The Sartorial Gladiator

Bali & Me

Last time I went to Bali was in 1983.

I'm going again on Sunday for six nights.

It's cheaper to go there than it is to have a holiday in Queensland or Byron Bay (Australian beach holiday destinations).

I'm going with my Great Friend Jenny.

Even thought we are both Quite Timid, we are not particularly frightened of being involved in a Terrorist Attack even though there was kind of a warning about one last month.

How Brave! How Adventurous !

However, just to be on the Safe Side, we do not intend to frequent night clubs or shopping malls as they are favourite spots for Terrorist Activity so I've read.

Balinese Outfits

Of course, the main thing on my mind is What to Pack. What to Wear.

We are only allowed to take Carry On Luggage. It was cheaper.

I'm quite excited about this as it is a challenge.

I'm trying to come up with six or seven different outfits that can be squashed into a normal size Plastic Bag. Not that I'm using a Plastic Bag as my carry on Luggage. Heaven Forbid.

Jenny is Severely Wedded to Pants which take up space.

I, thankfully am not . Except of course, I do love my Harem Pants which I plan to wear on the plane.

So, I think I can do it.

I have decided to wear only Black with Slightly Slutty Big Bling Gladiatorial References. I hope that this isn't offensive to the Balinese. I know that they don't like nudity which of course won't be a problem for me because I'm at my most comfortable when I'm completely swathed in clothes & jewels.

Except that since I've been Artificially Self-Tanning with 'Dove' Instant Tan, I have been showing off the lower section of my legs.

And of course, my toenails. Ever since I started back with the pedicures from USA Nails.

Sartorially Gladiatorial.

Yesterday I went to K Mart.

I plan to go again tomorrow.

I bought these Gladiatorial Sandals which some people may think are a Little Gimmicky & perhaps a tad Young for Me. Where I come from, The Gladiators are v. popular amongst our constantly shifting population of British Backpackers.

But I'd been desperately yearning for a pair from the moment that I first saw them some time back. I had successfully resisted the urge but yesterday I cracked.

They were only fifteen bucks.

Massive Bling

My favourite Shop of All Time, the magical 'Bednobs & Broomsticks' Charity Shop has been closed for the holidays for three weeks.

I imagined that during this hiatus my Life would Lose Meaning. Or at the v. least, I would go into Deep Mourning.

Nothing of the sort happened.

Instead, my other Favourite Shop of All Time, 'Diva' had a massive sale. Since Boxing Day, I've been going there every day & buying Massive Bling for five bucks each.

I'm now trying to think what my Rapper Name is.

I can't think.

Must hop into bed immediately just like my sleep role Model, Badger. Tomorrow I'm going to the morning session of George Clooney's movie, 'Up in the Air' with my now Movie Buddy, Trixie.