Who Would Play Me In The Film of My Life?

Can I Make Ten Points About Trench Coats?

1. I was overjoyed the other day when I saw an interview with Christopher Bailey, the creative director of 'Burberry' where he said that the most stylish thing that had ever been captured in a movie was Meryl Streep wearing a Burberry trench in Central Park in 'Kramer vs Kramer'.

Do you think he really meant it, or was he merely trying to Suck Up to his bosses?

Hard to say really.

But looking at that picture above, I'd have to agree with him.

Of course, I've had a Love/Hate/Couldn't Care Less Relationship with Meryl now for many years. At present, I'm half way between Love & Couldn't Care Less, although I do think she would be the most Sensible Choice to play Me in The Movie of My Life.

I'm now frantically trying to think of a good name for the movie, or would we call it a 'Biopic?'

I can't come up with a name. All I can think of are names of films that have already been made that have got nothing to do with me.

Like 'The Unsinkable Molly Brown', a stinker of a film with Debbie Reynolds in it.

Or 'Thoroughly Modern Millie', another stinker starring Julie Andrews.

Or 'The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe', a film that might be a stinker but I can't really say because I haven't seen it, which usually doesn't stop me from pronouncing something a stinker

.

How about 'The Thoroughly Unsinkable Wardrobe'?

OMG. How far have I moved away from Trench Coats? And I'm only at Point 1.

2. I would loved to have a Burberry Trench. But they cost $5,000. I read this in the newspaper. Perhaps it isn't true.

3. I have a 'Ralex' trench that The Ex-School Nurse gave me as a kind of swap. I defy anyone to tell the difference between it & a 'Burberry'.

4. Every Woman & Her Dog Literally is wearing a trench in My Suburb, Potts Point, which has a Dog Shop, 'Paws Point', that sells Dog Outfits & Accessories. There are v. few dogs who venture outside without a trench these days.

Its a Trench Coat World, After All.

5. Even though trenches are considered to be a Fast track to being stylish, I do believe it is possible to Look Slovenly in one.

6. There are some Strict but Simple Rules to wearing a Trench that Hunter is beautifully illustrating, below.

a. Always tie the belt like he has done it. If you don't, it shows that you're Not in the Trench Club.

b. An alternative to 'a' is tying the belt at the back.

c. The Modern Update to Meryl's billowing Trench is to wear it above the knee.

d. To avoid Slovenliness, always button it up.

7. The Most Famous Movie Featuring The Trench: 'Casablanca', worn most famously by Ingrid Bergmann & also by Claude Rains. This film really began The Trenches long association with Stylishly Tortured Goodbyes on Rain-Soaked Airfields.

I have completely made this up. But I'd love it to be true.