Boot Camptress

I'm not bragging, but this afternoon, I Boxed Like a Bantam & Skipped Like a Butterfly.

I stayed in plank pose for a minute while doing leg raisers.

I attempted a Hindi Squat whilst holding a barbell over my head.

I panted & sweated . I tried not to swear.

Now I sound like I'm bragging.

Not that I'm getting in shape for my 40th School Reunion Buffet Luncheon or anything. I wouldn't care if I walked in looking like Bette Davis in her last movie. And I'm sure if I did, no one would notice.

If I had my way, we'd have the Reunion back in the School Hall like it was an Assembly. We'd all be dressed in the School Uniform with our hair as it was back then. Mine would be in plaits like a Dishevelled Heidi . I would have to use hair extensions & not to wash my Existing Hair for at least two to three weeks beforehand to create the Exact Effect.

I can't think what would happen next. Perhaps we could hire a Professional Actor to stand on the stage dressed as a nun holding a microphone up to her mouth whilst she barks at us.

This is a Lame Idea. It must the Massive Endorphins swarming my body after Boot Camp.

Instead, why don't I walk you through this Small Series of Photos which demonstrate how swiftly & economically I change from Middleagedteacher to Bootcamptress?

Oooo.. I could have made a new word. I'm quite sure no one has said 'bootcamptress' before. Perhaps for good reason.

Anyway, The first snap was taken fresh out of the classroom. Note I'm wearing Houndstooth & Polka Dots. The only hint that I May be Sporty are the two sweatbands on my wrist, one with a pearl bracelet on it.

I'm peeling off the first layer to reveal a 'Trent Nathan' wool dress that I thrifted at 'BednobsEtc' a couple of years ago. It had unsightly should pads that I cut out. And its just short enough to contain a mere whiff of 'Slightly Slutty' without screaming it.

Oh, by the way, everything except the polka dot footless tights was from 'Bednobs'.

That's it. I'm done. All I've got to do is peel off the boots & put on my Pink Puma runners & I'm ready for action.

I absolutely loathe that type of shoe by the way. I feel Out of Sorts every time I wear them. But wear them I must if I'm going to avoid a Hip Replacement in a few years which is one of the Big Motivating Things that Miss Jay, the Games Mistress barked at me this afternoon when I didn't want to do anymore squats. Wacko.