. The Taxi Rules.
I am finding myself getting into quite a state over this which I'm sure is due to the Excessive Heat & the fact that I am wearing almost my complete Black wardrobe At Once, one on top of the other, because I want to fit into my tiny Carry On Bag large quantities of painted wooden souvenirs that I've just honed my Rather Lame bargaining skills on.
I now have some understanding what it must have been like for Victorian Ladies sweltering in the Tropical Heat in say India during the Raj.

Yesterday, we checked out of Hotel Inferno & into Hotel Paradiso down the road. You have no idea what a difference a couple of hundred or so dollars can make a night.
Sadly, I can't show you any photos yet. That will have to wait until I get home which will be in about twelve hours.
I wish I knew what Farewell was in Balinese, or is it Indonesian they speak? But I don't know anything at all about Bali. Nothing. I can hardly understand the currency which I've been Madly Spending for almost a week. All I know that the denominations are enormous. Which makes everything seem hugely expensive. Like two million rupiah is about two hundred USD.

Hotel Inferno

I've finally cracked.
It is nite. I found an air-conditioned Internet Cafe in Seminyak Bali almost next door to the Totally Rancid Hotel Paradiso where Jenny & I are Sadly Staying.
It is just soo right that the name of the Hotel has Dantesque References. But its True Name is Hotel Inferno. Although the doors of the rooms we are staying in are made of beautifully ornate carved wood, what's inside is Almost Chilling.
I am Definitely Not getting into the Evil Bath even though I have been sweating profusely all day inside a mountain of black clothes & a straw hat & a Balinese Sarong. I must smell like a Used Dish Rag. Perhaps I can splash some water over the Important Parts.
Tomorrow we are checking into a Swanky Hotel right on the Seminyak Beach.
We just couldn't hack a second nite there. We're too old, fragile, emotionally volatile, fussy & squeamish.
And we just couldn't stand the contrast with the past four nights of Uber-Splendour in Ubud. I'm too tired & emotional to be bothered telling you about this right now.
Let's save it till later.
Meanwhile, I'll toddle back to The Hotel Inferno & turn my nose up at the little group of tattooed Aussie Blokes playing pool in the Hotel Bar while the Hotel Public Address System blares out Loud Asian Piano Melodies of Broadway Show tunes & Barry Manilow hits.
Sadly, I couldn't include any photos in this post.
I'm sure you can imagine some.
I have well over 250 already. And I've got a day & a half to go.

The Dowager with Punk Overtones

Packing for Bali.

Some may say that discussing packing for a v. brief holiday is Slightly Banal.

Others may disagree.

For me, the Jury is Out. It may be Banal. But it also could be instructive. Perhaps.

In Summary:

1. I am only taking black including a straw hat with a big black bow that I bought today at 'BednobsEtc' which I sincerely hope is Not Too Laura Ashleyesque.

Ah! Laura Ashley. I wonder if anyone remembers her?

All those Voluminous White Floor length dresses with short puffy sleeves & lace bibs that came with detachable Pinafores that made you feel like you were one of the Bennet Sisters. Or maybe in an English Orphanage in the 1800s.

Absolutely No One Ever Looked Good in them even if you thought you did at the time.

And I'll even tell you the year of the White Laura Ashley Dress with Absolute Certainty. 1974.

I know because I was selling them in my role as the Manageress of the 'Seventeen Shop' at Grace Bros department store in Bondi, Sydney.

Now there's a word you don't hear much of these days. Manageress. Just like Poetess or Editoress or Sculpturess.

Can't think of any others. I'm sure there's more.

2. Luckily I got some Packing Tips yesterday from George Clooney in 'Up in the Air'. His character spent his entire life on planes & sneered at anyone who didn't just do Carry On or who didn't know to wear Slip On shoes.

I am wearing my trusty Rubber Flip Flops that I really want to call Thongs on the plane . I know that I look Daggily Bogan in them but to me they symbolise Summer just as much as Mangoes. But I am taking my Gladiators as well as the Entirely Sythetic 'Betty Boop' brand sandals featured above that I bought at K-Mart.. And I'm going to wear lots of Butch Arm Candy like above & Pearls as well.

So it will be Butch Pearly Queen. Or maybe Dowager.

The Story of My Life Over a Glass of White Whine.

Last night I attended an Art Opening. I loved it. I met Liz who I told almost, but not quite, the Entire Story of My Life whilst surrounded by hoards of wine-swilling Art Patrons. She was great.

But back to me.

I am looking suitably Dowageresque holding my Vivienne Westwood Handbag like Margaret Thatcher. Not now, but in her heyday. Note my Pearls.

Eyebrows .

I am showing off my Highly Disciplined Eyebrows which I'm almost as proud of as my 'Dove' Toy Tanned Legs. Every three weeks they are rigidly waxed & dyed at Eyebrow Boot Camp. Its given me a whole new interest in Life.

Note the Pearls again.

Lastly.

Here I am with my great friend Jenny who is thankfully accompanying me to Bali.

My Early Packing is clearly Infectious as she has also begun to pack, although not as compactly as me.

Oh dear, I hope a Hint of Smugness isn't creeping in.

Lastly Lastly.

1. I now have a Serious Problem with both Robert Downey Jnr. & George Clooney. In fact, as I type, I'm watching RDJnr in 'Tropic Thunder' on mute. I hope that I'm not going back to Puberty/Mid Adolescence/Late Adolescence when, or is it 'where'? I spent a large chunk of my life fantasising over Paul Newman & Robert Redford. Or going back even earlier & imagining that Poor Cynthia Lennon had tragically died in a skiing accident & of course John just had to fall for me.Even though I was only eleven.

I thought those days were well & truly over.

2. Not taking computer with me to Bali. How will I cope?

The Sartorial Gladiator

Bali & Me

Last time I went to Bali was in 1983.

I'm going again on Sunday for six nights.

It's cheaper to go there than it is to have a holiday in Queensland or Byron Bay (Australian beach holiday destinations).

I'm going with my Great Friend Jenny.

Even thought we are both Quite Timid, we are not particularly frightened of being involved in a Terrorist Attack even though there was kind of a warning about one last month.

How Brave! How Adventurous !

However, just to be on the Safe Side, we do not intend to frequent night clubs or shopping malls as they are favourite spots for Terrorist Activity so I've read.

Balinese Outfits

Of course, the main thing on my mind is What to Pack. What to Wear.

We are only allowed to take Carry On Luggage. It was cheaper.

I'm quite excited about this as it is a challenge.

I'm trying to come up with six or seven different outfits that can be squashed into a normal size Plastic Bag. Not that I'm using a Plastic Bag as my carry on Luggage. Heaven Forbid.

Jenny is Severely Wedded to Pants which take up space.

I, thankfully am not . Except of course, I do love my Harem Pants which I plan to wear on the plane.

So, I think I can do it.

I have decided to wear only Black with Slightly Slutty Big Bling Gladiatorial References. I hope that this isn't offensive to the Balinese. I know that they don't like nudity which of course won't be a problem for me because I'm at my most comfortable when I'm completely swathed in clothes & jewels.

Except that since I've been Artificially Self-Tanning with 'Dove' Instant Tan, I have been showing off the lower section of my legs.

And of course, my toenails. Ever since I started back with the pedicures from USA Nails.

Sartorially Gladiatorial.

Yesterday I went to K Mart.

I plan to go again tomorrow.

I bought these Gladiatorial Sandals which some people may think are a Little Gimmicky & perhaps a tad Young for Me. Where I come from, The Gladiators are v. popular amongst our constantly shifting population of British Backpackers.

But I'd been desperately yearning for a pair from the moment that I first saw them some time back. I had successfully resisted the urge but yesterday I cracked.

They were only fifteen bucks.

Massive Bling

My favourite Shop of All Time, the magical 'Bednobs & Broomsticks' Charity Shop has been closed for the holidays for three weeks.

I imagined that during this hiatus my Life would Lose Meaning. Or at the v. least, I would go into Deep Mourning.

Nothing of the sort happened.

Instead, my other Favourite Shop of All Time, 'Diva' had a massive sale. Since Boxing Day, I've been going there every day & buying Massive Bling for five bucks each.

I'm now trying to think what my Rapper Name is.

I can't think.

Must hop into bed immediately just like my sleep role Model, Badger. Tomorrow I'm going to the morning session of George Clooney's movie, 'Up in the Air' with my now Movie Buddy, Trixie.

The Transformational Power of Art , Sleep & Headings

The Joy of Headings!

Oh, I so love how I've suddenly found Headings!

I do recommend them. I feel almost, but not quite, Official. Or perhaps Professional.

Or Organised. Like I've planned ahead.

And maybe I have.

Art & Me

And look at how Seamlessly the simple heading allows me to segue from one topic to the next!

Last week while I was toiling in my ArtRoom, I was listening on the radio to an interview with John Kaldor, Australia's Most Generous Contemporary Art Patron. It seems that just about every major Museum in Sydney (if not the rest of the country) is awash with Dear John's taste in Modern Art. He absolutely adores that Major Wrapper, Christo who came to Sydney back in '69 to wrap up a piece of our coastline. You may recall that a few years ago Christo & his now sadly deceased wife, Jeanne Something did something special to Central Park in NYC & called it 'The Gates'.

Anyway, the Slobbering Interviewer earnestly asked John what his definition of Art was.

I immediately Picked up my Ears. Or is it 'Pricked up My Ears'?

And he said 'Art is Transforming What We Take for Granted'.

I must admit that I'm a sucker for anything with the word 'Transform' in it. So I liked it.

And in fact, I liked it soo much that I made this little Homage to John's Words.

You may be wondering who is the Sturdy Lass with the pith helmet sitting astride the Dwarf Rhinoceros.

She is an almost forgotten Australian writer called Eve Langley. Her most famous book is called 'The Pea Pickers', which I think is an inspired title. Of course I haven't read it.

I just love the picture of Poor Eve, who I think had rather a tragic life.

Rather like my own life really. Earlier this evening, a close friend of mine rang & merrily referred to both of us as 'War Widows'. I roared with laughter.

The Art of Sleep

I've been slightly following Arianna of The Huffington Post's 2010 Sleep Challenge. As I've mentioned, she's challenging the Poor Underslept Women of America to get more sleep.

I, of course am Well Ahead of the game as I created my Own Sleep Challenge last year with the imposition of a Strict Bedtime Regime & a ban on my Mobile Phone in the bedroom.

Of course, truckloads of people have been writing v. long comments to Arianna's blog posts. Everyone's got their own v. special Helpful Hint (s) about how to grow more sleep.

Magnesium is a hot favourite.

And of course , Coffee. Every time I read the Readers' Comments, I feel slightly guilty. There's always someone who can tell you something awful. Like how poor peasants in Developing Countries are being starved to death because they're being forced to grow useless crops like coffee instead of real food because Selfish Over-Stuffed People like Me have an insatiable desire to sip lattes all day.

Mr Badger is Poster Boy for Sleep

I love 'Wind in the Willows'. And I still have my copy that I was given in Christmas '60. Which is where these illustrations come from.

My favourite part was when Mole went wandering off to the Wild Wood & got into a Terrible Pickle but then was rescued by Ratty who found the brass name plate of Mr Badger's house in the nick of time.

Badger was just hopping into bed when they knocked at his door. He good-naturedly got out of bed & filled them up with all sorts of food until they nearly exploded. And then he took them down a number of passages to the Spare Bedroom where two beds with spotlessly clean white linen sheets scented with lavender were nestled in between large sacks of tempting winter stores.

And then everyone fell asleep.

Heaven on a Stick.

Wear What You Can Get Away With

My Default Dinner.

It is nite. I have just eaten a v. large Tuna Salad which I like to call My Default Dinner.

Anytime I don't know what to have for dinner, I have it.

I may have My Default Dinner up to four or five times in a week.

Tonite's salad contained Weight Watchers Cottage Cheese, semi-sundried tomatoes & Oiled-Up Eggplant, Avocado, shallots, baby tomatoes, shallots, iceberg lettuce, capsicum, shallots & a half a mango.

I like Cooking with Fruit. And I have made a Commitment to eat a Mango every day throughout Summer. Just so I can Eat Summer not just Feel Summer. If that makes sense.

The World of Headings

OMG. I just discovered Headings! And Colourful Ones as well!!

Why didn't I think of using them before, I wonder?

Things just keep on Evolving. Don't they?

The Gift

Sometimes I come home & find a little something at my front door. Not v. often.

Today was one such day. I arrived home in the early evening exhausted from attending The Body Balance class at my gym.

To my utter delight, there was the Louis Vuitton bag shown above pressed against my front door.

I dropped everything & ran to it, squealing in delight like a stuck pig.

I know that sounds gross. But I couldn't help saying that even though I don't know what it means, & probably don't want to know either.

Anyway, it was a thank you gift from my Young Neighbours upstairs, who came for drinks a couple of nite's ago.

Coasters. Especially crafted in Vietnam using Ancient Time-Honoured Techniques by Skilled Artisans who have honed their Craft over Many Centuries.

So grateful. Soo lucky.

Can't Give Advice.

I read another Fashion Blog tonite. I won't say which one. But it offers to Solve Fashion Problems for you.

The most recent post posed Ethical Questions about wearing Sexy to Work. You know, like a pencil skirt & a low neckline.

Truckloads of People with V. Strong Views left v. long, well-thought-out comments referencing Seventh Wave Feminism & other High-Falutin Ideas.

I noted that the word 'Offence' or 'Offended' was the most popular word used. Everyone was offended about something. And for good reason too.

Oh God, there's soo many things to be Offended About. Like Sick People who constantly cough all over Doctor's Waiting Rooms while you're sitting there hating them & being offended. Which is what happened to me today when I suddenly rushed off to the doctor after the Optometrist, who checked my middleagedeyes for Degeneration this morning, noticed that there was something odd about my left eye's blood vessels which could be a sign of High Blood Pressure.

As soon as she said that, I felt immediately guilty about my Unhealthy Relationship with Salt.

I knew that it would get me in the end.

But then I found out my blood pressure was Completely Normal. Just like the rest of me.

I'm now not giving up salt. What else have I got in Life?

But I am going to Seriously Give Up Sparkling Water as the Know-All Beautician told me that it leaches all the calcium from my bones. How Hideous.

Maybe I should ditch the Hankerchief Hem Skirt Look. I can't decide. Should a middleagedwoman wear one. Perhaps I should consult A Fashion Blog.

On Second Thoughts, Here's Some Advice.

My advice about Wearing Clothes to Work is: Wear What You Can Get Away With.

That's exactly what I do.

Jewellry Corner

My favourite Jewel shop, 'Diva' has been having an amazing $5 sale. So I've been buying like crazy. The Big Black Chandeliers were among yesterday's purchases & the long pendant I put together from a number of things. I'm not sure what you call them - they're like Horns or maybe Little Chilis.

'Diva' has shops I think in the UK & certainly in Australia. And they've just opened one in the Mall in Thousand Oaks California, the only one so far in the US. It's a little weird because that's the home of my Best Friend Marge. We both thought that it was Strangely Synchronous.

Life in Numbered Points

1. This is going to be quick.

I have a bed to hop into & a book to read.

But I wanted to mention what I got for Christmas before it became Easter.

I DiD NoT get this Adorable Puppy that my Ex-Husband Gumby is holding & who is sitting rather unhygienically on my kitchen island, which in case you were wondering is made of some green stone that was popular during the Great Depression.

You also may be wondering if my ex-husband is the same as Mr. Ex-Middleaged. Sadly no.

Gumby is my daughter's dad. He is NOT Mr. Ex-Middleaged.

Gumby talks to me. And in fact stayed at my apartment with my daughter & I on Christmas nite.

Mr. Ex-Middleaged doesn't talk to me. The only contact I have with him is through my lawyer. I am v. sad about this. It's as if I'm living this part of my life in a Really Hateful & Hurtful Parallel Universe.

I'm sure at least some of you are wondering what I did to Mr. Ex-Middleaged to make him not speak to me.

The truth is, I don't know.

I think that I was just Old Cow. And New Cow is more alluring. Maybe.

2. I was going to delete the above. But I decided against it. Let it stay, I say!

Instead, I'll just move onto Point No. 2. Oh dear, I didn't tell you what I got for Christmas.

I can't be bothered telling you now. I'll just leave it up to your imagination.

3. This is a Genuine Point. Note the necklace with a tiny Buddha that I've wound around my wrist a few times.

I'm hoping to start a New Trend. Except that it keeps on getting caught on things. But who cares about Practicalities when Beauty is at stake.

4. Lastly, this is what I wore today. I bought it early last year when I was still buying New Clothes. It was $6.95 at a Cheap Landfill Shop which fortunately is No More. I was going to Give It The Chop but before I did, I decided to give it One More Go.

When I put it on this morning, I was pleasantly surprised. This is Almost Resort Wear, I said to myself.

Wrong. It looks like an Indonesian Tablecloth.

5. Lastly lastly, I have soo much more to say & I'm going to say it in about sixty seconds..........

I read in the Huffington Post today that Arianna is challenging all the Women of America to make Sleep their New Year's Resolution. She thinks that the WoA are so busy being busy & caring etc. that they don't sleep enough.

Arianna herself is aiming for about eight hours a night which she thinks is the optimum amount for Creativity & General Wonderfulness.

I just want to tell Arianna that Sleep is Not that Simple. Particularly as we get older.

But it's my bedtime now so I can't tell her.

Manyana.

Toy Gin & Tonic

Faux Gin & Tonic
Originally uploaded by middleagedteacher

I invited the upstairs neighbours down for a drink & nibbles. Two v. lovely young men. I plied them with stiff gins, but decided to abstain myself. I just kept on filling my glass up with tonic water. I'm such a Wowser.
Am not sure the point of this story. Or if there is one.
Although I was entertaining, I was barefoot. Which fitted in perfectly with my guests who are from Hawaii. Well, one half of the guests is. Apparently, Hawaiians don't wear shoes inside the house.
The other half of the guests manages the Louis Vuitton store in Sydney. In fact, it's just about to be transformed into a Mega Maison Store, one of only nine in the world. I can't possibly imagine who the hell shops at Louis Vuitton in Sydney. I thought that the only people who shop there would be Japanese Tourists, but I was assured that that wasn't the case.
Anyway, I won't go on & on about this. Instead, I'll use this as a Perfect Segue to mention my v. own Designer Label Dilemma from yesterday.
You may recall that last night I was fearing going to bed because I knew that I'd wrestle for hours in the dark with the idea of buying a 'Chanel' scarf that I'd seen & fondled that v. day at the 'Chanel' shop at Bondi Westfield. I was informed by the Helpful Sales Asst. that it was 'Seasonal', which is code for, Buy it Now because We Won't Have It Later. And You'll Kick Yourself When You Come Back Months Later & It Won't Be There.
Luckily, I went to bed & promptly fell asleep, waking possibly at the end of every sleep cycle, which roughly goes for about two hours, to go to the bathroom & check the position of The Moon.
When I awoke the next morning, I rushed to the computer.
I was sooo pleased when I received A Reality Sandwich from Rebecca & Darla, who both made me realise the silliness of buying a scarf for nearly six hundred bucks, particularly when I'm trying to grow a really Frugal & Sensible Person from the inside.

Oh, talking of Sensible & Kind-Of Frugal, but with a V. Creative Twist, Sheila from Ephemera wrote an interesting recap of her adventures with not buying new clothes for a year, a goal she completed this week.

Fantastic Mrs Middleagedteacher Fox

Welcome.

Look look look at me above.

I promise you that I certainly wasn't trying to look Kittenish. It was a mistake. I was simply trying to show off my Loud Diamante bracelet that I bought at the 'Diva' sale for five bucks. If you strain your eyes, you might be able to make it out.

I would Never Knowingly Look Kittenish in any photograph. And definitely NOT in an Important Document like a daily wardrobe photo.

The Days of Looking Kittenish are well & truly over.

And I'm not sorry .

I have Other Fish to Fry.

It's now 10.30pm.

When I woke up this morning, I read Zizzi's comments for the previous blog entry.

She kindly reminded me of my Strict Bedtime Regime.

Sadly, over the holidays, Bedtime has become a little Ragged Around the Edges.

Last night, I found myself lying in bed reading Audrey Niffenegger's 'Her Fearful Symmetry' at quite a late hour.

Initially I was shocked & immediately reached over to turn the light off.

But then I thought, 'What the Hell! It's Holiday Time! Set your Chickens Free!'

I turned the light off anyway.

Talking of Chickens, I went to see 'Fantastic Mr. Fox' yesterday with Trixie Drew, my friend & colleague.

We both loved it.

I'd love to tell you all about it.

But you Might be Quite Bored if I did.

Instead, I'll just recommend it. You can take a child to see it if you have one.

But you can enjoy it just as well without one.

Talking of Filmgoing, I went to see 'Bright Star' with daughter Maeflower & friend Marge who sadly has now gone back to California.

Who would have thought that Sickly John Keats & his girlfriend Fanny's relationship was 'The Greatest Love Story that's Never Been Told'?

Jane Campion, a New Zealander who we Australians claim as our own as well as Dear Russell Crowe, directed it.

Mae checked her phone at regular intervals throughout the entire film which more or less summed up our collective experience of it.

Every time Poor Sickly Keats started coughing during the film (he died of something that involved coughing which I'm sure nowadays could be easily cured with a dose of anti-biotics), I started thinking about the pathetic time I had last february when I tried to teach my Senior Class 'Ode on a Grecian Urn'. Or is it 'Ode To a Grecian Urn'?

Whatever it's called, it was Pure Torture for all of us.

It's now 10.46pm.

I must get into bed & wrestle with the idea of buying a 'Chanel' scarf for $560. Today I went into the 'Chanel' shop at Bondi Westfield & fondled them.

An unusually chatty sales assistant told me that the scarves were 'Seasonal' which meant that they're not there all the time like the 2.55 quilted handbags that start at $4000 always are.

The Toy New Year's Eve Party

Well, I thought I'd better pull my finger out & post these photos of my Wonderful NYE09 Toy Party before it was Too Late.

And Toy Party it was! The V. Strict Head Prefect who runs my apartment building issued an edict which she posted in the Lift, decreeing that a Maximum of Eight People Per Apartment Only were allowed on the roof to view the fireworks.

It was a Public Liability Issue. Someone might throw a bottle of champagne off the roof. Or perhaps Another Reveller.

And Absolutely No Stiletto Heels on the Roof. They might punch unsightly holes in the bitumen or asbestos or whatever the roof is made of.

Look above at Four of the Toy Party Attendees including Me.

It was V. Hot & Steamy. That's why we're all wearing singlets. Except that Marge & Jenny are modestly covering up their Middleagedarms with lumberjack style shirts.

Entirely unnecessary of course. They've both got arms like Tennis Players.

Earlier, I was elegantly dressed. Rather like a Mourner at a Garden Party maybe in the 1950s. I wore a necklace of cream & black flowers that I'd bought earlier that day at my favourite cheap jewellry shop of all time, 'Diva'. Billie-Mae looks Athletically Ravishing in a simple singlet.

Here's the view from the roof at midnight. I hope you can make out the Harbour Bridge & the Opera House.

People buy tickets & queue for hours to see the fireworks in Sydney on NYE. All I have to do is walk up two flights of stairs as the Head Prefect turns the lifts off on NYE .

I'm so lucky.

Of course, the next day the Sydney Morning Herald smugly proclaimed that Our Party was the biggest in the world.

I'm sure it wasn't.

Lastly, here's Another Guest. The Cupcake Goblin.

I spent the entire night either eating these Little Gems or obsessing over how many I'd eaten.

Lastly, lastly, I hope you've got a Whole Swag of New Year's Resolutions made up.

I haven't bothered.