Drain Story

This is a True Story.

For months I've been v. bothered by the Kitchen Drain. Actually, it's two drains.

I have two sinks that sit cozily next to each other. They are Not Twins, as one is smaller than the other. Perhaps the smaller sink is the runt of the litter.

One day, the drain in the Larger Sink decided to clog. I was slightly Puzzled & Perplexed by this, as it had never behaved like this before even though I'd spent years carelessly letting any stray leaf or food scrap go down it.

I showed no respect for the Drain. I had more important things to do.

As the weeks sailed by, the Clogged Drain got worse. Sometimes, it would take up to fifteen minutes for the water to go down. I became Annoyed with the Drain.

Soon it was Time to Take Action.

I marched down to the Supermarket to scan the shelves for a packet of Powerful 'Drano', a product from my childhood that I'd always been itching to use.

But after carefully reading the package, I chickened out. 'Drano' was far too Powerful. I settled for the Herbal Biodegradable Brand.

What a Mistake.

The Drain obviously didn't like Alternative Lifestyle Choices & decided to clog up even more.

By this time, it was taking up to a half hour for the water to go down.

Relax, I said to myself. You have more important fish to fry.

And besides, you're going away to America for a couple of weeks. By the time you get back, the Drain may have Recovered all by Itself.

When I returned, Nothing Had Changed. Still Clogged to the Eyeballs.

I went back down to the Supermarket. This time I bought an Old Fashioned Plunger. I took it home & began furiously plunging. I got soaked.

As a result, No Water at all went down the sink. Not one drop. In desperation, I siphoned it into a bucket & poured it down the toilet.

I now felt like I had a Well instead of a Sink.

If anyone at all is Still Reading this, you may be wondering why I didn't just give up & call a Plumber. I took it as a Personal challenge to solve the Riddle of the Clogged Drain myself.

Despair set in. Nothing I could do seemed to make a difference. In fact, it seemed that everything I'd done so far to unclog the drain made it Far Worse.

Just when I was about to give in & call the plumber, I decided to give the Plunger just one more go.

Suddenly, there was a quick gurgle & the water easily & effortlessly drained away.

I fixed it!

What is Slightly Strange, is that something v. similar has happened to me on a personal level. Only I can't really reveal it yet. But I will.

For the past year since Mr. Ex-Middleaged left, I have been a Blocked Drain.

I have done all sorts of things & have tried all sorts of Implements to become Unblocked. But I only got worse.

But then I did something uncharacteristically Powerful & Grown Up & suddenly, I'm No longer Blocked.

In case you think that it's something to do with Sex, think again. If I did, I would never mention it on the blog because my daughter reads this & I loathe Boundary Issues.