The Two Thats

Dear Reader

If you were paying attention last time, you would know that I'm Officially on Holidays.

Today has been Monday. It is now early evening & you may be relieved to know that I can safely say that Day 1 has been successful.

Let me briefly walk you through My Day:

1. I spent quite some time lolling in bed enjoying my new Slightly Used V. Grand & Luxurious Coffee Coloured with Pearls Sewn on It Bedcover with Matching Pillows that I thrifted from 'Bednobs & Broomsticks' last friday.

2. I ate a Mango that was Slightly Tasteless & lacking in Juiciness. I ate the remains of last night's Roast Lamb that had a lot of taste but not in a good way. (Rubber).

For the past couple of days I have been trying not to eat because I gained a kilo from shovelling in loads of food at school last week.

See what a Knife Edge I'm on?

3. I had an afternoon latte at my favourite cafe 'Zinc' with my Great Friend Maudie Dark Light Star. This was perhaps the Apex of my Day. I had such fun. What wasn't fun was that I felt compelled to pay my weekly, or was it three-weekly bill which came to $188. Of course, I'm showing off that I have a Tab at a Cafe. How many of you have got one?

Sometimes I feel that I'm living in Sesame Street. Or maybe 'Cheers' when Terri Garr was in it. Perhaps she was never in it. It just felt like she was.

Now it's Almost Night. And I suppose I should Walk You through the photos which don't go at all with the text. But I do rather like the tension that that creates. And I do like The Two Thats.

All the snaps were taken before I went on holidays, so they belong to The Middleagedteacher Project which I'm now Milking for all its worth.

Scroll back if you can be bothered to the first photo. I've called it 'Double Fish Woman' which I think is v. clever & charming. I love the slightly Chinese reference - the Chinese seem to love doubles - you know, 'Double Happy' etc., even though there's nothing vaguely Chinese about me or what I'm wearing.

But I've just had a thought: seeing that I'm adopted & all & don't really know much about my Glorious Lineage, I may well have a Chinese Great Grandmother or even Grandmother. Or perhaps a Great Aunt. I would soo love that to be true. If it were, it would explain my lingering love of the novels of Amy Tan & why I cry so much over her sad tales of China.

Back to the Photo. It was the last One of the Year. The dress was freshly thrifted from 'Bednobs Etc' & it is slightly Autumnal even though it's Sweltering Summer most of the time, but occasionally we have a Rogue Day which is slightly unnerving because the Weather is Weird. But don't let me start on that again. Rather look at my two fish pendants that I bought from 'Eternal 21' when I was in the US in July.

And when you're done with that, look look look at my shoes.

But more about them shortly.

Here's me at the Staff Xmas Lunch with a couple of Hangers -On.

What a shame that you can't properly see My Giant Black Flower in the front of the dress I'm wearing.

I'm always wearing that flower. Last week I mentioned that someone called it an External Fetus.

I love the dress because it has a Bubble Hem & you know how fond I am of them. Also it has black beading on the neckline which you won't be able to see either.

The Gaggle of Red Bangles or should I say, the Brace of Bangles created a Jangly Festive look.

Here's My Favourite Purchase of 2009. The Vivienne Westwood. I love it soo much that I even hold on to it when I'm teaching.

Lastly, look look look at my shoes.

Marc Jacobs. Eight bucks at 'Bednobs Etc'. Never mind that they might be half a size too small. I'm wearing them anyway.

Trixie said that she thought they 'looked cheap'. I have chosen to disregard that comment. And I've also chosen to disregard the fact that I usually have a Difficult Relationship with Lime Green which is the colour of the shoes even though they look yellow in the photo. For me, Lime is associated with Loathsome Middleaged Resort Wear.

Showy middleagedwomen who still love Tanning even though they look like Lumps of Leather really love Lime. I think they think it shows off their Tan.

I think that Lime Shoes is a different kettle of fish than Lime Clothes. I'm choosing to think that way anyway.

I know the Sockettes look stupid. But I was terrified of upsetting the Corn on my little toe which is causing some discomfort.

Lastly Lastly, do look at my Sad little Stick Legs. I have been experimenting with Fake Tan. The experiment has Failed.