It's Sunday Night & I thought I'd better sit down & Blog.
It's been a few days since my last entry & I always feel that if I don't keep it up, My Whole Blogging Empire will collapse in Ruins.
It's not that I haven't had plenty of time to write a whole huge novel in Blog Form over the weekend, but you see, I've been busy enmeshed in Self-Pity.
Yes, dear Reader, I seemed to have spent most of the weekend feeling Sorry for Myself. It's an Art that I learned at my Mother's Knee. I've never met anyone who felt more sorry for herself than Mum. She was the sort of person that it was unwise to ask how she was because she'd REALLY tell you in a Very Detailed & Sad Way. It was particularly gruesome after she got bowel cancer & had a colostomy.
I remember watching her ironing Dad's hankerchiefs one rainy day when I was about ten. I can't recall anything about our conversation other than her looking resigned & saying , 'I've had a hard life'. It was one of those remarks that echoes down the decades & still has the power to punch me in the guts. I couldn't understand what on earth she was talking about. Her life didn't look too hard to me. What's so hard about ironing men's hankies? Or grilling steak or Lamb chops? Or going to the dry cleaners? Or abusing shopkeepers?
Anyway, it didn't matter how easy I thought Mum's life was, SHE thought it was Hard & Sad.
Well, that's Me this weekend.
I must say that I don't look too Self-Pitying in the photo above, taken last night before I went out to a v. lively & entertaining birthday dinner that I managed to feel Silently Sorry for Myself throughout. I'm hugging my friend Jenny's wardrobe in a rather stagy way, like I'm trying to channel Shirley Temple Without the Ringlets. Every time I wear Tap Shoes I feel the urge to point my toe. And I've never tap danced in my life. I desperately wanted to, but Mum said only 'Common girls' tap danced.
Please don't think ill of Mum even though I'm making her out to be an ogre. She wasn't.
Possible Reasons for My Self-Pity:
1. I've been Dumped for nearly 11 weeks.
2. It's familiar.
3. My best friend, Marge went back to California on friday after not quite a two week stay.
4. For over a week, each day for 30 minutes I've been listening to a Silent Affirmation CD which is supposed to have embedded within theta brainwave sound technology Powerful Affirmations that help you embrace change. "I Now Let Go of the Past With Vim & Gusto". "I Love Change with All My Heart & Soul", "I'm a Chick for Change" "Gimme Change Baby"... blah blah blah blah......
I've never felt worse. Or more fearful of change. Actually, that's not quite true. I'm sure I've felt worse, I just can't remember when.
But I'm not giving up. In fact, tonight I ordered online another CD of Silent Affirmations about Wealth & Prosperity. I'll keep you posted on my progress. I'm sure I'll have lots to say.
In the meantime, I'm going to continue taking advantage of Renewed Slimness caused by Being Dumped by wearing lots of little figure hugging Seventies Nylon Frocks that I keep buying at the Sunday Market across the road from my apartment.
I'm fairly sure that there's no real correlation between Self-Pity & Weight Loss. If there was, I'd be a Stick Insect.