Why I Don't Wear Jeans

The School Newspaper has asked me to write another column. Here it is.

Why I Never Wear Jeans.

There are many many reasons why I never wear jeans. In fact, I never wear pants. Except of course when I go to Yoga or Boot Camp. But that's a Whole Other Story.

The main reason why I don't wear jeans is the photo above. You may recognise Cher. Perhaps she is not so famous now that she is oldish & has had a little too much work done, but back then (The Seventies) she was a Major Brand.

I realised early on that Cher couldn't sing & I particularly hated one of her biggest hits which was stupidly called, 'Bang Bang, He Shot Me Down'. But I absolutely adored the way she looked in this photo. And I wanted to look Just Like Her.

Sadly, my genes wouldn't let me. But that didn't stop me from wanting to. At first I thought it was just a matter of losing weight. All I need to do, I thought, was to stop eating pineapple donuts (my favourite food at the time) every day.

It didn't work. I couldn't stop eating & I finally realised that even if I did, I wasn't ever going to look like Cher in jeans. A crushing blow.

So, I decided that if I couldn't look like Cher in jeans, I would give up jeans forever.

And that's what I did.

But recently I saw a pair of 'John Galliano' jeans on sale at 'Bednobs & Broomsticks', my favourite op-shop for twenty dollars. Because I can Never Resist a Label, I took at radical step & tried them on.

When I looked in the mirror in the change room, I didn't look like Cher in Jeans.

I'll just have to find a Galliano dress instead.