The Zebra Decoded

Even though tonight's my night for watching Reality Fashion shows, I'm still compelled to blog. Its because I'm desperate to keep the Zebra Momentum going.

But first, let me v. briefly walk you through 'My Shows'.

1. The Rachel Zoe Project. Even though technically Rachel was on last night, she's part of my Roll Call of Reality Fashion Shows. Of course, I consider myself to be the Real Reality Fashion Show. But perhaps I'm becoming Slightly Grandiose. Maybe it's the Prozac.

Anyway, last night Rachel got upset about nasty things that the press was saying about her. Like she's too thin & she had a dummy spit at some pre-Oscar party. All of her underlings,

including her hubbie told her to Get Over It.

I personally have Never Gotten Over Anything in My Life.

2. The Fashion Show. Each week, Isaac Mizrahi chucks some poor fashion designer off the show while calling them 'Darling'.

'Angel, we're just not buying it. Bye-bye Darling'.

3. Tabitha's Salon Takeover. I love this show because Tabitha Coffey is Australian & she's in LA. She's one of those Hard As Nails, Have a Reality Sandwich type hairdressers who goes into Dirty & Dysfunctional Salons & tells everyone who works there to take the styling gel out of their arse & get on with it. There's the usual Reality show Tears'N'Dummy Spit before everyone hugs at the end.

Back to me.

1. Please note that I am wearing yet another Zebra Necklace. It's really a Disabled Zebra because it doesn't have any legs or hooves.

And I was so thrilled to read Zizzi's & Darla's comments this morning about the Symbolism of the zebra. Please read them if you haven't already. Of course, I couldn't think past the notion of camouflage, but they mentioned Uniqueness because no two zebra stripes are alike just like snowflakes.

Thank you!

2. I've begun a series of eight beauty treatments that I had initially agreed with my anonymous friend to keep quiet about but I've now decided not to. I had my first one today. It felt like a Near-Death Experience because I was subjected to an incredibly bright LED (whatever that is) light for many many minutes. All that was missing was My Dead Parents & Animals waiting for me at the end of the tunnel.

I can't remember what the treatment's called. Maybe Omnilux. I fell for it because a woman I know from 'Zinc', my local cafe, who had it, suddenly looks all plumped up & fresh faced when she usually looks like an Old Washer Woman. And the other drawcard was that it was apparently developed by NASA. That always impresses me.

Weren't they the people who invented Glad Wrap? And where would we be without that?