Sunday, August 31, 2008

Use Tricks Learned in Dog Obedience Class to Train Men.

Just because I've been dumped doesn't mean that I have to become cynical about Men. 
Quelle Horreur! 
But during conversations with other women concerning Men over the past few weeks, I've noticed a Recurring Theme. I'd describe it as a kinder & gentler variant to  the 'All Men are Bastards' routine. 
In a nutshell, it's  'Men are like Inanimate Motorised Objects or Companion Animals & for Best Results, Treat Them as Such'.
Over breakfast at my local cafe recently I became mesmerised when Liz, a highly successful businesswoman, repeatedly described Men as 'Tonka Toy Trucks'.  She used rigorous arm & hand movements to demonstrate how they move along their path oblivious to everything around them until, 'BANG', they run into a roadblock & then they stop. I can't remember what's supposed to happen next, but I quite liked the idea that Men were Toys that we could direct at will, which was supposed to be the Moral of the Story (I guess)
On saturday morning, I was seated with my friends, Jenny & Di in the park across the road watching a huge array of dogs play & poo. It was another mesmerising experience. Talk turned to Dog Obedience Classes, something that I should have done when  my Poor Dead Dog, Bill was alive. Bill, an amazing black toy poodle died about three years ago, & I've never really recovered. But that's not saying much as I don't think I've recovered from anything. Anyway, Bill totally ruled my life, something I've been assured he wouldn't have done, had I taken him off to Obedience Classes. 
Jenny said that a way to stop dogs from jumping up  on  you was to look at the dog, clap your hands twice, & then turn your head away. Apparently, it works like a charm. Then, someone said that they'd heard that you can apply the same principles of Dog Obedience Training to Men  with Spectacular Results. In fact,  there's a book written about it. 
I must find out the title. 


see you there! said...

Thought I'd share this quote with you.

"Husband. A repressive word, that, when you come to think of it, is
compounded of a grumble and a thump"

From Dorothy Sayers in "Busman's Honeymoon".

Mine is at the mt. house for a week and I have the bay house to myself. AND...enough paper scraps to cut up some confetti as I'm in the mood to throw it, hahaha.


Della Street Dreaming said...

Darla - you leave the most wonderful comments that really make a difference.
Thank you