The Zen of Handbags

It's Sunday Evening. No one is coming for dinner. Except me.

Sick of eating Tuna Salads, I trotted down to the supermarche & purchased a v. small Free range chicken which is now roasting in the oven.

I absolutely can't wait as I've stuffed it with My Usual Stuffing. Crumbs, pine nuts, lemon thyme, onion & bacon. I'm even allowing myself some Roasted White Carbs!

So this is going to be concise & absolutely to the point.

Look Above.

I'm lunching at my new favourite cafe called 'Oliveto', only maybe it's spelt 'Uliveto'. As you can see, it's filled to the rafters with Fragrant Perpetual Bachelors! Except Me & Anna.

Anna is wearing an intriguing orange scarf which adds loads of pizzaz to her outfit!

How's that for Breezily Concise & to the Point?

I'm holding what looks like something perhaps a Cardinal might use to put his important Papal Papers in.

Actually it's a Vivienne Westwood Bag. And it's Real. Not Fake.

I've spent a Long Long Time thinking about Handbags. It's an excellent think to think about. Almost, but not quite Zen.

I thought I wanted a Chanel Quilted. I scoured eBay. Someone gave me a fake one that was metallicy red. I didn't like it much because it started chipping. When the Chanel shop opened at Bondi Westfield I even went inside but I was too scared to ask the price. I sort of knew anyway. Like about three grand.

And then I realised that there's a Complete Explosion of Chanel Bags Everywhere. Or bags that look like Chanel Bags.

Try this little experiment when next you venture outside. Not in some remote area. But somewhere where there are Proper Shops.

Look closely at women's handbags. I bet you that at least seven out of ten bags that women are schlepping areound are Chanel or Chanel Lookalikes.

I saw my Vivienne Westwood Cardinal's Handbag in a local shop window. The shop, 'Pour Tous' was shut. It remained shut for two days. During that time, I visited the shop at least fifteen times. I thought that it was never going to open again, which is typical of me.

Eventually it did. By this stage I was quivering. Talk about the effects of Delayed Gratification.

Anyway, I do love it even though I have to wear it slung across my arm as if I've been to Deportment School. And the Fab Vivienne Westwood logo is only on one side of the bag. Should I always position the logo at the front so everyone can see it, or is that a bit pretentious & wanky, I wondered?

I saw a bumper sticker this afternoon that said 'Make Love Not More' which I thought was a v. clever commentary on consumerism. I felt slightly guilty about The Bag. But then I realised that the sticker was about Over-Population which is something that I absolutely Can't Feel Bad about.

Off to eat a Chicken .