Drastic Measures

Graceland's Jungle Room or Perhaps The Kitchen.

Behold, above, what I wore today.

Desperate to keep warm in a classroom that is straight out of 'Jane Eyre', I decided to take Drastic Measures & wear a Totally Wool Dress & Matching Bolero. If you look closely you will see that The Ensemble is Orange & Brown, which gives a Strong Hint as to what decade it is from.

Desperate to get warm after I slithered out of the shower this morning, I quickly reached into the Tights Cupboard, grabbed the ocelot ones, put them on, threw the dress & matching bolero on, shovelled in raw muesli with yoghurt, furiously flossed & then frantically cleaned my remaining teeth, threw on makeup & a loose coat & ran out the door still shivering.

I should have realised that I had Slightly Overdone It when a rather mild male neighbour saw me in the street & did an obvious Double Take instead of his usual hello.

When I arrived at school, The School Nurse saw me & did a double take.

After she recovered, Nursie said that last Christmas she took her family to Graceland for a Holiday Treat & that my Ensemble reminded her of Elvis' Jungle Room. I could tell that she meant this as a Huge Compliment.

I scurried back to my desk & to the Google Machine where I immediately Googled The Jungle Room. Quelle Horreur!

Do I really look like a huge room with shag carpet & enormous lounge chairs with brown wooden armrests in the shape of serpents, I wondered?

Definitely Not.

Nay, I look more like Elvis' Kitchen. A symphony of brown cupboards, brown & orange carpet & big brown & orange Tiffany Lamps. Oh & brown Smoked Glass.

At least I was warm.

Who Actually Wore a Trench Coat in 'Casablanca'?

Last post you may recall that I made up some stuff about 'Casablanca' being the film which really put Trench Coats on the map. I said that Claude Rains & Ingrid Bergman both wore them.

Of course I was wrong even though I knew I'd seen a Trench somewhere in that film in the twenty or thirty times I've seen it.

But it was Bogie who wore it. And doesn't he look stylish ?

And here I am channeling a Game Show Hostess perhaps from 'The Wheel of Fortune', wearing the 'Ralex' trench that could possibly pass for a Burberry if you didn't look too closely. You may notice that I'm not exactly obeying all the Trench Rules that I meticulously outlined in my last entry. But I'll leave it to you to work out which one I'm disobeying.

Lastly, I was strutting down the street this morning on my way to school. Note that I no longer trudge. Or trot. That's because I've decided to become more like Mick Jagger.

Anyway, I couldn't help but notice this poor woman in front of me who was having a helluva time wobbling down the street in Towering Inferno Heels.

Quick as a flash, I took out my camera & snapped her. But sadly, the photo absolutely doesn't do justice to the height or The Degree of Difficulty.

What a shame.

Another Anti-Climactic Story. I often take both of us to the edge of a Non-Existent Precipice.