Friday, January 15, 2010

The Dowager with Punk Overtones

Packing for Bali.
Some may say that discussing packing for a v. brief holiday is Slightly Banal.
Others may disagree.
For me, the Jury is Out. It may be Banal. But it also could be instructive. Perhaps.

In Summary:
1. I am only taking black including a straw hat with a big black bow that I bought today at 'BednobsEtc' which I sincerely hope is Not Too Laura Ashleyesque.
Ah! Laura Ashley. I wonder if anyone remembers her?
All those Voluminous White Floor length dresses with short puffy sleeves & lace bibs that came with detachable Pinafores that made you feel like you were one of the Bennet Sisters. Or maybe in an English Orphanage in the 1800s.
Absolutely No One Ever Looked Good in them even if you thought you did at the time.
And I'll even tell you the year of the White Laura Ashley Dress with Absolute Certainty. 1974.
I know because I was selling them in my role as the Manageress of the 'Seventeen Shop' at Grace Bros department store in Bondi, Sydney.
Now there's a word you don't hear much of these days. Manageress. Just like Poetess or Editoress or Sculpturess.
Can't think of any others. I'm sure there's more.

2. Luckily I got some Packing Tips yesterday from George Clooney in 'Up in the Air'. His character spent his entire life on planes & sneered at anyone who didn't just do Carry On or who didn't know to wear Slip On shoes.
I am wearing my trusty Rubber Flip Flops that I really want to call Thongs on the plane . I know that I look Daggily Bogan in them but to me they symbolise Summer just as much as Mangoes. But I am taking my Gladiators as well as the Entirely Sythetic 'Betty Boop' brand sandals featured above that I bought at K-Mart.. And I'm going to wear lots of Butch Arm Candy like above & Pearls as well.
So it will be Butch Pearly Queen. Or maybe Dowager.

The Story of My Life Over a Glass of White Whine.
Last night I attended an Art Opening. I loved it. I met Liz who I told almost, but not quite, the Entire Story of My Life whilst surrounded by hoards of wine-swilling Art Patrons. She was great.
But back to me.
I am looking suitably Dowageresque holding my Vivienne Westwood Handbag like Margaret Thatcher. Not now, but in her heyday. Note my Pearls.

Eyebrows .
I am showing off my Highly Disciplined Eyebrows which I'm almost as proud of as my 'Dove' Toy Tanned Legs. Every three weeks they are rigidly waxed & dyed at Eyebrow Boot Camp. Its given me a whole new interest in Life.
Note the Pearls again.
Here I am with my great friend Jenny who is thankfully accompanying me to Bali.
My Early Packing is clearly Infectious as she has also begun to pack, although not as compactly as me.
Oh dear, I hope a Hint of Smugness isn't creeping in.

Lastly Lastly.
1. I now have a Serious Problem with both Robert Downey Jnr. & George Clooney. In fact, as I type, I'm watching RDJnr in 'Tropic Thunder' on mute. I hope that I'm not going back to Puberty/Mid Adolescence/Late Adolescence when, or is it 'where'? I spent a large chunk of my life fantasising over Paul Newman & Robert Redford. Or going back even earlier & imagining that Poor Cynthia Lennon had tragically died in a skiing accident & of course John just had to fall for me.Even though I was only eleven.
I thought those days were well & truly over.
2. Not taking computer with me to Bali. How will I cope?


Rebecca said...

You are a non-stop fountain of amusement, humor, creativity, and inspiration to me! Whatever will I do while you're away????

(I COULD spend my time coming up with other words to complete your list that began with Manageress. It would spare you the thinking time so that you can really enjoy Bali. And I know that you will!)

Actually, my inter-library loan books came in JUST IN TIME to keep me amused whilst you are absent from your computer. Phew!

janavi said...

Will all black be too hot to wear in Bali??
Redford & Newman were my absolute favorites too.
I also have a Laura Ashley type beach hat with flower. Classic, no?

Anyway have a really fabulous time!!! Can't wait for the pix.

see you there! said...

I noted the pearls (lovely). I also noted the wine in those ugly glasses. Tell the gallery director to use decent glasses next time. At least Wine Glasses, they do make them in plastic if you simply must.

I'm still pouting about Bali.