Monday, August 18, 2008

The Dumped Doll

I'm sure someone noticed that I haven't posted anything for almost two weeks. I'd been planning to, but up until now, I just couldn't. 
Because you see, I've been dumped. 
Yes, after fourteen or so years, Mr. Middleaged decided that he needed Time & Space. 
When it first happened, one of the many thoughts that  raced through my mind was, 'Oh, No, I won't be able to do the blog now because I'll be Too Sad!' Also, he'd become a character in the blog - in fact one of my last entries entitled, 'Decorating & the Straight Man', showcased his interior design skills in our Beach House. 
How would I be able to carry on, posting Miserable Little Wardrobe Shots of myself looking Brave & breezily not mentioning him? What the hell would I have to talk about? Would I have to start inserting Lame Recipes & photographing Creative Meals for One featuring Giant Zucchinis? Perhaps a tour of my pantry? Maybe my handbag?
I don't think so.
So, I decided the only thing I could do was to Tell the Truth. Of course, there's always a few snags connected with doing that, particularly if you Overshare, which I'm really tempted to do right at the moment. But I've got to think of My Students. I've always thought that none of them could be bothered reading the blog, but just lately I've become aware that some of the Really Really Lovely Ones occasionally do read it. And I don't want to Creep them Out. So girls, if you're reading this, ignore it - it's just Old People's Stuff. I promise you that I won't break down in the classroom or throw some weirdly embarrassing tanty over nothing. 
But back to Me & the Big Breakup. One of the Big Shocks that I got was when I jumped on the scales a couple of days after I'd been Dumped. I'd lost two kilos in two days! It was like a Little Gift from the Weight Fairy. It usually takes about a  month of eating like an anorexic for me to lose even  half a pound.  I wouldn't go as far to say that it was almost worth being dumped to have such a fantastic weight loss, but it felt pretty damned good. 
Because the thing was that I couldn't eat. Food just stopped doing it for me. But then my daughter came to stay with me for a couple of days. And I couldn't not eat in front of her. So I decided that I'd just eat things that normally I wouldn't allow myself to eat & haven't eaten for years. So far, I've eaten a large fries from Maccas, two double-coated chocolate 'Tim Tam' biscuits, two-minute noodles, plates of pasta & six pieces of deep-fried crumbed veal. I've also totally relaxed my ban on carbs after lunch. 
I'm so glad that I've managed to write all this. I've got oodles more to say but I'll leave it until tomorrow. Oh, just one last thing - the Dumped Doll in the picture was my First Toy. Her name's Jane & she's part of my Rotting Doll Collection.


see you there! said...

Rotten! Totally!

However, you already know that life moves on through all our trials and tribulations. Keep getting dressed up and posting your pictures. Pretty soon the pain will start to receed - really it will.

I love your dolly by the way.


rabespierre said...

oh my god --what do you say on the blog of someone you know from sharing wardobe pictures abt such a thing? i don't really know, except that that sucks! and it is just hard to be a person. i'm sorry to hear this, but i also hope that you'll keep writing about it --because you say things really well, even if maybe right now it's easier to say things than to feel like things are okay. anyway, i'm thinking of you, your internet fan, hilary

Pearl C. Pritchard said...

I read your blog religiously and I WAS wondering about you. In fact... after two glasses of wine on Saturday night I was about to write a comment about "how am I supposed to keep up with my blogwhoring if you don't post!!" (So glad I didn't write that now.)

But, really, I am so sorry to hear this news. It is just awful -- (I was left for another woman during my first marriage.) I know about the not eating thing. I got SOOOOO skinny. It was not to be believed.

We will keep our fingers and paws crossed for you.

kim and pearl

Jenny said...

I know that crumbed tim tams are delicious but are they good for the complexion? Healthy dinner on at Baroda this Friday if you're free. Send me txt.

Stuart A. Thompson said...

That is quite sad to hear! Use the inspiration and, soon, the new found energy to post. You really are a joy to read, even the sad bits.

dlittlegarden said...

I'm so sorry I'm chiming in late, and I'm so sorry you've been dumped. It's the absolute pits. Ever since spying your genius outfits on W_R, I've been enjoying your blog too. I just want to say thank you for sharing a very personal part of your life. Your writing always perks me up, and I hope you know that you have friends and admirers supporting you during your tough time.

Sigsy said...

Bloody hell.
I have been trying to have a break from the Internet a bit, not entirely. But enough to have lost the thread of the recent dumping.
WOH. That's not good.

On the other hand. I had noticed that you are looking incredibly trim.

Be happy.